It'll be a long road, won't it? This isn't an angry post but I want to type it up and this is the section for complaints that can't be solved.

Nobody sees me as a male. Well, there are people that do but I only care about a few people. And those are the people who I will have the hardest time with. I don't think my father even understands that I consider myself male, and will still occasionally even call me "girl" which pisses me off more than he knows. But I'm not comfortable telling him, I'd rather do so farther along. When I look more male and it will be easier to accept for him since as he sees me, I am the same. And I haven't really changed much except that I think of myself as a male (formerly I did not, one of my biggest doubt-causing facts.)

My mom's cool though, and it's really nice to have her as an ally (a powerful one, not a fun enemy to have.)

Yeah, pretty freakishly annoying not to be seen as who you are by folk, especially 'rents. I guess it's one of those crossovers between 'not knowing any better' and 'not wanting to know any better'. Things will get harder, things will get easier, I suppose best thing is to focus on the 'easier' and 'better' parts in the future. Ah, and I definitely demand a celebrating thread if your dad ever calls you 'son' or 'boy'.

I came out to my mum last year but made the mistake of telling her that at age 69 i didn't expect her to make the switch over to calling me Alex straight away and i'd understand if she still called me my female name after 38 years of doing so. She put Alex into my birthday card which i was really touched by but now its like we never had the conversation about me being male and its doing my head in but can't say anything to her. Then theres the others that know why i've changed my name but still call me 'she' or 'her' and part of me wants to scream 'have you actually listened to a thing i've said' but i don't and it all just builds up inside

I likened it to feeling like I was screaming inside my head "Why can't you see me?" and realizing I was in reality being silent.

screaming inside is a good description. and its getting louder and louder and i'm getting fed up of pretending that everything is ok and that i understand why people don't get it and all i want is for someone just to see ME

Quote from: no_id on April 16, 2010, 05:15:53 AM
Yeah, pretty freakishly annoying not to be seen as who you are by folk, especially 'rents. I guess it's one of those crossovers between 'not knowing any better' and 'not wanting to know any better'. Things will get harder, things will get easier, I suppose best thing is to focus on the 'easier' and 'better' parts in the future. Ah, and I definitely demand a celebrating thread if your dad ever calls you 'son' or 'boy'.

Yeah, I don't want to stress them out by pushing it on him. It will come in time, I think. And there probably will be one, but that's a way off.

Quote from: al james on April 16, 2010, 12:48:03 PM
I came out to my mum last year but made the mistake of telling her that at age 69 i didn't expect her to make the switch over to calling me Alex straight away and i'd understand if she still called me my female name after 38 years of doing so. She put Alex into my birthday card which i was really touched by but now its like we never had the conversation about me being male and its doing my head in but can't say anything to her. Then theres the others that know why i've changed my name but still call me 'she' or 'her' and part of me wants to scream 'have you actually listened to a thing i've said' but i don't and it all just builds up inside

I guess others will probably do that. Well, I'll probably end up needing new friends anyway once this goes public. At least my parents are younger than that, and I think they are open minded enough. They believe me.

Quote from: LordKAT on April 16, 2010, 12:51:04 PM
I likened it to feeling like I was screaming inside my head "Why can't you see me?" and realizing I was in reality being silent.

That's pretty accurately how it feels. Must ignore momentary anger. But there will be a better time to insist on it and the time is not now.

I agree that timing in ending the silence is wise. I also know that if you put it off too long, you die or want to. Be careful in whatever your decisions are in life.