It is often darkest before the dawn. You seem to be making progress in becoming who you want to be as a person as well as a woman.
For me, I was often able to suppress things when I thought I had no choice. It was when there began to be glimmers of hope that it became
really hard.
This is a difficult road. Don't be hard on yourself for getting discouraged or depressed. It's part of the journey, unfortunately. But if your experience is anything like mine, as you move forward you will appreciate it far more because of the struggles.
Hang in there.

- Kate