i'm done with being weird lol, giving up the goal of transitioning forever, since it's just going to make my life too hard lol.

have to just accept being a guy.

Your decision, I hope it works out for you.  Personally, Weird is definitely better than the self-identified "normal" people I have met. I'll keep it.

I have thought about doing the same thing but I would much rather be 'weird' with a body that i'm ok with then this.

I've given this a lot of thought. You're certainly not alone.

At my age I have to reasonably ask myself: What do I know about being a girl and do I know enough to function as I would need to once fully transitioned?

But yeah, I'm well into this guy thing enough to pull it off for the duration provided I can somehow suppress this thing of ours.

I often desire to be normal too, Megan.

I think we all do at times to one degree or another.

Megan, do whatever you think is right for you, but remember to go easy on yourself, none of us are perfect, and mistakes are just a way of finding out what doesn't work for us.
None of us are here to live up to anyone else's expectations over our own needs, so best wishes for the future. and a hug.

I definitely empathize. Sometimes I feel like, "what am I doing to myself?" I reflect and the general consensus is these feelings will not go away! I honestly am MTF and I cannot do a male lifestyle! I do get tired of the strange looks I get sometimes, genuine girls reactions and hostility towards me, and wondering who would put up with me! Usually I get these feelings on a "pitty pot" but I figure if I just keep trying I may meet some decent people halfway and find some semblance of peace.

It's a rocky road girl but only you know what you need!

I wish you well

You need to do what is right for you.  I felt the same way many years ago and I resent the fact that I gave up so easy.  I waited till I was 54 to begin again, and it was hell all those years.

But if you can find happiness, then be all means go for it.

I think even though sometimes society may treat me with weird glances, I feel more normal now than I did before transitioning.  The constant obsession and just having to hide so much just made me feel weird, but also more isolated and alone, because it made it harder to really open up and relate with people.  Now that the cat is out of the bag, while some things are harder, I think my quality of life has gone up.

Quote from: Megan on April 07, 2010, 07:20:29 AM
i'm done with being weird lol, giving up the goal of transitioning forever, since it's just going to make my life too hard lol.

have to just accept being a guy.

Hmm. I could have written exactly the same words 35 years ago. I so desperately wanted to be accepted and to find love.

Megan you can see in my post history I actually joined 3 years ago in 2007 when I would have just turned 20 I like you was full of nerves and found it unimaginably hard to take those first steps. Eventually I didn't and I fell back into myself and didn't come here anymore.
I was eventually toppled 2 years later by an even bigger wave in classic GID fashion. It's not just a phase where you plow through it for a month or a year that desolate battleground *is your future* it's what you sow and nurture now will be what you find tomorrow and there won't be any flowers if your shredding yourself with self-loathing.

I can only say I regret very deeply those two and abit years I lost, I can't forgive myself yet... it's especially difficult at times because the newest post-op girls whom have wonderful stories Well they started there journey in 2007 there abouts.

Whatever path you choose is right for you I truly hope from the bottom of my heart you never lament it as I did and live a wonderful life with many flowers in your future

Hi Megan

You are not weird and you must not put yourself down.  As others have said, only you can decide what your future will be.  It may be easy or it may be hard and this will depend on your own circumstances.

So you must ask yourself this question and only this question with no ifs or buts and without hesitation.  "Am I a male or female?"

Your answer, will tell you what you need to do.

Kind regards
Sarah B

If you can accept within yourself just being a guy, then by all means do it because you're absolutely right- transition is hard. Truthfully the only reason I think most of us do it is because life just becomes harder not to transition. I would have given up the dysphoria years ago if I could have, but the sad truth is I've never known what that elusive "normal" feels like. I've only ever known what it's like to be in the wrong body, and it royally sucks. Transitioning is my way of finally becoming normal. I hope it works out for you.

Quote from: FairyGirl on April 10, 2010, 07:33:54 PM
If you can accept within yourself just being a guy, then by all means do it because you're absolutely right- transition is hard. Truthfully the only reason I think most of us do it is because life just becomes harder not to transition. I would have given up the dysphoria years ago if I could have, but the sad truth is I've never known what that elusive "normal" feels like. I've only ever known what it's like to be in the wrong body, and it royally sucks. Transitioning is my way of finally becoming normal. I hope it works out for you.

Well this is an older thread to a newer thread where I was more accepting of transition, so now I am in between accepting and rejecting transition. Now it's really a question about money, since if I had a surplus amount of money to do this I would. But I would not do a half-fast job and get the cheapest surgeries from Ching Tie Woo, or get a FFS and then wait a few years for sex change.

I want to be happy, but maybe I can find a guy who will treat me feminine-like? That's probably really unrealistic though, since gay guys want guys inside and outside. Yet, I do not come across as gay at all, but I do not come across as extremely straight-masculine guy either.

But I accept myself, as of now, if I get some surgeries to make me feminine *natural* looking like an eyebrow lift and lip augmentation, and maybe a butt implant. Then I might go all the way lol.

Life sucks right now being broke... and I do have a job, it's just not enough time to do another job and do school at the same time.

 

Well in the UK the entire change can be, and indeed is, done by many people on the NHS for free.

Even in the US if you do only what is absolutely necessary to allow you to live comfortably as you wish you should be able to complete the job for less than $30,000.

Finally please don't knock Thailand - it may not be everyones choice. But the best surgeons in Thailand are unquestionably amongst the very best SRS surgeons in the world. That is a simple fact. It simply isn't up for debate. Yes there are also some awful cheapskate butchers shops, but you don't go to them. You go to the best Thai doctors and you get a top class result at a massive saving.

PS - Susans is a supportive community - whatever you say you have decided to do you will find people who will support that idea.

So if you post two contradictory threads you inevitably get two sets of different answers. The important thing, as I said before in the "other" thread, is to pick ONE solution and then stick with it long enough to see if it works. Otherwise as you have already conceded you may well be still on here aged sixty with an aging irredeemably make figure, no hair, and still no further on. Is that waht you want? Because if it isn't this is the wrong thread to be paying attention to!

Well I already made my decision, to get a therapist in May-June.

Well the original thread (since I edited it right after) was about me being weird, without including transition. But then it was way too personal for a forum, so I just edited to this.

Quote from: Megan on April 12, 2010, 02:09:05 PM
I want to be happy, but maybe I can find a guy who will treat me feminine-like? That's probably really unrealistic though, since gay guys want guys inside and outside. Yet, I do not come across as gay at all, but I do not come across as extremely straight-masculine guy either.

No, this is not at all unrealistic; I have known it done.  However, if he is not bisexual, you may lose the sexual/romantic component of your relationship in the course of your transition.

Be not so quick to relinquish hope; life has many surprises in store for you, and some are pleasant.

- N