How can you tell if a man is checking you out?

I've noticed men holding doors open for me a lot more now too, not to mention the random free drink offers sometimes. Kind of sucks for me though since I'm still more interested in women.

yeah, it helps if you let the women know you are a guy, and the guys know you are a woman.

I am now a member of the female tribe, no longer an outsider.  Even in women's bathrooms and locker rooms... showers... I am accepted as one of them (unless someone knows my past and then that knowing nullifies me and makes me an outsider to them (and I am distrusted) though women are usually subtle and tend to communicate very indirectly).  Something "bio" males tend to generally be oblivious to, something "trans" women sometimes pick up on eventually, given the opportunity.

I now have a will to live which is a sort of privilege.

Women and children trust me (as long as they don't know my past), men are willing to do things for me including remodeling my home and things that require a lot of work, not just casual things like holding a door but those things also.

But I think some of this has to do with "attractiveness" or attractiveness privilege.

Bio Men have the run of the world and women must be careful.  Bio Men will do anything to get in your pants including knowingly giving you a sexually transmitted disease or getting you fired just to have a one night stand with you... They will knowingly and willfully destroy your life (given the chance) just to have sex with you.  And I include this as a privilege that I now have, because you can use it to your advantage or you can allow people to destroy you, physically and emotionally... psychologically..

Women have power, especially attractive women and young women.  I will never take it for granted (having been denied it for many years) but I know many do.

Yeah, guys have been opening doors for me for years before I began transition, but recently I had a flat on my jeep and some guys stop on I-95 and changed it for me and then last week I had the hoop up on my Mustang and 4 guys (at my apartment) stopped and asked if they could help me, I guys a dump blonde doesn't know that much about cars, but it is still rather great.

Jill, I wish I knew when guys are checking me out, my girlfriends at work tell me when ever a guy is checking me out but I just don't get it, still.[/b]

Quote from: JillEclipse on March 27, 2010, 09:55:48 PM
How can you tell if a man is checking you out?

The most obvious one is when their expression changes and their eyes tend to go up and down, or at least down (to the boobs). The more playerish they are the better they hide it, then there's other cues.

Quote from: ErickaM on March 29, 2010, 07:40:00 PM


Jill, I wish I knew when guys are checking me out, my girlfriends at work tell me when ever a guy is checking me out but I just don't get it, still.[/i]

I always know when a guy is checking me out, eyes on my cleavage, then my feminine intuition, and being overly helpful, yesterday at a hardware store, just getting light gardening stuff, getting seeds, the bags where light, not particularly heavy, but the guy insisted on carrying the bags to my car, said my perfume scent smelt like roses, I smiled and thanked him, he was definitely checking me out, I flirted a little, he was cute, it is a cherish moment when a cute guy see me as an attractive woman, just a pity my boyfriend wasn't with me, he would be so jealous, he gets so jealous when guys start checking me out lol
p

That's the problem with me, I have a lot of those privileges already just being a guy; except female friendships but that wouldn't even happen if I were a female.

It's like in between for me, like I have both worlds, hard to explain since I just look like an average guy. Or maybe it's just all in my head.

My grandmother was a proper lady.  She didn't drive.  She had driven when she was young, but before World War I she entered a busy T intersection in a large city even though she didn't have the right-of-way and was hit by a coal truck.

Her explanation was that the truck driver could clearly see that she was a woman and should have let her go ahead.  And since people didn't drive that way, she stopped driving.

I always thought this was just a funny story, but now that I am driving about as someone who is clearly a woman I can better understand her thinking.

- Kate

None whatsoever.

I got the "privileges" of extra harassment by airport security, open mockery, ejection from a couple of businesses on grounds of making a family uncomfortable (I can't blame them for losing one customer rather than three or four, in conscience). Also an exorcism performed on me and a cracked skull.

This is during / after eight years of work by the way.

I did get the "privilege" of having a few interesting adventures and changing a few people's opinions about transgendered people, but I have to ask -- I don't mind benefiting those who will come after me, that's how civilization progresses, but why hasn't my paying it forward gotten me any benefits?

Better, I think, to give up.

(EDIT: Cute captcha. M MAN B)

Some of these things have probably already been mentioned, but these are the things I have noticed.

-Women include me in their conversations when in the bathroom.  This surprised me the first time that this has happened.  Even my friends that know I'm trans strike up conversations with me in the bathroom. I also go in groups with my friends.

-Men hold doors open for me all the time.  This one guy nearly tripped over his feet when he hurried past me to open the door for me today.  This one guy from this ultra conservative town even tipped his cowboy hat to me when I passed through.  I had on my princessesque dress and cloak this other time (yes i own a cloak) and this guy did a half bow while holding the door open and said 'for milady'.  I had to do a princessesque curtsey after that one.
I'm not even hot or anything, just more cute in a nerdy way.

-people no longer expect me to like cars and sports.  Some people might view this as a negative, but for me I hated when pre-transition people thought I cared who won the game and if that car made a loud vroom sound.  I looked very bookwormish, why would it surprise them if I didn't know what a hemi was?

-I can be near kids and no one feels the need to sound an alarm.  Too bad, babies kind of annoy me.  Now animal babies on the other hand are the cutiest things ever.

-I walk with a playful bounce in my step, hop-walk down steps, sometimes skip, or half twirl, but now people find it cute rather than as a reason to beat me up.

-I was carrying groceries home in the rain and a guy my age pulled over to give me a lift.I didnt take him up on the offer, but he was kind of cute.  I also get a lot of guys offering to carry things for me which is helpful because I struggle to now open even a bottle of juice.

-women compliment me on my dresses and skirts all the time, asking where did i get them.  I also use plushie purses such as that of a penguin which garner a lot of compliments.  My female friends ask to borrow my skirts often.  It surprised me to find girls jeolous of me, specifically my shoe and dress size.

-i can show emotions in public and even cry when something bad happens without being called homophobic slurs.

I am still a bit new to this but so far:

-Men don't squeeze my hand so hard when we shake hands (thank goodness)
-Men hold the door open for me now and that is nice
-I have always felt more comfortable being friends with females but it is even better now
-Clothes!!!! I hated how limited an boring men's clothing was to me.
-Guys buying drinks for me. (I always wondered how that felt on the other side)
-Dancing with guys - especially this guy I met this weekend. Wow! I am 6'1" and this guy was at least 6'6" and HUGE (muscular). I felt so vulnerable but safe at the same time. I knew that if anyone messed with me they would deeply regret it.
-Male horseplay crap is history and I ALWAYS hated that.

There is no 'privilege' in being female.
Males have all the privilege.
Feminism 101.

Free drinks at the bar! 

Quote from: gothique11 on April 07, 2010, 04:26:10 AM
Free drinks at the bar! 

Free date rape!

Quote from: gothique11 on April 07, 2010, 04:26:10 AM
Free drinks at the bar! 

Quote from: casorce on April 07, 2010, 05:34:36 AM
Free date rape!

There is no free lunch.  (Perhaps that expression is prehistoric to many here.) 

What I mean is that almost everything has its plusses and minuses.  There are advantages to being perceived male.  There are advantages to being perceived female.  Which advantages suit you?  And which disadvantages are you willing to accept or protect yourself against?

Even though there are many drawbacks to being a woman in this society, I love being a woman and being treated as one.  I'll put up with the loss of status, the perceived decrease in intelligence, and the increased vulnerability because I feel that the opportunity to be free to be myself outweighs them.  And I get great strength from being included in the Sisterhood.

- Kate

Quote from: casorce on April 07, 2010, 04:11:14 AM
There is no 'privilege' in being female.
Males have all the privilege.
Feminism 101.

Feminism 101 circa 1970, perhaps. Here in the 21st century, some significant privileges enjoyed by women in western societies (those, at least, who are not forced by their families to live under medieval social/religious constraints) include ...

Longer life expectancy
Much lower risk of being incarcerated
Much lower risk of being the victim of violent crime (yes, some men bash women, but they bash each other much more)
Approx 60% of all college places go to female students
The majority of newly-qualified doctors, lawyers and accountants are now female
The majority of post-graduate entrants into media and communications industries are female
Because of those facts above, young women in US cities (and all of the UK) are now earning more than their male contemporaries
Many of those women then choose to work shorter hours in order to bring up their families (overwhelmingly the preferred option for women, including college graduates, when finances allow), a choice frequently not available to men
The clothes are MUCH prettier! 
Women can say what they like about men, whereas no sane man/politician/columnist would dare insult women in public
Much more research into female cancers, esp. breast and cervical than male cancers, eg. prostate and testicular, tho the numbers of men that die from prostate cancer are roughly similar to female deaths from breast cancer
Much more specific legislation conferring employment rights, freedoms from discrimination, etc, on women (clearly there's a reason why women have needed this, but even so)
No danger of the X-chromosome becoming extinct, unlike the Y

My point is, the battles may not be over, but it's clear who's going to win the war ... and it isn't men.

Here are the "privileges" I have experienced:

-I now get hooted and hollered at in a sexual way, whereas before I was only shouted at for being a "->-bleeped-<-got" or looking weird
-I now feel more at risk on the streets at night
-I now have misguided men leap to my assistance, even though I'm taller and stronger than many of them
-I now feel more pressure and insecurity about my image
-I'm now judged unworthy according to a different set of ludicrous and demeaning standards

I suppose women are a tad more comfortable speaking to me now, but that was always the case, because I looked like a "->-bleeped-<-gy" androgynous boy anyhow.

I'm afraid I just don't get the idea that the gendered double standard is a good thing, and should be relished or celebrated.

Quote from: PanoramaIsland on April 07, 2010, 11:58:11 AM


I'm afraid I just don't get the idea that the gendered double standard is a good thing, and should be relished or celebrated.

Good or bad, it exists, you can enjoy the good and let the bad go or make a point as you have.

I always felt that the behaviors you speak of are like mating rituals. You run to open the door in order for a women so they will hopefully see you in a favorable light. Same reasons for opening jars and all the other guy stuff. Just as women wear makeup and bright colors in hope (even if subconsciously) of attracting that perfect male.


I lose some things and gain others. I take it as just the way it is now but admit that what many of you celebrate, aggravated me to no end.

Quote from: LordKAT on April 07, 2010, 12:07:36 PM
I lose some things and gain others. I take it as just the way it is now but admit that what many of you celebrate, aggravated me to no end.

Seconded. I'm honestly baffled by a lot of it. Who wants to be talked to in the bathroom? Or have attention drawn to their clothes? Or their body? I love that I'm invisible now, and when I do get noticed, it's because of me and not what I'm wearing.

But then I check myself against reality and realize that (1) most girls do seem to like that stuff, and (2) the difference, I guess, is that you ladies are wearing yourselves on the outside (and thus don't mind it getting noticed) whereas I wasn't.