Hi i'm new here,and soon to be know as Lee,Nicky,or Nicole.I'm leaning towards Lee cause it's my middle name and I've always wanted to go by it instead of name that I go by now.I've always had a feeling that I was not complete or something,like i'm being held back from being me.Well to start off with my story I'm going tell you the first time that i can remember the feelings and urges that i've kept bottled up for so
long.It starts at age five when my older sister would dress me up and put makeup on me for fun,and play with dolls with
her.As time went by she would play less and less like that and I would ask to play dress up or play with her toys and not
mine.My sister and family was wreided out by my fascination with girl stuff,so i keep my urges to my self. Years pasted and i always found my self looking at my sister and her friends and wishing i was like her,a girl that is.Then one day my sister left her hot pink swim suit out in the bath room no one could see me in there so put it on it felt so nice i watched my self in the mirror and pertended that i was a girl.I did this every chance I had,and then i would do things like try to shave my legs like my sis would do,while having the hot pink swimwear on.I felt so good,I had to have that feeling more so I worn into my room on day,playing with it on and pertending to be a girl.But then my Mom tried to come in,but the door was locked.I was not aloud to have the door locked so she was mad but I didn't know what to
do.So i unlocked the door and jump in bed with the covers over top of
me.mom walked in and asked why the door was locked and then asked why I was in bed cause it was the middle of the day.I had the covers up to my chin to hide what i was wearing but she know something was up so she made pull the covers down.While she freaked out and run to get my dad.i was so hurt and embarrassed I took it off and tried to hide
it.My parents came i to my room and yeild at me for it and kept asking things like why would i do something like that,and i was to young to really know the answers for what they where asking.They had a family meeting and told every one what i did,then every one started asking questions about me and why this and why
that.My sister and mom told everyone they could think of about what i did and how wrong it was and that there's somehting wrong with
me.It lasted for years,them watching everything i did,cause they tought i like boys or
something.It put me into a depression all growing and I put on a lot of weight.All growing up i had long shiny hair and people would always miss take me for a girl from the back side,and sometimes from the front when i was young.All growing up i envied girls for being just what they were a girl thats all.I like girls don't get me wrong but i also want to be a girl to.When i got into my twentys i moved out and got my own place.I made a decision to change my life around so i started working out and eating right.I lost 130 pounds over a summer I felt good but there was still something missing.Getting smaller just made me want to be a women even more.I ended up meeting a girl throw a friend next door.we have been together for three years now and were going to get married
soon.It was like lightning we dove right in,we moved in together only knowing eachother for a few weeks.I didn't know it at the time and neither did she but she's Bi-sexaul,she loves to go to stripe clubs and make out with them while i watch.I get so mad because she injoys it so much cause i want to be the girl making out with her.But i let her have her cravings.We have always be open with eachother but i've always been afraid to tell her that I don't want to be a man,I've always wanted to a women.Until a few weeks ago we went shoping for a holloween costum for her to wear cause were going to a rock conert on holloween and she wants to dress the part as a hooker.I got up the never and said joking;Why don't I go as one to joking.She didn't mind at all nut she said there be a lot of people there were meeting up
with.So i said never mind.But it opend the door to her it all from the begining,she thinks its sexy and wants me to be happy and be my self even if it means becomeing a women.We do every thing together already,but as a male and female couple,we both can't wait to do this.She's so turned on by this that all we have been doing is having sex all the time and hardly even sleeping cause so much of it.Telling her has benn the best thing to ever happen to me.We are like to shcool girls talking about cloths and make up all the time.She loves the idea of helping me do this.Shes taking me out this weekend to get some make up and underwear to help me along me transformation.
But what I need help with is the trannsformation ya she can help pick out makeup and show me how to use it but she don't know anything how to make a man turn into a women.Thats where i need all the help i can get.What to get, what to do first, whats the best steps to take to become a women.I'm going all the way with this,I know it will take years for me to become a true women but it's all worth it,I'll do anything to get my goal.
So all the insight will be a great help and if anyone knows doc.s to go to about this would be a big help,I live in southwest Ohio area,and would like to find someone local to go to.
Thanks so much for reading all of this,I know it's long, but I'm so exicted.Hope to hear from you all later...
