Brandi, your story is wonderful.  It touched my heart.  I knew that when you stepped through the door here, you were special.  And I was absolutely right! 

My own defining moment is described in "Rise from the Fall" in my blog here in the forum.  https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,107.0.html  There are five parts.

Although I've always known I wanted to be a girl.  I didn't actually make the decision with the required resolve until that point in my life.

Cindi

I've always known I was a girl since my earliest memories.  I remember when I was around five or six, I would constantly daydream about suddenly having a girls body and being able to do all the things girls were allowed to do.

While my mother was at work when I got home from school, I would dress up in her dresses, undergarments, shoes, etc and play dress-up until shortly before she got home.  This went on for many years until I outgrew her clothes.

I have dreamed of tranisitioning before I even knew such things were possible and before I realized that others felt the same way.  I had been on a purchase/purge cycle many times out of a sense of guilt and feeling like I was mentally ill or a freak.

My defining moment came a little over a year ago while my wife was out of town visiting her family.  I looked up transgender resouces on the internet and went to a transgender store.  It took me awhile to get the nerve to actually go in.  Once inside I was accepted for who I was, no questions asked.  Meeting and talking with other girls made me realize I could pursue my lifelong dream of becoming the girl I always knew I was.  It has been a slow start, but it is picking up steam now.  Last New Years Eve while having dinner with my wife I just started to cry in the restaurant.   At that moment I knew what I had to do and that my destiny was in my hands.  This year has seen many changes, but I am still at the beginning of more dramatic changes to come.

So for me it has been a series of events over a lifetime, which led to my defining moment of self-realization last New Years Eve.

Maya

  Thank you Cindi  , caught me off guard there and made cry a bit....(it's injection day but still). 

  I'm glad you liked the story...and I'm even happier to see so many people talking about thier experiences. 

  It's funny, in a sad sort of way I guess, that when I was in school I was encouraged by one group of instructors to choose writing as a career and encouraged by another to go to medical school.  I chose to do neither...there was just too much pain and confusion in my life and committing to a career was paramount to facing reality.  Now, many years later, I find myself more interested in writing than I have ever been and even more fascinated by my love of medicine. 

  Since medical school is out of the question now I have been focusing on writing and, while often painful, it has allowed me to dig deeper into my soul than ever before and search out and exorcise my personal demons.  I suppose that's why I enjoy seeing people write about their experiences because do so seems to help me so much I hope it will for others too.

  I hope this topic continues as new and present members choose to talk about thier experiences......

Brandi,
that is such a beautiful story.
My defining moment of self realization?
Believe it or not, it actually took a supernatural experience to knock me out of my deep denial.
I'll just leave it at that, before you all start thinking I'm crazy.
But it's true, had someone (or something) not intervened, I wouldn't be here posting and I wouldn't have met all of you wonderful people.