I know it isn't good. So I don't know what I hope to accomplish by this because I know what the responses will be most likely. I know I don't make good decisions by other people's standards and maybe I'm ruining my life. But I just always feel like I have to be thinner and that's what I've decided to do and I can deal with the consequences from that. I know what everyone says get help but I just don't think I can ever do that.

I am not quite sure what 'that' means. I exercise to make my waist slim, but not to make my whole body thinner. I sometimes wish I have big hip and boobs, although it is biologically impossible.

Barbie~~

if that's you in the photo , then your pretty much in perfect shape , although i think you should even put on a little weight , but it doesn't matter what i think , what you think is what matters
you know my babysister is just like you , always tells me she needs to loose weight and she's really not . but the fact that she tells me , means deep inside she needs someone to tell her she don't need to
and the fact that you are talking about it here means that you also need someone to tell you how to stop thinking that way

i had bipolar depression , and when it started i really did not want to get help i just let myself sucked into whatever thaughts i had , i really DID NOT want to change it although it was torturing me and terring me apart , and when things got too serious , and i mean REAL serious , i finally got help . i hope you do too before things get too serious , although i know no one on earth can convince you to . but i hope you manage to convince yourself
good luck

Emoboi, does your doctor say anything about your weight? Or do you ever see a doctor?

No, I don't currently see a doctor.

Anorexia is a bad idea.

If weakness bothers you, anorexia will make you even more fragile and weak. And it might kill you too.

Just hang in there, we all get depressed.

Maybe losing weight will be unhealthy for you. It really depends on your frame and metabolism. That's why I mentioned a doctor; family and friends can't always be objective.

I can't really say that I believe the current weight charts to be reasonable, but if your doctor thinks you are too thin, you should probably rethink your decision to lose. If s/he thinks you are at a good weight, you can probably afford to lose some. But usually your body won't go down below a certain weight unless you take extreme measures. If it takes such measures for you to reduce, then please reconsider.

Could some of your desire to lose weight come from your gender dysphoria? If so, can you get help for that?

You say that you can deal with the consequences. But if you lose a lot of weight, the consequences can be dire. Have you really done your research? Is this an informed decision or an uncontrollable impulse?

I just want you to be okay.

Well some of it comes from gd but I wouldn't say that's why for the majority that I have the desire to lose weight, It's just I've been down this road so many times before I don't see any other option that to do it. I don't feel like I should just ignore my desire because I can't deal with this. My desire to be thin shuts out any sane thought I have and I just want to do it. And I know what could happen but I wouldn't say its an informed decision so much as I don't feel like I can control it, I guess I could if I wanted to.

heyas,

You should think about seeing someone to help with the problems too so you can build some safer ways of coping with stress, anxiety, or whatever it is that's bothering you.  Just keep making small progressive steps.  It's better to be healthy and have a fulfilling life than to hinder it through bad habits.  Keep at it though and try not to revert back to it.  You can do it.

Quote from: emoboi on March 24, 2010, 07:43:43 PM
Well some of it comes from gd but I wouldn't say that's why for the majority that I have the desire to lose weight, It's just I've been down this road so many times before I don't see any other option that to do it. I don't feel like I should just ignore my desire because I can't deal with this. My desire to be thin shuts out any sane thought I have and I just want to do it. And I know what could happen but I wouldn't say its an informed decision so much as I don't feel like I can control it, I guess I could if I wanted to.

As the parent of a girl who almost died from anorexia and is still struggling with recovery as she works to rebuild her life I have one thing to say: GET HELP!!

Anorexia is very like Gender Incongruity, in that it will not go away. It has to be acknowledged, confronted and dealt with. And in both cases, the results of NOT dealing can often be fatal. Please, for your sake and that of the people who love you, go to your doctor and if at all possible get yourself therapy, regular weighing (and DON'T cheat) and, if necessary, hospital admission.

In the end, you will be the only person who can cure you ... but you can't get to that point alone. Please, I'm begging you ... reach out.