My (cis)boyfriend and I want to have vaginal sex.. because, I am afraid anal will hurt.. and so far my dysphoria is ok with the vaginal area... for the most part.

anyway..  I am TERRIFIED... TERRIFIED of pregnancy.. Like, my paranoia is extreme, and its not the good kinda of paranoia that makes me make right decisions.. its the bad kind that keeps me from doing anything I want, and just being crazy.  This paranoia is so bad that I would probably worry about anal sex TOO, because semen could get near.. the spot.

Anyway, I just don't know what to do... I would obviously have him use a condom.. but my friend was talking to me about. how I could still get pregnant, etc.. and I really don't think i want to get on birth control, cause wont that make my body more feminine?

Is there anything I can do about this?

I dunno Im just feeling frustration that I even have to worry about pregnancy at all.

both diaphragm and intrauterine device can prevent pregnancy minus extra hormones.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diaphragm_(contraceptive)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrauterine_device

If he gets semen in your vag then run to the drug store and ask for plan B.
Problem solved.

Quote from: cynthialee on March 22, 2010, 08:47:17 AM
If he gets semen in your vag then run to the drug store and ask for plan B.
Problem solved.

How will I know if he does.. and would I want to buy it after every time we have sex though?

If you get proper fiting condoms you will not have to get a plan B.
Plan B is there for just in case.

I would say that maybe you should go on the pill if you are going to be sexualy active. (I know I know...kinda self defeteing, adding fem hormones and all......) /shrugs......

Quote from: Elijah on March 22, 2010, 08:50:01 AM
How will I know if he does.. and would I want to buy it after every time we have sex though?

if the condom breaks, he would have to tell you or you notice, if the condom is sabotaged intentionally, there may be no knowing until lack of red deth. (ps: "plan b" is hormones)

Quote from: FlanHusky on March 22, 2010, 08:56:34 AM
if the condom breaks, he would have to tell you or you notice, if the condom is sabotaged intentionally, there may be no knowing until lack of red deth. (ps: "plan b" is hormones)

This is why when I have sex with a guy I insist on ussing my condoms and ussually I will put it on him myself. (at least thats what I used to do back when I was sluting around.)

I don't think the pill can really hurt you at the moment.

I'm terrified of pregnancy too.

I've been on the Pill for... six or seven years now, and I don't think it's made me more feminine looking. I've probably gained some weight because of it, but that doesn't happen to everyone, and you can work that off. I also had a brief period of nausea for the first week, but that's about it. I exclusively have vaginal sex (with my cisboyfriend) because I've gotten rid of my dysphoria around it by making it so it's my only sexual orifice down there.

I sympathize with your frustration. :\ If you take the pill like you're supposed to, though, you don't have to worry. Menstruation gets lighter/more regular and less of a pain in the ass, too, which helped a little bit with my dysphoria around that.

Condom + pill = happy Elijah!

It's always a good idea to use more than one form of protection. I don't believe birth control would feminize you, although it does use feminine hormones.

I was on birth control for about a year and in my experience, it didn't make my body any more feminine than it already is being born a female.  On the plus side, when I stopped taking birth control, my periods stopped.  I haven't had one in almost 16 months which definitely lessens the dysphoria at least a bit.  I guess what I'm saying is, for your peace of mind, birth control may be a good option for you, plus a condom just to be safe.

Female condom.
Sponge.
Cervical cap.
Spermicide.

Quote from: Arch on March 22, 2010, 04:22:26 PM
Female condom.
Sponge.
Cervical cap.
Spermicide.

overkill

At the point where preparing for sex takes longer then the act will, perhaps some re-thinking is in order.

Wow um...I actually agree with Tekla here!!

You are wise, Elijah, to invest this time.  You may invest a few days, or your unplanned baby will consume roughly a quarter of a century(and that assuming that all goes according to plan).  In my own culture, your preparations are entirely normal, and generally expected, of both sexes when this sort of sex is involved.

Elijah, is there some professional that you can speak with?  It sounds as if you're ready to consult a doctor on the subject.

- N

Quote from: cynthialee on March 22, 2010, 04:29:31 PM
overkill

Uh, they were mix 'n' match suggestions. Am I not allowed to come up with more than one suggestion?

I don't know how they all work, but I'd be really surprised if he could even USE a sponge with a cap or a fem condom with a sponge or whatever.

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Post Merge: March 22, 2010, 05:47:00 PM

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Quote from: tekla on March 22, 2010, 04:31:20 PM
At the point where preparing for sex takes longer then the act will, perhaps some re-thinking is in order.

Well, it partly depends on whether the BF has a hair trigger, doesn't it? If he does, maybe even a condom is too much trouble.

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Post Merge: March 22, 2010, 06:48:54 PM

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Quote from: Nimetön on March 22, 2010, 05:49:43 PM
You may invest a few days, or your unplanned baby will consume roughly a quarter of a century(and that assuming that all goes according to plan). 

True, but there are ways to prevent that outcome. Besides what he's contemplating, I mean.

I'm not advocating that he just toss all caution to the wind, by the way. I'm just saying that it's not the end of the world if a pregnancy DOES occur.

I laughed rather hard at overkill, and had an image of like a massive anti-pregnancy contraption on a poor guy. I don't recommend spermicide, it's the least reliable.

I've been on the pill for...like 2 years? I haven't noticed any weight gain or change in body shape, but maybe that's just me. It does make that time of the month a lot easier to deal with, I had horrible cramps before I was on the pill. Plus you always know when it's going to come lol. I use the pill + condoms and it makes me feel pretty secure that I'm not gonna get preggers. I don't know much about the other forms of BC, but that's my 2 cents. I think the hassle of female hormones/taking a pill every night outweighs the pregnancy scare factor.

Quote from: Sameth on March 22, 2010, 09:09:27 PM
I laughed rather hard at overkill, and had an image of like a massive anti-pregnancy contraption on a poor guy. I don't recommend spermicide, it's the least reliable.

Alone, I would say yes. But he says they'll be using condoms, too.

I don't like spermicide at all because it hurt like hell and then gave me a whopping yeast infection...it must have changed my Ph so dramatically that I became more susceptible than usual. I also got pregnant once by using spermicide only, but I was lucky enough to have a spontaneous abortion.

Hunh. I always forget to mention that on my medical history.