Iv keep thinking about having a sex change amugst other things daily in theory i think having a sex change would be good but i dont know.How can you be sure its the right thing to do.

Iv never been out dressed as a woman as i didnt have the confidence but things have changed and hopefully this year i should be able to get in the position where i can live dressed as a woman full time.
Im half way though college and its possible i can get a job at the end of college then i can rent a  place of my own. Iv also been thinking of having laser treatment to remove my beard and other hair but if i do that theres no going back i mean hairloss is forever isnt it?.

i know if i had a sex change i will have problems with others but i dont care what other people think if people have a problem with me being a mtf then thats their problem not mine.

Hi, Tammygirl;

For me, and I think a lot of the TS/TG people here, 'have a sex change' misses the mark of what actually happens.  It's more of a shedding of an artificial personna to discover the true you.  This (it's called 'Transition',) is a process that takes at least around a year and a half, usually longer depending on the person, and Sexual Reassignment Surgery (SRS) doesn't happen until somewhere near the end.  And SRS is really 'the icing on the cake.'

So, please don't get ahead of yourself and put the cart before the horse, as it were.

I'd suggest your next step would be to find and join a local TG/TS support group.  They can help you explore these feelings.  Maybe you're totally satisfied with crossdressing, maybe you need 'the full monty' in order to find your happiness.  The support groups can also steer you towards local therapists, the next step in the journey, as well as a range of services that you will need to help your transformation.

I posted this reply with this little metaphor about the journey:

QuoteIn my minds' eye, I see our journeys as a mountain range with many peaks (different destinations/goals) and many trails in from 'civilization' to and between various goals.  A common journey seems to be following one of several trails to 'Mount CrossDress'.  Then, after exploring the neighborhood, the next sought goal, reached by several worn paths (and some new ones that are created as this or that intrepid traveller blazes a trail through the underbrush,) is the peak labeled 'Mount TeeGee'.  But this appears to be a mere waypoint for some who press on to 'Mount TeeEss' and beyond.  Other travellers have one of the farther goals in their sights from the first, and press on by several different but crisscrossing and interlocking routes -- some paths easy and some paths unexpectedly difficult.

While on the metaphor or journeys and climbing trails to reach goals, I'm reminded of a story I heard of a shrine high in the mountains of tibet (I don't know which one.) It is reached by a long, steep route that takes several days to navigate.  Many pilgrims make the journey, for the shrine has deep spiritual meaning to them.  Many tourists begin the journey, because it sounds like someplace they'd like to see.  Few tourists complete the journey and reach the shrine, because the rewards are not perceived to be worth the effort and risks the route entails.  Most pilgrims reach the shrine, because they know in their hearts that reaching the goal has value beyond the physical and mental cost of the journey, however great it may seem.  (For those curious about this little story, I believe it was in one of the Whole Earth Catalogs...)

Maybe it'll give you some more food for thought about whether the journey is right for you. 

Welcome to Susans!

Karen

P.S.,  Please stop by Introductions and post an introduction for all to read    And do check out the Terms of Service

I understand where your coming from but i think i neglected to say in my post that iv been thinking long and hard about this for about a year and a half now and i know that i would have to live as a woman full time for 2 years or more before i could have srs & or hrt but iv got alot more to figure out.I dont think im really ready for srs i think the social side of things is going to be really hard but in the 2 years that i would get used to it.Iv never been out as my fem self but i plan to before december i am going up north to meet some of my female friends and im going to dress up and go out with them and have a girls night out.They live 3 hours from my place so i will get a hotel up there and come back the next day.

its not just the social side come to think of it if have srs i cant have kids but iv never really wanted children anyway.

but before i can even think about srs i will have to get a job and a place of my own to live unless i talk to my parents tell them how i feel and if they are ok with it then i can stay living at home but they dont like me dressing as a woman so i think they wont like it if i was going to become a woman and have srs.

I also dont want to upset/hurt my parents either but i want to be happy and i feel that i cant be happy unless im my fem self.
as i said iv got alot to work out still but im sure things will work out.

All i know is that i wont be rushing in to it thats the last thing i will do.Im 23 and from the age of about 14 or 15 i started dressing up partualy then it developed in to more and iv battled with this all those years iv thought long and hard and iv acepted my fem self and that its not a bad thing ,i used to feel shamed when i first dressed up becuase i thought it was wrong becuase other people said it was wrong but iv learnt different.Last year was the first time that i got happy with buying my own womans clothes and make up n stuff and i got a full walldrobe full of clothes and i used to spent time alone as my fem self and it made me happy.
There was a time that i shut my fem self out and tried to ignore it that was really hard becuase every time i saw another woman or saw a clothes shop it reminded me of what i saw shutting out.

When i see girls i think how cool they look and look at the cool stuff they wear and wish i was like them i also long for a friend to do out with to have girly nights out and i found that friend and i couldnt be happier.

the past year and a half all i can think about is having a sex change.Its the first thing on my mind when i wake up and the last thing on my mind when i go to bed.

Hi Tammy,
Go with what your heart tells you.
That's all I have to say.

First of all, I don't know what you've done in terms of progress towards your transition, but thinking about it and starting to do something are 2 different things.  Therapy, as you probably are already well aware of, is the first step.  The thing is you need to take it one step at a time.

As for upsetting your parents, from what I remember, transition will do that.  It upset my parents and they still haven't calmed down about it.  I imagine one day they may start treating me with a little more respect, but until then I can't really do anything about it.  My point is, if something as minor as my parents being upset had stopped my transition in my tracks, I wouldn't be living as a woman right now.  In a way, it really was a non-issue, because the looming threat of death was so eminent and if I had listened to them, then I probably wouldn't be around today.

If I remember correctly, you are not currently living with them, so it's not like you're in danger of being kicked out, but obviously you know your situation far better than I do.  Anyways good luck.

Melissa

I want to start getting it sorted out monday but i dont know where to start as im in england i think i would have to start by going to my GP the therapists and counsellors here in england dont work the same as in america.

Quote from: tammygirl2 on October 19, 2006, 05:11:46 PM
I want to start getting it sorted out monday but i dont know where to start as im in england i think i would have to start by going to my GP the therapists and counsellors here in england dont work the same as in america.

I know they don't.  I don't know how fast you are planning your transition.  If you are willing to go through a lot of rigermarole and have very little money, you can see if there is a gender clinic nearby.  I don't know how far away from Charring Cross you are, as I believe that's one of the biggest ones over there.  Think you need a referral from a GP and either another GP or Psych to get into their program.  then they make you wait forever until they accept you.  Honestly, it really is a bummer transitioning over there, buut at least you can get your gender marker changed much easier.  See, I do know something about the UK.

Melissa

Hi tammy
To travel the less travelled road, right?  or is it the road less travelled.  As anyone who's transitioned will tell you its one heckuva process and requires a lot of committment, psychologically, physically, emotionally, financially, and so on. 
My funadmental beliefs and decicions are based on a few things, cause of this  i decided years ago not to transition.  That has not stopped the daily horror of waking up in the wrong body and the daily tortures of being a woman in mans frame!  18 hours is a long stretch between sleeps!
That aside my fears with transition is a few folded:
1.  I would not know truly if it is what i would need to be happy until it was done or final and then what if it did not do what i expected it to do?
2.  And being somewhat of a perfectionist or wanting it right 100% then would it be right?  My first choice would be to have been born properly, not necessarily to surgically try and cut away and add to match the exterior with the interior?. Our medical technology is good but not as good as i'd want.
3.   did some researching into it and all that..  Male pattern baldness (i shave my head as a guy which is okay though low maintenance doo- wigs work easier if dressing up?) I am aside from that very hairy, so electrolysis would be expensive and a nightmare....  My build is lean or just under normal body build I have enough discipline to be able to thin down (I'm a lean sporty weight of 163-165 during season while staying active)or whatever, but my arms are slightly longer for my 5'7" hieght, a lot of men have that issue.  I also have broad shoulders or broader shoulders for my frame size.  Broad shouldered guy in a dress screams man in a dress!!!
4. My situation with my immediate family.
5.  financial situation (although this not the #1 excuse cause it can be done progressively, but my change would of been high maintenance and expensive!)
so when looking at transitioning there were a lot of factors and the biggest ones that jump out to me are the body type-hair type-build that i am and obsessiveness about wanting a perfect body (perfect in sense of natural born perfect)
6.  at the time 10 years ago i thought my career would of been an issue older and wiser now being a chef would of been easier i think than some jobs???  who would of knew?
Anyway you're brave for sharing your thoughts and trying to do what you want to to try and be happy i wish you the best of luck whatever you decide!
R

I do know all that is involved in srs iv researched it alot and i have thought about (what if i get the change and im not happy or it ruins my life) but im wiling to take that risk and i know i may have to wait for many years but if im lucky i might have it donbe before im 30.
I can get my hair removed perminatly for £90 using a laser.

All i know is that i cant really face life living as a man anymore.im not bothered what other people think of me while im out thats their problem.

I dont see why i should stay a male just becuase others may think its not the norm.I still will have to live as a woman for 2 years before the op and after all the psychologically stuff i might not decided to go ahead but atleast i would have explored my options.
if i didnt try get the op that i want i will never know and then i will have to live withmyself keep asking the same question over and over in myhead (What if i did have the sex change i wanted and lived a happy and better life etc).

If i dont decided to go for the op after i gone through the psychologically stuff then atleast i would have explored my options and atleast i can still dress fem.

I do live near charing cross so i could go there and explore that option and i intend too.
I know it could take long but i will try.I will start by going to my gp early next week and talking to him.

Tammy I think that's great and I hope you have good experiences and changes ahead.    I'm definately in support of whatever it is that will make you whole or feel good or be right in your own eyes!
As for me I laid out my puzzle or at least the framework!
Good luck hope to see or hear about your progress as it goes
R