I had a conversation about my transition today with someone who has, in his own slightly inept way, been very supportive of me. It's not something I generally talk about, but there was a particular reason for it today. During our conversation, he mentioned that he had recently (and by complete coincidence) spoken to a therapist who works with gender issues, and that the therapist had been able to speak about trans issues much more eloquently, not only because of his knowledge and familiarity, but also because of the language he used, the words, the vocabulary. My friend had a great deal of trouble even talking to me (for example, about other people he knew about dealing with the same issue I had), without tripping over his words.
Coming up with clear words that effectively express what we need them to express in some way that feels natural helps us if only because it helps our allies. Changing minds is important, but we can't do enough of that alone. We absolutely need allies. And we need to give them the words that they can feel comfortable using in repeating the message.
We have a serious problem with the ways we describe gender-variant people of any sort, including the most binary-identified ones, whose history at least is certainly gender-variant in the perception of the broader culture. It's always easier (linguistically speaking) for the bigots, but we need to give our allies a fighting chance. The old words fail, not because of the connotations bigots have attempted to attach to them, but because they don't feel natural to our allies.
As I've mentioned above, I like "trans" as an umbrella term. I also "gender-variant" and "gender-variant identities" as an even broader umbrella, to include even people who don't necessarily identify as trans in any way, but transgress the bounds of societal gender roles. For specific people, descriptive phrases, especially verb phrases: "she transitioned when she was twenty"; "he is not medically transitioning; only socially"; "he sometimes wears pleather miniskirts to parties"; "she is not trans-identified, but her sexuality is very masculine."
These are all things I've actually said about people I know. I'm not being not catchy; just clear, respectful, precise, concise, and stylistically simple. Okay, perhaps I'm overstating my case. In any case, those are things we should be looking for in how we discuss trans issues. For that reason, I'm not really sold at all on the various neologisms floating around.