This morning in the shower I found myself talking to my boy bits, reassuring them I was not mad at them and wouldn't get rid of them – they would just be rearranged.  And I knew that it would hurt because they would be cut and sewn, but in the long run we would all be happier with the new configuration.

This is a weird time.

- Kate

It's nice that you can have such a cool relationship with the 'boy bits'.

I have never been able to think of mine as separate or anthropomorphic. It is the poison sac which has distorted my body, making it smell terrible and making me feel ugly.

I make this point as I've noticed a number of people here treating their male organ as a friendly yet slightly unwelcome guest. I wondered if I should have adopted this approach a long time ago.

I recall times, especially in my teens, when I would hold the entire ugly mass in my hand and dare myself to yank it all off. On one occasion I had a large kitchen knife, one of those that has an extra sharp blade which lasts about 5 minutes after you get it home, willing myself to cut everything off.

I retrospect, of course, such ideas weren't going to do a lot of good. But they did cause a lot of personal torment. If I'd taken an attitude of a nice, but unwlecome visitor, as many here seem to have done. I wonder if some of the depression that I went through until I was 40, might not have been so bad.

Sorry to hijack your thread with my wretched tales of angst and woe. But I kinda enjoyed getting that out.

I have a hankering for quotes from the "kill bill" series of movies when talking to it.

Spacial,
I tend not to anthropomorphize and I had never done that before - that's why it was so weird.  I had always felt that stuff was part of me the way a tumor or wart or ugly birthmark is part of one.  (That is, when I didn't think it was an alien being taking over my person, like Invasion of the Body Snatchers. ) 

I think I am more tolerant of the d*** stuff now that I know I won't have to be stuck with it in its current form.  I am taking unforeseen pleasure in the idea that those parts of me that gave me so much pain and anguish can now be reconfigured into something wonderful and pleasing.  I think it's called recycling.

- Kate

Quote from: K8 on March 06, 2010, 02:01:58 PM
I think I am more tolerant of the d*** stuff now that I know I won't have to be stuck with it in its current form.  I am taking unforeseen pleasure in the idea that those parts of me that gave me so much pain and anguish can now be reconfigured into something wonderful and pleasing.  I think it's called recycling.
- Kate

That gives a whole new meaning to "Going Green!" And frankly K8, that seems such a feminine approach to the boys and the body correction coming. Not weird at all. I love it! But be careful they don't talk back! 

SusanKG

When I was getting everything in place for my surgery, and had my date set and everything, I started counting days I was so excited. In the shower I would look at my awful thing and point to it and say "haha your days are numbered! 44..." and so on as I was counting down. When I got to the last few days I just started saying things like "you're just about gone already" "you're gonna die" "you won't still be here tonight" etc.

Cruel words I know but it was something attached to my body in the most inconvenient place. I hated all the things it had done to me so I treated it the same as I would a cancer or a parasite.

If it weren't for the sensate tissue and the skin needed for my upcoming surgery then for sure I'd have hacked it all off completely.

Wouldn't take it too much to heart K8.

As I said, seeing how it has helped some other to cope, I wish I'd done it.

It's a coping mechanism and if it works, then it's fine.

Strangely, as I've gotten older, I tend to see things with a lot more resignation. Life can be a real bitch if you continually look for what you can't have. Now that I have acepted that things are not perfect, what I do have, I appreciate so much more.

One of the things that really use to upset me about it was that it meant I was so restricted in the guys I could go after.

I have never been attracted to the gay crowd. I really wanted someone with a normal attitude, a bit older than me. Preferably a gentleman.

Hmm. Perhaps I should have set my sights a bit lower. Perhaps Queen. Or possibly the first woman President. 

I might not be the biggest fan of my boy bits, but I was reading a comic and somebody gets a car battery hooked to his balls for torture.  I can honestly say that I do not want that to happen.

Er, Kate, did you talk to the bits that *aren't going to be re-arranged?  Did you tell them that they'll be excised, biopsied and burned?

I told mine that they were going to be tee'd up on a driving range... FORE!

-Sandy

With me it's always been a strained relationship at best. We currently aren't speaking to each other. I doubt if I'll even say goodbye.

Quote from: FairyGirl on March 06, 2010, 09:04:16 PM
With me it's always been a strained relationship at best. We currently aren't speaking to each other. I doubt if I'll even say goodbye.

This... Couldn't have said it better 

I did try cutting them off once as well. But the pain was too much. But I was a lot younger. As a teen, I used to have dreams of being  spy and being captured, my foes would castrate me but bravely I wouldn't talk.

I have an ambivalent attititude to them now. I'm 'brazilian' down there so they don't look boyish and I put perfume on them so they don't smell boyish. All in all I think I'm trying to feminize them.
Some off us, well at least me, are strange


Cindy

Oh yeah, also I take great pleasure in knowing that my disposed of bits were incinerated in a container of medical waste. <evil grin>

Okay I'm done being morbid now. :: goes and stands in the corner ::

I never asked what happened to my disposable bits... I just kind of imagined that maybe the stray dogs round the back of the hospital got lucky that day

Yes - ok - sorry - I'll get my coat!

Quote from: CindyJames on March 07, 2010, 01:30:38 AM

Some off us, well at least me, are strange


Cindy

I've often considered that point. It has been said by others, many times, but as most of us will agree, you get use to that and learn to treat it as no more significant that passing wind.

But to those, who are not like us, yes, it is strange. Others, who are content with their bodys, who willingly, even eargerly, participate in the game of male competiting, seeking a position within the male hierarchy that they can feel proud of. Then, seeking the prize of a member of the other team who they can also feel proud of.

Some don't get what they think they deserve. Some fail and become itinerent, or even break down.

But we, for the most part, well equiped intellectually, usually with good peer resources, we abandon the game before it starts. More than that, we actually want to remove the driving force that gives each of us the edge in this game, the best game piece, the finest bat. Then, to cap it all off, we want to become part of the prey.

I think most of us, can understand how, those we leave behind, might see that as strange.

But I don't.

I want to play the game but someone put me into the wrong dressing room. I have the wrong equipment. I have the wrong rules.

I should be over there, on the other team.

I want to play. I want to do my part. But this isn't my part.

Quote from: Sandy on March 06, 2010, 08:54:48 PM
Er, Kate, did you talk to the bits that aren't going to be re-arranged?  Did you tell them that they'll be excised, biopsied and burned?

I'm not on speaking terms with those parts.

- Kate

I cursed my internal girl bits daily and threw a huge party when they were excised and tossed into the trash.  I still curse the leftover girl bit that is useless to me, and will throw a party when that's gone.  The girl part that is responsible for, um, some happiness that  has grown nicely on T, I treat it like a king and tell it soon it will be free!!!!!


LOL

Well, gotta find humor wherever you can!


Jay

I speak to my body parts normally I only have curses for my testis. I did say something different recently.

Quite recently I've noticed abit of atrophy and shrinkage in my genitals and my Perineal raphe has become obvious and dark purplish. the shrinkage and atrophy makes it look horrible and wrinkly when I saw this I said.
"Hah!! Serves you right!"

I have also historically begged my immune system to listen to me an kill my testicles and various other masculine traits. If only we could control our immune systems so well we wouldn't need surgery. It's such a shame evolution of our immune system didn't pre-empt human intelligence so we have no concious control over it.
And I have attempted a self Orchi didn't do much damage before my hand started shaking too much.

Quote from: sneakersjay on March 07, 2010, 07:18:21 AM
Well, gotta find humor wherever you can!

Absolutely! Even there!
I don't know about you, but mine hate being laughed at.

SusanKG

i'm really kind of sick for saying this -- i always thought it'll be really cool to own a pair of testicles in amber (okay maybe just plastic resin) as shelf ornament