So, it's offically been 90 days on HRT. I saw my endocrinologist on Wednesday and he increased my dosage to the full normal amount. I've been thinking that there have not been any real noticeable changes to me so far, but some recent events have made me reconsider that notion.

Compared to the previous 25 years of my life, I have encountered more negative events in the past two weeks:
- Racism
- Sexism
- Poor Customer Service
- Women with attitude

It's rather upsetting and frustrating to be treated like an incompetent fool.  I feel like the "respect" clock has been turned back 8 years. It's like I'm getting the respect that I got from people when I was like 18. This will take some time to get used to.

With that in mind, I'm thinking that the hormones have softened and brightened up my skin to make me look younger than I think I look. With the addition of major beard reduction through LHR. I don't look feminine, but just younger. Not only that, I just realized today I can't sing deep like Elvis anymore. All this combined is coming in as a shocker because the changes in reality seem to be happening really fast. It's taking a little longer to register in my head.

My endocrinologist said one thing very sternly though on Wednesday: I should be setting a transition date. I think he's on the ball with that one.

Quote from: tatiana on April 10, 2010, 06:06:58 PM
My endocrinologist said one thing very sternly though on Wednesday: I should be setting a transition date. I think he's on the ball with that one.

I don't think it should be your endocrinologists decision to decide as and when you want to transition. You should take things at your own pace keeping in mind the limitations of HRT and the transitioning process.

Quote from: Naturally Blonde on April 11, 2010, 06:34:41 AM
I don't think it should be your endocrinologists decision to decide as and when you want to transition. You should take things at your own pace keeping in mind the limitations of HRT and the transitioning process.

I agree with NB, its you choice not theirs. Transition is not just about the affects of HRT. its a whole package of becoming you. In reality there are several considerations to take into account as to when you transition these very from people to people and country to country. These include, finances (it is expensive), job, support network, relationships, age, etc.

You need to work on a plan for transition.

Stardust

I forgot when I re-started hormones. . . but I still don't think there's TOO many changes for me too.

I just think you have to notice the small little victories in transition.  Softer skin, decreased sex drive, breast buds, etc. 

And I agree with above I don't think your endo should tell you these things hehe.  I was / still am the biggest slacker of transition and I have never made any sort of plan and just sort of gone with the pace of everything.  I think some people love to be prepared and know everything though so if you're one of the planning types then I can see how it can be beneficial

Sounds to me like the endo was saying in effect, get off the fence and choose already. I don't see the endo saying pick a day next week or something.

He may be asking if you have a plan for transition, i had a plan A which called for me going full time and name change this May, due to getting ma'am'd all the time beginning May 2009 my therapist agreed with me i should go full time sooner, i abandoned plan A and went to plan B which called for me going full time and name change by the end of 2009, i actually beat this by one month.

In my plans were loose time lines of when i wanted to tell friends, family and work, and i pretty much kept to my time line.

Three months in and just upped to a transitioning dose, you probably did not have much in the way of changes but you should start seeing and feeling changes in a few weeks, a year after starting hormones i was really seeing the changes in my face and body when i looked in the mirror, now after almost 2 years the changes are unmistakable, you and those that see you everyday will not notice much for around 6 months, but people that have not seen you in a few months will.

Paula

I am having a little bit of trouble... I am sitting on the fence. I just don't know when I'll change enough to the point. He did say that I'd probably be able to pass in any gender I wanted to present myself in so I can decide when to transition. Perhaps that adds to the frustration because I just don't know when would be a good time.

Today, I put on some makeup and I look totally like a guy in every way. Some days, I just want to hide in a hole and not come out for several years when the changes have occured. It's frustrating not to be able to go on with your life, but you're just waiting... waiting... and waiting. Perhaps the fact is that real problems don't really get resolved, but you find work arounds. I guess I just need to adapt to this situation a little better.

Quote from: tatiana on April 13, 2010, 01:24:39 AM
I am having a little bit of trouble... I am sitting on the fence. I just don't know when I'll change enough to the point. He did say that I'd probably be able to pass in any gender I wanted to present myself in so I can decide when to transition. Perhaps that adds to the frustration because I just don't know when would be a good time.

Today, I put on some makeup and I look totally like a guy in every way. Some days, I just want to hide in a hole and not come out for several years when the changes have occured. It's frustrating not to be able to go on with your life, but you're just waiting... waiting... and waiting. Perhaps the fact is that real problems don't really get resolved, but you find work arounds. I guess I just need to adapt to this situation a little better.

Everyone goes through this.

I still go through this all the time.  I always see my male self in everything and I think I'm a failure, can't pass, going to be a man in a dress cliche, etc.  Just, there's a ton more than looks that matter in your passing.  Voice, mannerisms, walking, etc.  Almost everyone tends to figure it out in the end.  Just don't mull around and play some waiting game or it's going to drive you insane (first hand experience before lol). 

I really don't think a lot has changed over hormones, just became a lot more comfortable with who I am.  Who knows though, maybe I'm in the minority.  Just don't worry. . . 3 months is not long as all.  You'll probably end up fine.  So think about the end and figure out a way to master everything else along the way to that!

Wrote to my Doctor today to start formal transition.   It has taken me thirty years to do this and the letter to my Doctor has sat on my desktop for nearly two years.   I am not sure when the size of the step I have taken will sink in.   I have always suffered from severe nervousness regarding transition.   I have always known that I need to do it but up and until now I have lacked the strength.

Finally, I am on my way.

Quote from: shanetastic on April 13, 2010, 01:30:24 AM
Everyone goes through this.

Good to know that I'm not alone in thinking this. It always feels like you're the only lone person going through this stuff.

Think it's just been a lousy couple weeks. Small changes are happening, but kind of hard to gauge how long the road to transition would be. Think I'm becoming a little more emotional that I realize too. *shrugs*

Just chugging along.

Quote from: Pippa on April 13, 2010, 08:05:14 AM
Wrote to my Doctor today to start formal transition.

Pippa, congrats on making a step forward toward the direction you want to go! It's a tough journey for all of us, glad you found the strength. =D

tatiana

Please dont be concerned. I started HRT 8 months ago and I am 20 years old now. After the first three-five months I was like...are you serious? This is it? The changes seemed very minimal but they werent. It happens so slowly over time that you wont even believe how you somehow dipped into the female spectrum with how your face looks but it will happen. It takes alot more time then you think so just be patient and dont give up! The proof will be when people start avoiding using gender pronouns around you because they arent sure if you are male or female. As you continue HRT, she will be heard tons more and more as time goes on.