Speaking of peeing...this story is a little weird, I guess, but when I was six or seven, my father taught me to pee standing up. I pretty much had to straddle the bowl, but it was pretty cool nonetheless.

I'm not sure what precipitated this event. Had I been bugging him about it, or was it one of those occasional inexplicable weird moments between us?

Guess I'll never know.

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Post Merge: April 18, 2010, 05:00:35 PM

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Quote from: Ryan on April 18, 2010, 03:08:19 PM
I LOVED being shirtless. I would go out and play around the estate in nothing but my shorts.

Sigh. I used to love it, too, till my mother realized why I liked it so much. She put a stop to it when I was seven, maybe eight. I like to think that my father would have reasoned with her, but he was out of the house at that time.

Harlee - I did the tucking hair inside hats thing too. I wasn't allowed to cut my hair, even as a teenager...there were times when I thought of just hacking it all off myself with sewing scissors, but I never had the guts.

And peeing...God, I think the first obviously "trans" thing I remember doing was trying to pee through various tubular objects. Age five or six, I think.

Quote from: kyril on April 18, 2010, 05:34:48 PM
Harlee - I did the tucking hair inside hats thing too. I wasn't allowed to cut my hair, even as a teenager...there were times when I thought of just hacking it all off myself with sewing scissors, but I never had the guts.

I didn't cut my hair short because my mother told me I'd look terrible (and I never had the courage to say 'I'm doing what I WANT' because I believed her that no one would respect me unless I looked feminine). So instead, I always, always wore it in a ponytail. That way, at least from the front, it almost looked like I had short hair. I didn't even realize why I hated wearing it down until recently.

I think that might be why cutting my hair shorter than it's ever been felt really liberating to me. Even if how it's cut now isn't that masculine, it's more masculine, and I wear it down-- which means I can actually show myself instead of feeling like I was forced to put it up just to stay teetering on the "feminine" side of things.

Quote from: brainiac on April 18, 2010, 05:39:20 PM
I didn't cut my hair short because my mother told me I'd look terrible (and I never had the courage to say 'I'm doing what I WANT' because I believed her that no one would respect me unless I looked feminine). So instead, I always, always wore it in a ponytail. That way, at least from the front, it almost looked like I had short hair. I didn't even realize why I hated wearing it down until recently.

I think that might be why cutting my hair shorter than it's ever been felt really liberating to me. Even if how it's cut now isn't that masculine, it's more masculine, and I wear it down-- which means I can actually show myself instead of feeling like I was forced to put it up just to stay teetering on the "feminine" side of things.

I am/was *exactly* the same way.

Quote from: brainiac on April 18, 2010, 05:39:20 PM
I didn't cut my hair short because my mother told me I'd look terrible (and I never had the courage to say 'I'm doing what I WANT' because I believed her that no one would respect me unless I looked feminine). So instead, I always, always wore it in a ponytail. That way, at least from the front, it almost looked like I had short hair. I didn't even realize why I hated wearing it down until recently.

I think that might be why cutting my hair shorter than it's ever been felt really liberating to me. Even if how it's cut now isn't that masculine, it's more masculine, and I wear it down-- which means I can actually show myself instead of feeling like I was forced to put it up just to stay teetering on the "feminine" side of things.

Awww really! I only had it cut to my shoulders for years. It was only recently that I faked the day home sick from school, and rode my bike to get my hair cut without parental permission! Oh I was in trouble, but oh I wanted it so badly done! Mind you the ride was a tough one But worth it in my eyes!

Quote from: kyril on April 18, 2010, 05:34:48 PM
Harlee - I did the tucking hair inside hats thing too. I wasn't allowed to cut my hair, even as a teenager...there were times when I thought of just hacking it all off myself with sewing scissors, but I never had the guts.

Something Mum rarely lets me live down is that, when I was little (I don't even remember this), I did cut it off myself! She had to tidy it up to a more respectable haircut - good job she has some hairdressing skills.

Also, I just got an email back from Dad. He actually said he feels more comfortable calling me Sam as a bloke than he ever did using my female name. Just goes to show, huh?

Mine were all to do with my make-believe worlds.  I was always the boy characters.  Was never interested in girly games or dolls but liked cars and animal toys.  Mostly though I was extremely imaginative and used to pretend to be anything but me.  Animals and male characters usually.  I also had a massive phobia of the thought that women had babies.  When girls would talk to me about marriage or having kids of their own I just said having children was killing the environment (yes a 7 year old hippy!) and said I would never, ever do that.

There wasn't too much during my teens actually, I think when I hit puberty I just tried to follow the crowd.  But when my mum had a hysterectomy I said to her that I wished they could do that to me.  I started fancying boys when I was in my teens so I figured that I had to be just like everyone else after all.  But the fantasising about not being in a female body didn't stop.  It wasn't until years of trying out different types of relationships and getting all upset about sex that I realised for sure that I am trans. 

I was never allowed to cut my hair short so I literally wore it in a ponytail until I was allowed to cut it when I was about 16. Then every time I got a haircut it just got shorter and shorter lol.

In make believe(which I always hated anyways) the other kids would always instinctively put me in male roles. When I played with my sister I was always the dad or the brother.

I also loved walking around with no shirt on.

Mine started around 4.  I cut all my hair off, refused to wear girls clothes, and I wouldn't let anyone call me by my birthname.  I went by a males name all through elementary school and Jr high.  I had my first girlfriend when I was 7, in first grade. My case was very clear growing up.  Around high school I tried to deny it and change a little bit, but I couldn't.  I felt really weird in girls clothes, almost like I was doing something wrong when I was wearing them.  So through high school i pretty much wore basketball shorts and hoodies everyday, but I did have long hair.  After I graduated is when i really started realizing who I was and accepting myslef for who I was.  But yes, I did have very obvious signs at a very young age.

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Post Merge: April 19, 2010, 10:55:17 AM

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I forgot I had this. I put this video together a while ago with some pics of me when I was really young. It shows "early signs" I guess you would say.

I guess the earliest sign was in my dreams when I was a kid, I used to be He-Man. LOL  Then when I was about 10 I fantasied about being a guy even when I was awake. In my teens I was very tomboy and proud of it. I used to get called he/she all the time and didn't mind one bit.

When I had stuffed animals.. I would give them a name and a gender.  I would always make them 'boys'  I didn't want them to have to be females, because I thought that that was bad, and they wouldn't have to be girls, because it was better to be a boy.

During my school years I always wanted to go by my middle name (O'Neil) I had always liked it better.. now that I look back, maybe its because it is a male name.

For halloween, once I was old enough to make my own costumes I was almost always a guy character, peter pan, the grim reaper, frodo baggins, harry potter.. I thought that boys were better.. and 'why would anyone want to dress like a girl, when girls are stupid and inferior, why be a girl when u can be a boy' (I think im sexist.. even as a kid lol)

I used to slick my hair back, like those formal dudes with long hair, who mouse it back, I would do that with my hair and sneak up on my family and startle them with how boyish I looked.

I know there are more signs I just cant think of them.

I didnt realize I was trans until last summer, so Im a late bloomer too.

Quote from: Nemo on April 19, 2010, 05:27:50 AM
Also, I just got an email back from Dad. He actually said he feels more comfortable calling me Sam as a bloke than he ever did using my female name. Just goes to show, huh?

Sweet.

I did some of the crap you guys did with one major exception. Remember the times. Anyway, my parent cut my hair above my ears every year until jn high school sometime. I haven't cut it since. Well, I did a couple major trims tho, I cut 2 feet off a month back.

I remember rejecting the idea when I was a kid, that when people said, "you're a tomboy" I knew I was more than just a tomboy but couldn't explain why, and if I did, I got beat.

When I was in 4th grade, I started bringing my more androgynous clothes to school in my backpack and changing out of what my mom dressed me in before school, then changing back before my mom picked me up. One day my mom had to come to the office for some reason and I was sent down there, and she saw what I was wearing. Immediately made me leave and beat me for that, too. Wtf? That didn't stop me from expressing my hatred of my given gender though.

I played with the boys whenever I could during recess. I still remember playing kickball, and feeling like in that moment, they accepted me. That was until we hit middle school and the divide between boy/girl began...

I always yearned to play rough and tumble sports. I wanted to play football so bad, and seriously envied a girl who got to play in the community, middle school, and high school team...my mom wouldn't let me. I wonder to this day if that person was like me.

I still remember the feeling of a shirt against my flat chest. When my g'ma got her mastectomy, I told her she could have my boobs. I was 8. I didn't have any yet, but I was already dreading them.

I was pretty androgynous as a kid...though whenever I role-played it was always a cowboy or another male character. If I was with friends that wouldn't let me get away with that, (such as being forced to play house) I would insist on being the dog. I absolutely refused to play the 'mom' or sister or whatever...and if my friends wanted to 'marry' me to another friend, I made some excuse to go home. Hated dresses and any girlish clothes, and my mother always had to fight with me to do my hair or anything for school pictures. Beside all this, I was never really gender-aware until puberty...I was just tom-boyish and content to do my own thing.  Puberty was when I really realized something was 'wrong' with me, because things weren't changing the way they were supposed to.
Had a few bouts of curiosity about ->-bleeped-<- over the years, but it's only recently that I realized it applied to me, and I wasn't just some unidentifiable freak.    Crazy? Yeah. Alone? Thankfully not!

Quote from: Osiris on April 17, 2010, 09:11:40 PMMy mom would say things like "girls don't go out with their shirts off. Look at me I keep my shirt on when I go out" and I'd get really upset saying I didn't have boobs and I shouldn't have to keep my shirt on.

Hmm. Maybe my Mom was different than most but she didn't mind at all letting my sisters and I run around topless- even outside- when we were younger. I guess her thoughts were if there are no boobs than it's O.K. But... my youngest sister had a tendency to not go topless but go bottomless.

As for my first memory I really don't remember. I identified as a male at such a young age I don't remember a defining moment... it just was.

Ever since I was little i'd always try and play with the boys, they had nicer toys then I did although I did have an action man lol, the boys didn't really want a girl hanging around them so I was stuck with the girls mostly but whenever I could i'd be doing 'boy' stuff. I was always a shy kid so I spent alot of time in my imaginary worlds and I was always male in them. Also not sure how old I was but I went around singing that Shania Twain song Man I feel like a Woman with a friend but instead of woman we changed it to man, my friend just found it funny but I really meant it.

I made my first packer at the age of 4.

I liked to run around shirtless too.  I remember getting caught when I went swimming and got into so much trouble.

Oddly enough, I really liked having long hair.

I did hate wearing skirts and eventually refused to wear them to church in my teens.

I HATED puberty.  It was horrible.  I was the first person in my class to grow the dreaded chest appendages.   

I never did the whole packing/peeing standing up thing.  I have three sisters, so I had no idea penises existed for the first decade or so of my life.  I did cry the day I got my first period, though and I've always hated my boobs.  Even while I was going through my "try to force myself to be girly" phase I hated them and I was known to wear a sports bra with my choral gown because I could never stand underwires and how prominant they make the chesticles.

I feel a bit left out. I never had an urge to go shirtless, but I've always been a chubby person. I hit puberty at 9 due to this fact and it was only then that things started to go a bit off track.

I had always been a bit more tomboyish, but I wore what I was given and didn't pay much heed to it all. In 5th grade, age 10, it was all uniforms and I wore polos and khaki pants. It was awesome. Then a girl I knew since kindergarten mentioned that I needed to wear a bra and I held off on that for as long as I could, which I think was about the end of that school year. That year was also when I realised that I liked girls and I didn't know if that really meant anything. I asked a friend and she told me it meant I was a lesbian and I still didn't really know what to think of it.

From then on everyone just sort of cast me out, or at least the followers of society did. I had a few select friends, typically boys, and I just survived from then on. It wasn't until about my sophmore year that things took a more male turn I guess. Legs I stopped caring about in middle school, but my mom continued to try and make me look feminine. So here I was in 10th grade, finally denying my mother of her feminine fancies and taking hold of my own appearance. This is all purely physical since I've basically been taking on a more male dress since I was in 5th grade.

I never really thought of myself as male specifically. I had seen different trans things, but never thought that I'd be in such a position. Does that make me strange? Sometimes I feel like maybe I'm a big phony, but I honestly believe that there is no other option. I am male. I cannot see myself continuing on in life as a woman in however a masculine role/appearance. It just doesn't click.

There are some things I relate to.  I can relate with is seeing myself as a boy whenever I thought of myself in the future or was pretending. I played with boy toys all the time, especially with my two close cousins who were boys. I loved video games, even to this day. I think that's about it. I've always been rather masculine though, acting tough, wanting to be muscular, I had times of practicing binding and packing. That's about it I think.

So that's my story. Sorry if I went off a bit from the whole point of the thread and/or made a very long post.