I finally figured out why I can't lose weight.  I suspected it before, but now I know.  I'm just too scared to lose weight.  If I lose weight, I am sure my adam's apple will become prominant and my breasts will shrink to nothingness.  I have been losing weight and I can already start seeing my adam's apple, whereas it was invisible before.  Also, the first thing I notice that goes when losing weight is my breasts.  Then my belly goes.  When the first 2 things start happening, I get really depressed and eat a bunch of food.  It's really self destructive and I just can't lose weight.  When people normally start losing weight, they get happy and the cycle keeps itself going, but I get depressed.  My face does look more feminine without the fat, which is what makes me keep trying in the first place.  I don't know what to do.  I just keep staying within a 5 pound range and go up and down between 180-185. Maybe I'm wrong about the adam's apple and breasts, but everytime they start changing, I freak out and feel like eating a bunch of food. 

Melissa

Well, I don't know about the adam's apple. I've never noticed it in any of your pictures.
Could be the extra weight is covering it, but more likely you're just being paranoid.
Because I really doubt 5lbs would do much, the first 5lbs would probably be lost in your stomach.
About the breasts - this is why many women's complaint about weight loss.
I mean they're mostly fat, so if the fat increases, they increase.
Mine would go down in size if I lost weight, but nah, me and thinness do not mix.
Also keep in mind that maybe your fat distribution hasn't really taken place yet.
When it does your face, neck, and breasts should fill out more.

Yes, the fat does hide the adam's apple.  I may end up needing a "shave" after all.   As for the fat distribution, for the most part that already happened.  I noticed a sudden change in the shape of my thighs and a bunch of fat in the pubic area appeared and the breasts increased.  Subtle changes occurred in the face, but my doctor says that changes keep happening for 5 years.  When I'm at the lower number, I have a female type waist and I now have some fat right behind my arms at seems to be part of my breasts wrapping around my body.  All in all, I have a more female shape, which helps me pass.  You can feel my adam's apple if you touch it and it's quite obvious in that respect, but I was a little surprised (and proud) that it wasn't showing when just glancing at me.

Melissa

Quote from: Melissa on October 02, 2006, 05:00:11 PM
My face does look more feminine without the fat, which is what makes me keep trying in the first place...

Really? I've seen a number of people suggest that, but it surprises me since women generally have rounder, "puffier" faces. I'm actually intentionally OVEReating to hopefully add some fat to my face.

Quote from: Kate on October 02, 2006, 06:57:35 PM

Quote from: Melissa on October 02, 2006, 05:00:11 PM
My face does look more feminine without the fat, which is what makes me keep trying in the first place...

Really? I've seen a number of people suggest that, but it surprises me since women generally have rounder, "puffier" faces. I'm actually intentionally OVEReating to hopefully add some fat to my face.

I tend to agree Kate.  For myself I dropped about 55lbs of weight last year and my face became so gaunt looking that family and friends thought that I was ill and that I had cancer or something.  Looking back a the pictures I can see where they would get that feeling.  I didn't look good at all.  generally speaking women do tend to have rounder, plumper figures than men and naturally carry more weight.  One topic that folks can look into is the "Body Mass Index" (BMI) it's will give you a very good idea about how heavy a person should be given their height.   Link is here

Steph

Quote from: Kate on October 02, 2006, 06:57:35 PM

Quote from: Melissa on October 02, 2006, 05:00:11 PM
My face does look more feminine without the fat, which is what makes me keep trying in the first place...

Really? I've seen a number of people suggest that, but it surprises me since women generally have rounder, "puffier" faces. I'm actually intentionally OVEReating to hopefully add some fat to my face.

Yeah, my face is like that too. My face is feminine regardless, but when I'm thinner, the high cheekbones become prominent, and my face looks ridiculously feminine.

Maybe I'll just continue to maintain my weight then instad of lose it. 

Melissa

good idea, Melissa.

I am scared as well.  Not for the adams apple or the boobs but because of the attention.  When I hit a certain weight range I get all of the beeps, the waves, and the come ons from guys.  I could never handle it very well until recently.  I mean, I enjoyed the attention to a degree but I was always afraid of what would happen if they knew that I am TS.  I have allowed a few bad (albeit extremely dangerous and lucky to be alive and all) experiences colour all that I do and all that I allow to come near.

Recently I have started identifying the feelings and dealing with them.  In the last year I have become a stronger person and, in some ways, different from how I was just a year ago.  What I have learned, what I have lost, and those that love me carry me forward.

Well, I've been losing weight anyways.  It just kind of happened on it's own after moving to my own place.  Unfortunately, my adam's apple is barely starting to show.  Unless you're looking for it, you probably won't see it, but I'm going to continue going for the weight loss.  The othe rthing that was holdingme back is that I knew my clothes wouldn't fit anymore and I don't really have the money to buy yet another wardrobe after only a few months..  I already have a couple skirts I had to add safety pins to so that I can wear them.  I did put on a few pounds at Susan's fest, but that's come back off.  I'll see how it goes.  As for the breasts, they started growing again, so they're actually bigger than they used to be.

Melissa

Weight loss is the proverbial yo-yo of life. Grrr!
I have to agree with Nero's response, I too have not noticed an Adam's apple on your neck. But if you feel it is noticible, you can obtain a trachea shave to have it reduced. I had mine done at the same time Dr. Schrang was doing my gender corrective surgery. That way it saved extra outpatient costs. For more information, you can read this artical: http://www.tsroadmap.com/physical/face/trachea.html My tracheal came out a lot nicer than this person writiing her experiences. With mine, one cannot see any visible signs of scarring. 

I may do that, but for the purpose of expedience with getting GRS, since I still am saving up money, I will probably skip cosmetic procedures for now and keep it to just GRS.  Oh, and I just ordered some a PS2 and a DDR pad and game, so I can start doing that for exercise.

Melissa

don't worry about the Adam's apple.  Most people don't know the clue.  I still have mine.  I tend to hide it in various ways but I don't worry too much about it.  I don't think that anyone picks up on it.  Perhaps I'm just deceiving myself... but it can certainly wait for you.

Cindi

My breasts are more prominent since I lost weight. I don't have an Adam's Apple.

Quote from: melissa90299 on December 02, 2006, 10:06:50 AM
My breasts are more prominent since I lost weight. I don't have an Adam's Apple.

Well, you've had FFS, I haven't.

Melissa

Melissa i wish i had a recipe for strategic weight loss where you point and shoot where you wanna lose it, I'd share it to you for free!  (would be easy to do cause i'd be a Kazillionare!)
But alas i am not that intelligent!
I understand what you mean about losing weight in the areas where it would hurt what your are trying to achieve!
Dang-it!
big hug
Ricki

Quote from: Melissa on December 02, 2006, 01:04:23 PM

Quote from: melissa90299 on December 02, 2006, 10:06:50 AM
My breasts are more prominent since I lost weight. I don't have an Adam's Apple.

Well, you've had FFS, I haven't.

Melissa

Just to clarify, I never had an adam's apple.

Quote from: melissa90299 on December 04, 2006, 08:49:12 AM
Just to clarify, I never had an adam's apple.

Ah, ok.  Well, mine doen't protrude enough to be noticable anyways.  I mean if you touch it, you can feel a bump, but that's about it.  I feel comfortable being at the weight I'm at anyways, although I am now exercising (just for fun).  If I lose weight, then so be it, if not, I'm happy.

Melissa

I know why I don't lose weight.  I eat too much!

But really I've thought about being post op and getting back into the pool (how I miss that!) and I know I'll lose some girly attributes.  I said to a friend the other night how I'd like to lipo all the male fat from my body.  She laughed but agreed that would be nice.  I suppose it's not out of the realm of possibilities though.

Julie

Quote from: Melissa on October 02, 2006, 05:00:11 PM
I finally figured out why I can't lose weight.  I suspected it before, but now I know.  I'm just too scared to lose weight...

Exactly why I keep pigging out TRYING to *gain* weight. It's impossible though. It's like some physical universe law: Kate Cannot Gain Weight. Oh sure, it SOUNDS like a blessing, but... I want curves. I want a more feminine body and face. So I eat and eat, and weigh myself, and... same. Drat.

And we're talking multiple big pasta meals with tons of nasty cheese, couple rice dishes, ice cream, snacking, non-diet soda (I know, I know...)... in one DAY.

I want a rounder face Pout. You're all so darn cute, and I'm... not