So just to give a little background about myself, so you can understand my situation...

I'm 20 right now and I pretty much have no experience at all in regards to intimate relationships. I was severely depressed around the time I was 14 and I didn't seek help until after I had graduated high school. Although some girls showed interest in me during high school, I just wanted to withdraw and avoid relationships. I had several friends, but only one "good" friend, after high school I only occasionally see my good friend (he goes to University in a different province). I'm an mtf transsexual and (so far) I'm only interested in other woman (transgender or cisgender). Depression wise my mood is amazingly better, but I still stay inside too much. Right now I'm not going to school, just working, I'm in "male mode" at work for the time being, but I'm working on that.

I guess where my issue is how do I meet other trans-friendly people, I'm not too sure how I'm suppose to become active in the LGBT community. I'm assuming becoming active in the LGBT community would be the best way to make friends for someone who is transgender. My psychologist actually got me in contact with a transgender support group which I'm going to. I'm going to ask the group about how to become active in the LGBT community, since we live in the same city, but any words of advice could help me. We're all friendly with each other in the support group, but I'm nervous to ask someone if they wanted to see a movie or something (just as friends). It's been so long since I did stuff with friends (or had friends for that matter), that I'm not too sure how to go forward. I guess I could just go for it and ask someone in the group to do something, worse they could say is "no". I'm not too sure if I'm that close with anyone, is it common to be friends outside with someone in a support group?

So dating... I can pass in public quite fine, but I only started the full hormone regiment about 2 weeks ago. So I'm still not that developed as a girl if you catch my drift  . I'd consider myself a lesbian, but is the idea of dating sort of on hold till my body becomes more female? One of my worries about dating is that it's probably harder finding dates for gay/lesbians just by a numbers game, but the thing is not all lesbians/bisexual women will accept me since I'm a transsexual. All of that added to the fact I pretty much have no experience dating, and I'm still living at home, so I'm quite worried about being able to meet someone. I probably want to focus on making friends first and other areas of my life, but I would really like to meet someone, I feel really lonely. Would an online dating site be a good idea? I've considered going to a LGBT club (drinking age is 19 here), but I'm kind of scared to go by myself and I'm not really the drinking/club/party type.  If I can start doing stuff in the LGBT community, I could try to meet someone there as well; I don't have many ideas other than those.

I feel like I'm whining, with some effort I'm sure I'll make friends, etc, I guess overall I just wish I didn't feel so lonely. I just needed to put my thoughts and feelings on paper, but I'd love any thoughts/comments/ideas/suggestions/etc. Phew that was long, thanks for reading. 

Note: You don't have to comment on my situation, any general advice for making friends/dating is very welcome. 

Can't give any advice since I mostly have the same issues, minus the part where you have a job . I'll be watching to see what people say though.

Facebook is invaluable for making new connections. I love facebook.

Beyond that, CONFERENCES are a *GREAT* way to meet other trans-folk.

I'll willingly admit, I'm a bit of a conference junkie.

There's an upcoming IFGE Conference in DC, for anyone that would like to make some new friends. :-)

I cannot too much on trans specific issues, as I am not out except to a select few people but....

in my experiences making friends or lovers has always been a function of two things:
1. being myself
2. being confident.
In your case i'd add get out of the house a bit and mingle. School, work, hobbies, shopping, any place is a good place, if you see an interesting person just talk to them the worst they can do is think you weird. If you are an introvert, this might be stressful at first but, once you meet a few good people, it will seem like second nature.

It has always worked for me, even though I am not much of a dater, I am much more into the long term. I just treated the people I've been interested in the same as I would anyone else, and if I really liked them I told them. What is the worst that can happen if they know you think they are attractive? I didn't flirt or use pickup lines or even follow peoples advice, I just remained confident in myself and treated them like anyone else. It is amazing how much better people react when you act natural toward them.

I think for the most part I got 1 and 2 down now, a year ago probably not  . Your 3rd point is what I need to work on, putting myself in places where I can meet new people. I guess I need to be patient, I just hate feeling lonely  .

Thanks for the responses so far. 

Btw, Katelyn I have to ask, what support group?!?!

I've looked everywhere I can think of, even called Vancouver Coastal Health to see if they knew of any support grps on the island and they said no x.x

Sorry about offtopic

Quote from: JessieMH on March 30, 2010, 09:54:42 AM
Btw, Katelyn I have to ask, what support group?!?!

I've looked everywhere I can think of, even called Vancouver Coastal Health to see if they knew of any support grps on the island and they said no x.x

Sorry about offtopic

Haha no worries 

I'd PM the info, but I don't think I can do that yet. If you send me an email (should be in my profile), I can give you the contact info for the group. We meet every second sunday, it's in a building near save-on-foods on vernon ave.

Edit: Just to add, probably didn't hear about us as I think the group started in Nov 09, and it's not run by any organization or anything, just some trans people wanted to start one, luckily the building we are using is free.