Hi all,

I finally got in to see a therapist this past Tuesday. It was...interesting. I'm not used to talking about myself or how I feel so it was very awkward for me, and I had a hell of a time verbalizing my reasons/feelings/etc. I came away from the appointment feeling like I hadn't properly 'explained' myself or why I believe I'm transgendered....but then, I think I was unconsciously approaching the whole thing looking for some kind of instant validation.

She did give me a couple of things to think about. For instance, she asked if I had SRS, was I prepared for the 'posturing' and dominance game that men go about with each other? Especially since I'm only 5'4? Lol...first thing that popped into my head was a pair of bucks locking horns...but I get what she meant. That is something I'd never thought about, as despite the fact that I distrust most people on sight, I do tend to expect people to be more logical than instinct/hormones dictate. (yeah, wishful thinking, I know...*sigh*).

That question hasn't changed my mind at all, but it's got me wondering if it's something I need to research since I'm such a social inept. Then again, I already have a weird tendency to try and appear stronger/more in control than some people, or to back down and just follow along with others. So...is this 'dominance' thing something I already do? Heck if I know. Maybe I should have put this in the philosophy thread....

Thoughts or experiences anyone?

You know what? I saw a similar type of posturing and competition in post-grammar-school girls' locker rooms. I either avoided involvement or, when I was forced into it, rolled my eyes and would not play the game. You can do something similar, but I'm not sure how it would work with the altogether different dynamic of grown men.

I don't know how often this sort of thing really happens in male spaces. I suspect that when it does, it usually takes place among people of a certain class or culture--or age, but I don't think you'll be hanging out in the high-school boys' locker room any time soon, will you?

I, too, was socially inept. I spent years correcting that; I'm a lot better now. Here's my bottom line: if you want to live around other people, you are usually better off acquiring certain social graces and abilities. Then you can choose to either use them or throw them off at will.

It doesn't hurt to be more inquiring about masculinity and men. But you may find that what you hear or read must be taken with a huge grain of salt. Some of the advice that my friends have given me simply does not apply in the circles I tend to frequent. You have to figure out how to act in a given context. People who can't do that tend to come across badly.

Actually you can learn a lot from high school boys locker room behaviors.

Learn the off side rule...that's usually used as a reliable bench mark in male posturing. lol