So I cut all my hair off, which left me looking like a very conservative clean cut guy. I am not upset about it, since it had to be done for my court appearance (car crash) and because my family was nagging me day and night. I did it mainly for court though.

I was going in with an open mind... but I look in the mirror and think to myself that this isn't me. Hair grows back, but I want it all back again. This time I plan not to cut it ever again.  It'll take about two years for the minimum length I want. I keep cutting and growing it out it's now just getting tiring.

The thing is though, I look somewhat better now then I did with longer hair. It was in transition between shaggy hair and shoulder length hair, so do you think it look bad because it was an awkward stage? Shouldn't I look equally attractive before and after? Maybe my long hair needed style.

New haircuts can take a couple days to get used to, especially with drastic changes.  You'll get used to it, figure out a new way to style it, and looking in the mirror will stop being a shock soon.

And like you said, hair grows back.

good luck with your court appearance.

I'm used to the hairstyle right now, since I am having a very good reaction towards it. The last few times I would cry in my room for days.... but this time I am okay because it had to happen. I can't go to jail just because I can't cut my hair.

I just do not want to do this ever again.

I know how it feels. I cut my hair off a few months ago and it felt like I was a guy. Its an awful feeling and people say when someone cuts off their hair they loose personal power. Im not sure about this but I know its an effort to grow it back. Just remember to look after it as your growing it back and it will come back thicker and lusher hopefully. Vitamins help regrow hair and using the right products will maintain its lustrious look. Be positive. I hope your hair at the moment can be styles to make you feel feminine. I personally dont like it when I cant put my hair up with a hair band because the wind and elements knock it about without it tied back or up.

I had to do that once to get a job back. I was in shock for a bit, boyfriend was upset at my employers, and eventually the hair grew back. I didn't go back to that job and found a job that didn't have any obvious and blatant discrimination towards my hair. Maybe it did but I didn't notice

I hope your court case goes well. I've been there done that and am movin' on.

Go to a stylist. They can help to make even short cuts more feminine. If they have nothing to work with right now, well, it'll take some time yes. But, seriously, a stylist. Don't fall into the trap that I did, thinking that MUST HAVE LONG HAIR FOR GIRL GRRR. I look so much better with shorter, styled hair than I ever did with a curtain of hair.

You run a pretty good chance of getting stylists who will try to interject male features into a haircut even if you say you want it to 'soften your features' and 'not be really masculine', etc, and it's too important to let that happen - so just tell her you're gay and want a girl's haircut if you don't want to explain the real reason.

I don't think there is a MTF alive who hasn't had nightmares about hair falling out, or having it cut off. It's a little death for us. But you'll make it through. Your priorities are straight.

I actually just had that nightmare last week -- it was terrible.

Quote from: Megan on March 30, 2010, 02:10:28 PMThe thing is though, I look somewhat better now then I did with longer hair. It was in transition between shaggy hair and shoulder length hair, so do you think it look bad because it was an awkward stage? Shouldn't I look equally attractive before and after? Maybe my long hair needed style.

Yes, yes, and yes. I've worn my hair long for years but the growing out stage is horrible! That's one of the reasons that once it got long I have just kept it that way. Its high maintenance but you get used to it. A short cut can look good because it has shape and looks groomed. A longer style can look good for the same reasons. In-between you want it to grow out more or less evenly, so it tends to look shaggy and unkempt until it reaches shoulder length, about 2 years as you mentioned.

I can tell you from personal experience that there is NOTHING like the confidence you can get in your female identity when you find that you can wear a buzz cut and still get called Ma'am and miss everywhere!

That was back in my youth. It took me a bit of time to get used to the idea, because of course as soon as I went short I could see all the male features of me again - but for some reason everyone else didn't so although I don't usually do a buzz I do tend to oscillate between long and short these days.

Quote from: Autumn on March 31, 2010, 04:46:59 AM
Go to a stylist. They can help to make even short cuts more feminine. If they have nothing to work with right now, well, it'll take some time yes. But, seriously, a stylist. Don't fall into the trap that I did, thinking that MUST HAVE LONG HAIR FOR GIRL GRRR. I look so much better with shorter, styled hair than I ever did with a curtain of hair.

You run a pretty good chance of getting stylists who will try to interject male features into a haircut even if you say you want it to 'soften your features' and 'not be really masculine', etc, and it's too important to let that happen - so just tell her you're gay and want a girl's haircut if you don't want to explain the real reason.

I don't think there is a MTF alive who hasn't had nightmares about hair falling out, or having it cut off. It's a little death for us. But you'll make it through. Your priorities are straight.

Well I am not a mtf (if ever), so long hair was mostly just my thing regardless of gender... it's not even about gender but more of my identity, since I rather have long hair than breasts. But I relate to long hair because it's consider a part of femininity, which I question a from time to time if I am a mtf. I just don't really decide, since I'm just fine being  a guy sometimes. Just going through the days I guess.

Today was really strong though... because I just wish I could transform my whole identity.  I wish I wasn't born into this body I thought... but I like who I am in the inside.

I cut off a big majority of my hair a couple days ago. I meant to only cut off a small portion of hair but wound up cutting a lot off

It's still hard to get used to, but it'll be easier to wash and easier to dye. Maybe for once my hair will come out completely black when I dye it

Quote from: Megan on March 31, 2010, 01:52:36 PM
Well I am not a mtf (if ever), so long hair was mostly just my thing regardless of gender... it's not even about gender but more of my identity, since I rather have long hair than breasts. But I relate to long hair because it's consider a part of femininity, which I question a from time to time if I am a mtf. I just don't really decide, since I'm just fine being  a guy sometimes. Just going through the days I guess.

Today was really strong though... because I just wish I could transform my whole identity.  I wish I wasn't born into this body I thought... but I like who I am in the inside.

Kid, I've got to say, if you question it, you probably have it. If you were able to go thumb through the old posts of many people here, you'd find the progression of androgyne or crossdresser, transgender, transsexual. Some would say it's justifying things to other people. I call it coming to terms with yourself. The vast majority of this world can't accept us when we don't accept ourselves, blessed are those who do. Most people who decline transition are still coming to terms with it. See: so many late-life transitioners (the average age is what, in the 40s?) I spent something to the tune of $8000 on laser hair removal to feel more comfortable in my own skin, while denying the need to transition.

I am not recruiting or preaching. But from personal experience, it took me a long time to come to understand that normal men don't wake up wishing they were girls... on any day. I do not know the story of your life, but you're also on this forum, with a lady's handle, and a lovely photograph.

I am sorry for the loss of your hair. I understand the feeling of having a part of your identity ripped away. Especially one that is the core, or a major piece of your femininity. For me, having my voice trashed for the past 5 months has been hell.


Also: Being happy with the person you are inside doesn't change things if you're unhappy with the person on the outside. I came to accept my personal identity long before the outside matched within.

I guess you're right, lol, normal guys wouldn't even search up this forum. I want to become a girl more so on some days then other days, like Megan Fox, she was a climax point for me to make an account here. I was crying that day like I want to be her. Pathetic.

That's a GG in the avatar though, she's the lead singer of Circ.

Okay I am 18... I want anti androgens. I need to see a doctor about this... I have no insurance (except the one that my mother has me under still has for me until 19).. but I do not want her to know I am taking them. I just want to stop anything that is male happening in me, like more facial hair.  I am getting a second job, so maybe I can do something about that around May.

If I let my feelings free I just want to be a woman, but I do not want to be a 'sex object' transsexual or any stereotype of a transsexual. I want to be sexy, but not sexy because I am a transsexual, but just beauty 'Brigitte Bardot' not Jenna Jameson.

But I don't know if I can put transsexualism on top of everything about my life, my life is really bad right now. I never had any true friend in my whole entire life, autistic, I never had riches, never felt attractive but I wanted to be attractive. I was never really accepted my whole life... so it just sucks. I want love, and it doesn't need to be sexual, just love. I kind of really hate my life, but I do not think about how negative. I just look to an optimistic *hopefully* future, that's all I can do.

I don't want to be less of a person either, like I am not even human if I transition. I can't really explain this well, but I think I would feel embarrass if people I met through my life saw me as a woman now.  Like all my aunts and uncles, and everyone who knew me. I don't want to hurt my mother either.

Quote from: Megan on April 02, 2010, 06:00:55 AM
I guess you're right, lol, normal guys wouldn't even search up this forum. I want to become a girl more so on some days then other days, like Megan Fox, she was a climax point for me to make an account here. I was crying that day like I want to be her. Pathetic.

That's a GG in the avatar though, she's the lead singer of Circ.

Okay I am 18... I want anti androgens. I need to see a doctor about this... I have no insurance (except the one that my mother has me under still has for me until 19).. but I do not want her to know I am taking them. I just want to stop anything that is male happening in me, like more facial hair.  I am getting a second job, so maybe I can do something about that around May.

If I let my feelings free I just want to be a woman, but I do not want to be a 'sex object' transsexual or any stereotype of a transsexual. I want to be sexy, but not sexy because I am a transsexual, but just beauty 'Brigitte Bardot' not Jenna Jameson.

Meghan

I assure you that just about EVERY woman here wants to be seen as a normal woman and not a "transsexual"

Take me I lived most of my childhood as an almost girl, thanks to very symapthetic parents. I transitioned properly and had had my SRS before my mid twenties. I've lived and worked pretty much all of my life as a female. That makes me the odd one out in some ways because as Autumn said most people do not realise what they are as early as I did, and indeed it often does come in stages.

Fact is medically I have a transsexual and intersex past - that is a historical fact which I can not escape. But in terms of how I see myself I am just your pretty ordinary woman next door...

Forget the stereotypes and media myths - sure there are a few out there, and each to their own, so I'm not critcising them... but look - the VAST majority of us on this board would be grossly offended and frankly spitting mad to a point which you would not believe if someone accused us of being the stereotypical sex object transsexual.

So welcome to the club! Sounds like you are a pretty standard MtF after all.

Oh and as for the bit about being less of a person - that's just nonsense. I'm no less of a person because I transitioned. Sure some people can find it difficult to understand and cope with, but that's their problems and not mine or yours. I've lived a successful happy and productive life. What more can anyone do?

We can all ONLY be the person that we are. If others don't like it then frankly they can go take a hike! Because in my book anyone who tries to force another person to be false to themselves, for no better reason than that they feel uncomforable about it, has crossed the line of what is morally acceptable for one human being to do to another period!

I was about 18 when I began tackling being TS. It took many years for me to get to the point where I could say "This is what I want." The social shame weighs heavy.

HRT without insurance is... almost impossible to afford. There are some reputable overseas vendors, and with doctor supervision, you could be probably just as safe as if you were doing it all from American soil. But the bloodwork by itself is very expensive. Thankfully, the T test is actually pretty cheap compared to liver panel and estrogen panel.

We're not supposed to talk about stuff like that, and I may be censured for it, but I think that someone still in their teens has such a potential for better results if they can act on suppressing further masculinization...

Also, many people are social outcasts prior to transition. I certainly was. I had no friends and I was just completely awkward. Every step of transition made me feel better. From nairing the body hair, to wearing womens' clothing like a rockstar, to laser hair removal, to finally feeling confident I wouldn't lose my hair from taking AA, to full on HRT... it's a slippery slope. You demand more.

What pushed me to finally take spiro was when I did some exercises I really enjoyed, but gained too much muscle mass to fit into my shirts afterwards.