During the past several weeks, I have been communicating with a woman who contacted me through My Space.  She is disabled and confined to a wheelchair.  She reached out to me and we quickly developed an online friendship.

We've been trading several emails a day and she expressed great appreciation for the time I devoted to her.  She was hungry for companionship and as any of you who know me surely realize, I was most happy to respond.

Last night, she affectionately called me her "dear pen pal friend" and expressed several heartfelt emotions for returning her offered friendship.  She then told me that she hoped I didn't think her to be "wierd".

I of course told her that I did not think her wierd.  And then I told her that I had my own secrets that many thought to be wierd and offered her the URL to my blog on Amazon related to my book.  I wasn't trying to sell her the book.  But I did want to make sure she realized that I too have had a handicap in my life and have learned to deal with it.  After all, in the My Space world, it is a simple thing to look up the bio on any member.  And my bio is out there in its honesty.

Her emails abruptly stopped.  And she removed herself from being "my friend" in the myspace ether.  She offered no explanation.

I don't necessarily feel hurt.  This sort of thing has happened to me before. It used to be an all too common theme in my life. But it it has been years since I have subjected myself to an "outting".  I do feel dulled inside with a sort of lost feeling.  I feel tremendously sad for her as well.  She was so desperate for outside contact.

I still find it curious how someone can percieve great worth in a soul, develop a bit of a meaningful friendship (albeit online), and then cast it to the wind with such a revelation. 

It drives home the point that we still have many obstacles to overcome.  Perhaps they will remain there for all time. There are only so many we can break down in a single lifetime.

Time to move on.

Cindi

I'm sorry you had to experience that Cindi.  It did make me feel a little stunned inside when I read that.

Quote from: Cindianna_Jones on October 10, 2006, 01:28:20 PM
Time to move on.

Cindi

I hope that doesn't mean that you're moving on back to complete stealth and leaving us.

Melissa

I'm sorry to hear this happened.

If I may offer any condolence, the problem is not with you, but your correspondent.  She may yet return after she has had enough time to digest the information.

But the other possibility is that, although she has broken off contact with you, you have made a gift to her of giving her a comparison that allows her to see herself as not so bad off after all.  I realize that this is a bit twisted logic, but ofttimes people need external measures to measure their SELF-worth.

--She may yet buy your book out of curiosity, too. 

Karen

Cindi, I'm sorry that happened to you. I know that has happen to me, except in real life. I met someone and thought I had a real friendship going on and over coffee I told her my past. I haven't had coffee with her for over three weeks now and we went almost everyday. I was looking forward to our talks. She thought I was a lesbian and was OK with that. Now, I don't know. It really is a bummer.
Sheila

[[[[Cindi]]]]

Sorry to hear about that. It seems a hypocritical thing for her to do.

Well!  I think that stinks!

Her absolute loss, though.  Maybe she'll have second thoughts a little later.

I'd drop her a line, if I were you (and if I could), once in a while just to let her know you're not mad at her.  She may want to eventually reconnect but may feel ashamed.

QuoteI still find it curious how someone can percieve great worth in a soul, develop a bit of a meaningful friendship (albeit online), and then cast it to the wind with such a revelation.

It makes me wonder if her rejection is based on her religious beliefs.  It seems that religion is the only area in life in which people are accepting of irrationality.

Hugs & Smiles,
helen

Cindi, I am so sorry...but the way I see it, it is her loss not yours...

Yes, time to move on.....like my therapist says...stay away from people that make you feel weak or inferior, develop friendships that are healthy and make you feel worthwhile....

tinkerbell

An unfortunate turn of events Cindy to be sure, but I'm curious as to why you felt compelled to out yourself to this person.  Yes I agree that you needed to convey to this person that you too had secrets like everyone else, and this is not a criticism of you in any way, but I'm trying to get my head around why you needed to actually tell this person you were TS when there was no need to.  Would it not have been better to let her reveal her secrets after all she was the one reaching out.  A therapist would not relate personal problems to the patient so to speak... It certainly shows courage on your part risking and suffering the consequences, I'm not sure that I would be strong enough or maybe confident enough to do what you did.

I also applaud the way that you have not ridiculed your pen pal for her seemingly dropping the relationship without offering reason as it would have been the polite thing for her to do.  Like you I find it disappointing, sad even, that there are those who do not accept me, but I would not ridicule them for doing so.  It just seems our lot in life.  In a perfect world we would all get along with each other and no one would get hurt, but we all know about our perfect world

Steph

Sorry to hear that Cindi. It's odd how people can be so judgemental after being judged by others themselves and knowing how it feels first hand to not be accepted. 

Sorry to read that.  It is my experience that most people do not read the bios/profiles for accounts.

Cindi,
    You have touched many during your life thus far. She is yet another, though she may not know it. I will say it too, it is her loss, not yours.

                                           Marco

Aw, Cindi!

I'm sorry that happened to you!  You totally don't deserve it.  You should drop her a line that says, "On second thought, yeah, I do think you're a freak!"

Well, immaturity aside, you probably shouldn't do that, but I still think it'd be kinda funny if you did!  >

She sounds like a total loser and I'm sure her actions are a prime example of why she's so starved for human contact, the wench!  I don't even know her, but I'm mad at her. People messin' with my buddies always gets me riled up!

Much love!
~Kelly

I have a lot of respect for you for being open and honest.  It's a risk to share something personal, and now there's one more person in the world who's had their eyes opened to the possibilities in life.  It's a step.

Cindi,

It hurts when someone you care about rejects you, for whatever reason.  I applaude your efforts in reaching out and making a difference in another person's life.  This poor lady does not know the caliber of person she lost.

Risks are made to be taken...taking the safe way all the time never brings true happiness.  Bless you for taking the chance and opening yourself to this lady.  Hopefully, after she has had a few days to realize what she has lost, she will contact you again.  If she chooses not to, it is her loss.

And to quote someone on this board I think very highly of...."Chin up and all that"

Peace be with you.....Laurie