For me I was attracted to girls since young. Once I realized that I was seen as a girl things got complicated. I didn't want to date women because, since I was seen as female instead of male, then I would just be seen as a lesbian. For me- and probably many guys- that just seemed so wrong since I'm not a lesbian. I'm a guy, yet seen as female even from the woman I would potentially date. So, what's the point? Everybody would just see me for something I'm not (even more) and- at that time- not much was know about transsexuals. So, I just didn't date and had no desire to (especially with guys).

In my late teens I finally gave up and dated a few guys. I ended up meeting a guy and feel in love with his personality. I loved his gentle, more feminine side and he had no problem with role reversal. I just learned to look past his body and love the person inside. Sex did become an issue but it's amazing what the imagination can do during sex to help cope.

However, over time it became harder to look past his male body and I found myself completely falling out of love with him. My dysphoria started to cause problems, frustration and grief for both of us (even though he didn't know the true reason). I thought if I got married and was a wife (though not a good one) that maybe I could get "over" my ->-bleeped-<- and just learn and accept to be female. That was a mistake. It never gets better- only worse.

I've looked at guys before and admired their nice bodies and genitalia always thinking "I wish I looked like that" and "I wish I had that". I'd see handsome men and wished I was a dashing attractive man like them. I never seemed to be sexually attracted to the appearances- just jealous. I guess I just became fascinated looking at things I so badly wanted but thought I could never have.

I got to a breaking point where I couldn't take anymore but didn't know what to do. Then I learned more about transsexuals, FTMs and learned that something could be done for me. For awhile I was too scared to do anything and feared what would happen and what people would think. I got over that huge hurdle and am now taking the steps toward becoming the man I really am.

tl;dr
I liked women, but eventually dated a few men and married one- but I'm still only attracted to women. I don't recommend it.

---

Post Merge: February 16, 2010, 07:10:11 PM

---

Quote from: H205 on February 15, 2010, 11:41:38 PM... I have NEVER been comfortable identifying as a lesbian. Being called or identifying as a lesbian felt gay to me.

Thank you for putting how I felt into words. You said that perfectly.

<8: "I like everyone"
8-11: "My friend says that if I like girls I'm a lesbian and that's 'bad', so I guess I just like boys..."
12-26: "I'm bi, but it's a big dark secret I have to hide"
27-29: "I really don't want to be married to this man anymore, and I'm pretty sure I want to date women, and it wouldn't really bother me to never sleep with a man again, so I must be gay (but I sure don't like that 'lesbian' word still)..."
30-present (nearing 31, lol): "You mean I'm not stuck with the sex nature gave me? I can actually be who I've always been and thought that I couldn't/shouldn't be? Then I'm a guy. Definitely a dude. What's my sexuality? I like everyone!"

Basically I'm pansexual, although I tend to like female bodies a little tiny bit more than male bodies, but that changes depending on which day of the week it is, which direction the wind is blowing from, and many other random factors.

In other news, this post made me realize it's almost been a year since I came out to myself as trans. What a long, weird, good, bad, up, down, overall positive, but still tiring, year it's been...

i consider myself pansexual/omnisexual/whatever. i like people more than their genital configuration, but i do tend towards more androgynous to feminine people, or at least balanced...not super macho dudes or hyperfemmes - REAL people. when i was younger i thought i was straight because that was the only option i knew about and didn't really care anyway. then, i fell in love with someone online and discovered my sexuality, had a couple months of "omg i cant be gay, gay is bad!" said screw it, and haven't really worried about it since. i like guys as a guy, girls as a guy, girls as a girl....but not so much guys as a girl, i just can't see how that would work. never tried, kinda want to, but don't really see it happening.

I'm straight. I only like girls. always have.  nope my sexual orientation hasnt changed.

Straight. Love women always have. Experimemted with men to prove i was female-even got pregnant to prove i was female but that didn't work!!!!!! Still love women and hope thst it doesn't change once i'm on T

Knew I liked girls a *little* young. Smart enough not to say anything though

Like a lot of you guys, i refuse to identify as a 'lesbian'...

I suppose to a point I like guys. Just not nearly so much. That and the guys I like are gay (therefore are not interested because I don't pass worth a crap).  whatever.

I realized that I was bisexual in the eighth grade. I've been open about it ever since. There was a period of about a month when I was on the cusp of admitting to myself that I was transsexual that I called myself a lesbian, but that label really didn't fit right. I've always been attracted to straight women and gay men. My being transsexual really helped me to understand that.

I started out as Straight when I was Female, then I turned Bisexual when I was still Female. Then when I found out about my Transsexuality, I was still Bisexual. My sexuality and romantic orientation tend to shift once in a while, but in the end, I'm always Gay

I'll never feel as comfortable with a woman then I am with a man, no matter what gender I identify as at the time

I love women. Ever since I was 3 I've loved women. I can count on one hand how many guys I've had crushes/liked. Two. LoL. I idolize men and their style, but no way am I sexually attracted towards them.

I'm pansexual and always have been although my preference is very fluid so at the moment I prefer men but that will probably change.

I have no idea! 

In elementary school, I liked boys.
But while I was younger, I liked girls.
In high school it got really confusing. I still liked guys, but I also liked girls at the end of the high school.
Now, I just don't know!   
I was thinking about all this, and I realized that I never really loved a guy, like DavisJ86 said - I just idolize them and their style.

So right now - I think I'm pansexual...
But still I like girls a bit more. 

In elementary school, I liked boys.
But while I was younger, I liked girls

You had a sexual orientation/preference before elementary school?  Wow, and I thought I started young.

I'm pretty sure I did, explicitly sexual or not...I never had much interest in girls for...well, anything, really. Except that some of them do look very nice. From a distance. With clothes on.

I have always been interested in straight girls. And after some thinking and reminiscing I find that I have only ever been with straight women.

I slept with a lesbian once but there was a straight chick involved too so I don't count that!

I'm still interested in straight chicks. And I doubt I am alone in this but they scare me to death!! lol

I think chicks were designed to scare those of the opposite sex and interested in them!

I knew i liked girls from pretty early on - hough at school i always wanted to hang out with the boys, because pre-teen girls are just dumb (or thats what i thought aged 9/10) I've had crushes on most of my close girl friends but get on best with the dweeby, geeky gay guys who i always end up hanging out with.    Interactions with straight guys are difficult,  either i sense they might be into me (or i remember the potential that they might be) i am undemanding, laidback and easy top be around... and that makes me feel really uncomfortable and squirmy. 


I self indentified as gay from my early teens (possibly even earlier) but was confused on occasion because i too had the 'really like this guys cos i want to be like him thing. Kissed a guy once too...so not my bag.

Anyway it's taken me 15 years to figure out that how i see myself with a women is not how lesbian woman see themselves with women (i think :~)  and that maybe i'm not a woman afterall.  Unlike a lot of you guys i did use the term lesbian though tended to prefer terms like butch/dyke.  And i've never really been a convincing part of the 'lesbian scene' which when you want to date women can make things a bit tricky *sigh*

I'm yet another who found myself liking girls as early elementary school (incidentally, most of the girls I have fallen for resemble the girl I liked in first grade, although older). Nothing much has changed.

I guess I'm still trying to figure that all out.  I think I lean towards liking guys more.  I've only ever dated guys and I tend to notice guys more and think how attractive they are.  But I don't really like really macho guys because most of them seem like jerks and most super feminine girls seem like witches (not sure the policy on swearing here, so I'll use the euphemism).  I tend to go in the middle.  When I'm watching tv shows or movies or other things (cough) with naked men or women, I tend to appreciate them both but neither one of them really turns me on...  I only get really turned on when I think of people doing things to me specifically and that can be a male or a female doing those things-- it's the personal stimulation feelings that turn me on, not the people who I do them with.  Does that make me asexual?  So I guess maybe I'm just not sure at the moment.  I'm confused.

I've always been bi, figured it out when I was 11 or 12 (maybe a year before I figured out that I was transsexual) and there hasn't been much debate since, although I have definitely been becoming gayer as time goes on, and I've realized a lot of my girl "crushes" have been along the lines of "I love her outfits!  And her hair!"

My development of gender identity and sexuality have been very twisted and entangle. I don't really seem to fit labels nicely, but I feel the most affinity with the identification of "gay male". Though I've been in love with a girl and think girls can be attractive too. 

Quote from: Devin87 on March 04, 2010, 10:12:35 AM
I guess I'm still trying to figure that all out.  I think I lean towards liking guys more.  I've only ever dated guys and I tend to notice guys more and think how attractive they are.  But I don't really like really macho guys because most of them seem like jerks and most super feminine girls seem like witches (not sure the policy on swearing here, so I'll use the euphemism).  I tend to go in the middle.  When I'm watching tv shows or movies or other things (cough) with naked men or women, I tend to appreciate them both but neither one of them really turns me on...  I only get really turned on when I think of people doing things to me specifically and that can be a male or a female doing those things-- it's the personal stimulation feelings that turn me on, not the people who I do them with.  Does that make me asexual?  So I guess maybe I'm just not sure at the moment.  I'm confused.

Yeah, I've definitely been there. It sounds like a wonderful opportunity to explore, though - try new things, find erotica outside of your usual range of gender, style etc., explore alternative sexualities, and so on. I find, myself, that most conventional, modern styles of femininity and masculinity turn me off. I prefer styles of expression that're more culturally and aesthetically appealing to me - fetishy, underground, and queer styles. That's not a blanket thing either, though - I like bears, but I can't stand the generic, A&F-wearing Castro Street clone guys. Some goth styles are beautiful; others make me think the person is stuck in middle school.

Then again, it's as much the individual person as anything. Hewing too closely to one's aesthetic preferences can border on prejudice - it's good to try to take each person as they come, and see more than just the exterior package. It all gets rather complicated at that point.

At any rate, have fun exploring!