Yeah, I am really asking this question. 

It's Saturday night and I am board out of my mind. For a while I was going to a local gay/lesbian bar that does a drag show but I just feel like a wall flower there. After all... it's a gay bar and the guys there are not interested in women and the lesbians, well, I'm not a lesbian.

So, there is another bar/club that I have been told has a nice mixture of older and younger people and it's usually pretty full on the weekends. It's not a gay club which is fine. I'm not really looking for a boyfriend right now although I wouldn't turn one down if it was the right guy. I'm just looking for something to do. I really only have one friend here in town that is not gay or trans that I truly consider a friend but she's been working all day and I'm quite sure she is not interested in going out tonight. All my other friends are either gay or have families to spend time with on the weekends.

I've not been out of the house other then to the store or job hunting in months and I'm going stir crazy with cabin fever. I seldom ever see other women at bars alone so I ask, is it ok for a woman to go to a bar alone?

I don't really know what's generally socially acceptable, but if it's what you want to do, it can be okay for you.

Sure.  I'd be careful if I was on my own (bull->-bleeped-<-, I'm a Danger Rangerette) but its not likely your going to get anywhere close to trouble in a gay bar.  Just remember, its a gay bar, and most gay bars have a much more overt sexual deal then straight bars - so remember, Thank you for asking, but that's just not me.

I'd be careful if I was on my own (bull->-bleeped-<-, I'm a Danger Rangerette)

You crack me up!

Just remember, its a gay bar, and most gay bars have a much more overt sexual deal then straight bars

I'm actually wanting to get away form the gay bar scene for that reason. I'm in no way interested in sex right now. I'm just board out of my mind and looking for a change of scenery and maybe meet some new people. I'm cautiously unconcerned for my safety and as petty as it might sound. I'm more worried about the social acceptability of women going alone into places like that.

Bring a book.  Really, sitting in a bar reading a book scares 9 out of every 10 people who will avoid you like you have the Plague or Swine Flu.

However, the tenth person is going to want to sit down and discuss literature with you.

But, if its a male centered gay bar, and you are presenting as female, well, that's just about the last thing they are looking for.

Oddly enough (though nobody outside the scene get it and popular culture has the totally wrong stereotype going), lots of gay men are gay men because they like men.

I actually read something about taking a book awhile ago. I may try that some time but I would have a heck of a time trying to actually read in this place I was thinking of going to. I may just stay home and read the book instead. 

Cabin fever is killing me. 

Could find a coffee shop or something to read in.  I know what you mean about cabin fever.  I'm staving it off right now by watching series 3 of Skins (best TV show ever), but after that I'm going to be sunk.

Depends entirely on the bar and the crowd it attracts, but in general I'm in the Danger Rangerette camp here. I don't always feel comfortable in straight bars, but this city has plenty of fun night spots I'm comfy with, so it's never really an issue.

You are entirely permitted to go to a bar by yourself. Especially at nine o'clock on a Saturday. There's even a song about it.

*shrug* I went to the bar alone when I was still perceived as female.  Never had anything terrible happen, though perhaps it varies by bar or the city/area the bar is located in.  The most that ever happened was random guys attempting conversation and buying me drinks.  I tried to decline, since I knew they weren't going to get anywhere with me anyways... but sometimes they absolutely insisted.  I usually ended up drinking them under the table.

I know bars and bar culture vary around the world. I've started going to the local hotel that has a dining room. I a nice meal and a few glasses of wine. I take a book and read it a little. I felt very secure. I still have a deep voice but none of the staff seemed to have a problem. A couple of the female staff were very nice and had a quick chat about nothing in particular.

OK is wasn't a bar as such but I was out of the house and human beings were around me so I did feel a bit more part of society.
This is Australia BTW. A couple of my TG friends have said they go to any bar they want, except for a few that no one in their right minds would want to go to anyway.

I have been to Gay bars and Gay friendly bars but I'm not part of that scene and feel a little out of place. Although I have never had anything except nice times at them.

Cindy

Going to a bar by yourself is fine, just remember, most single women who want to stay single that night will leave atleast an hour before last call....

I always went alone without any hassle or worry. Well maybe some hassle but drunk men seeing what they think is cute chick, What do ya expect.  Maybe that was how I got into fights then.

Funny you would say that Lynn, I just got home. I did go out but not to the club I had initially planned on going to. Instead I went to a place that had a live band playing and an open grill. I ordered something to eat and a long island. After a few minutes I was approached by decent looking guy form puerto rico and he bought me a few drinks.

About an hour later another friend showed up and then another girl who was there with her boyfriend and his buddies started talking to me. We all had a great time much to my surprise. This was my first time ever going to a regular bar by myself as Cami and I had an awesome time.

at the end of the day I would say that it is ok for a woman to go to a bar by herself... but after all, 3 long islands and 4 miller lights later I'm bound to say anything.

You know, it all depends on the bar and the person going.

I think your right Kat. I still have a bit of my old male bravado and thusly I'm not too afraid to go exploring.

QuoteCabin fever is killing me.

You can volunteer for public service or go to the library. Go hiking, bike riding, free classes, book clubs and other community clubs, church, yogi, etc.  Anything but bars which rarely bring quality people together.

Of course it's ok to go to a bar (or anywhere else you like) by yourself.

The behaviours you change when you transition should fall into one of two categories: (a) things you did because you were trying to fill a male role, but never really wanted to do or (b) behaviours that are inherently related to gender performance and otherwise meaningless, like male vocal intonation, posture, and gesture styles.

Please don't ever, ever, ever feel like taking on a female role requires you not to do things that are meaningful to you and that you want to do. Women spent most of the 20th century fighting for, among other things, the freedom to move about as they pleased.

fighting for, among other things, the freedom to move about as they pleased.

Yeah, well, sounds nice, but it doesn't ring true.  Everyone is not welcome everywhere, and finding that out the hard way sucks.  Some places red don't go, some places red's all they know.  There are parts of SF, Oakland, and pretty much everywhere in Richmond that I wouldn't go into alone with an automatic weapon and an armored car - and I'm not F-ing kidding.  Hell some guy shot five cops in broad daylight in Oakland last year, what are my odds?   There are lots and lots and lots of places where your race, gender/sex and sexual choices, your class level, your life even is not particularly welcome.  Places were being gay is not OK.  And, by the way, a couple of gay bars that really don't like 'tourists' either and will tell you that.  There is gay bar in SF that is almost famous for telling women to get the hell out of here, and a lesbian bar that is famous for doing the same thing to men.  Some bars/taverns are nice neighborhood deals where all sorts of people go and nicely hang out.  There are other places where no one every nicely hangs out.  Some are just meat markets where just walking across the room without having to fend off a bunch of tired old pickup lines is all but impossible.  Some are just fronts for criminal enterprises (a long-time Irish bar in SF was raided a few years ago and they came away with a couple of cases of automatic assault rifles) and they just don't cotton much to strangers in them places.  So I think that Cami is being smart in trying to work all that out before hand.

Anything but bars which rarely bring quality people together
Now that might well be true for where you life, but its not a universal.  I can think of several establishments that are nothing but quality, like the bar at the St. Francis Yacht Club (which just won the America's Cup), or the Pied Piper in the Palace Hotel (with the original Maxfield Parrish mural on the wall), and the joint across the street from where I sometimes work (we call it 'the break room') is John Lee Hooker's Boom Boom Room, and I meet all sorts of nice people there.  And in the Midwest, places like Chicago and Milwaukee have simply wonderful neighborhood taverns.

Although my taste tends to what most might call 'dives' like the 61 Club on the corner of Turk and Taylor (rated as one of the top ten dive bars in the US by several publications like Esquire), or Spec's/Adler in North Beach, or The Saloon, which has been in continuous operation since it opened in 1865 (Prohibition, not so much in SF).

A lesbian bar famous for kicking men out? The only dyke bar I know of in the city is the Lexington, and I see guys in there all the time.