Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

http://www.magic-city-news.com/Entertainment_8/What_Men_Want_Women_to_Know13092.shtml

That one made me giggle a little, but only a little.
I tend to not enjoy jokes like that... but...

Hubby takes over 10 minutes to get ready to go to the grocery store.
I mean, it's time to go, I get up, go pee, put my coat and shoes on, and I'm sorted.
He gets up, goes to the bathroom, checks and adjusts his hair (though he has very little), brushes his teeth, checks his clothes, changes his shirt if the one he's wearing is at all "dirty", comes back out, puts on a scarf (and then gets me to do it again so it'll "look right"), asks me 2-3 times if "this" is alright/okay ("is my hair alright?", "Is this shirt okay?", "Do I look okay?", etc), gets his boots and coat on, and then we can go.
But he won't start this process 'till after I've been to the washroom...

Why is it that I find that funny.  Oh because it pokes fun at ourself.  We need the ability to laugh at ourselves.

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.

This one is extra funny, Tekla. I've noticed that when I ask guys to talk more about what's on their mind they are short on words unless it's about things like the video game they are playing or some other interest.

I used to think guys just didn't like sharing all that was racing through their complex minds but many guys try to reassure me there SERIOUSLY isn't a bunch of unexpressed emotions and stuff. I guess that's hard to believe. It's like "Hellllooooooo up thereeeee" lol

It's not that they never think about other stuff, it's just that that never happens when other people are present.  Compartmentalization for focus.

it has apparently been scientifically proven that when u ask a man what hes thinking about and he says 'nothing' that its true. finally i've got the proof that i have just got vacant space inside my head

Quote from: MeghanAndrews on February 27, 2010, 06:51:27 PM
Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.

I rarely think about sports or cars, but this statement is so true for me.

Quote from: al james on March 27, 2010, 07:33:18 PM
it has apparently been scientifically proven that when u ask a man what hes thinking about and he says 'nothing' that its true. finally i've got the proof that i have just got vacant space inside my head

When I say "nothing", it usually really means, "a whole bunch of random things that really aren't important, and would probably make you mad at me if I told the truth".