So, today in Starbucks, Mary asks me, "Hey Ann, have you got a tampon?"  I must have stood there with the most shocked look on my face for several moments, till I simply shook my head, no.  This is the second friend to ask, but one of many times it's happened.  Does anyone know like, the best kind of tampon to buy?  Next time I have a friend in need, I'd like to at least do her the service of not providing some cheap dollar store junk.

The other thing that's bothering me is she also commented that as long as she's known me, and even lived with me, she's never seen me PMS.  Once again, I'm struck clueless.  What are you supposed to say, without giving yourself away?  Am I supposed to get a lot of chocolate one week a month and sleep in pinestraw the same week so I'll be a total bitch as well?

It seems the further one gets in, the stranger things get.

Haha! That's funny.

Don't worry about the PMS stuff, not every woman gets pissy around that time.

Tampax is fine. You should be able to get one of those small boxes with about ten tampons. The box should last you a long time if you only carry around a couple of units for other gals in need.

If someone comments on your lack of PMS, just say that you've never had a problem with it. Some women just don't.

When I was, you know, fertile that way, I didn't have PMS. I had nasty periods, but never PMS.

what arch said
jessica

Lilets or Tampax.

Personally I think Lilets are better. Lilets have a handy little applicator too which makes using them easier.

(for various reasons way too complex to explain here I have very occasionally had to use one, which is why I know...)

I think putting two and two together about that and the comments about pms you friend has put 2 and 2 together and was using that as a polite "test" to figure out if her suspicions about you are right. Some people can be very tactful.

Quote from: rejennyrated on April 22, 2010, 02:26:56 AM
I think putting two and two together about that and the comments about pms you friend has put 2 and 2 together and was using that as a polite "test" to figure out if her suspicions about you are right. Some people can be very tactful.

Could be. The remark about PMS struck me as odd, but I didn't see this possibility. I thought it was strange because, first, tons of women don't get PMS; and second, I would have expected the friend to ask a question and say, "Don't you ever get PMS?" instead of comment that she had never seen any PMS symptoms. But then, some women seem to think that everyone has PMS.

A lot of us trans folks do seem to be paranoid about every little thing. I was at a luncheon a couple of weeks ago, and the conversation turned to trans stuff. Our host had lots of positive things to say about trans people, specifically about a trans guy who works at the local LGBT center. Then another man said something similar. Later, after everyone else had left, I found myself in the living room with those same two guys, and the trans topic came up again but with a different focus. I kept wondering if at least one of these men was giving me an opening. But I think it was just coincidence.

I've been meaning to carry something on me just because of that. That reminds me, I suppose.

To be honest I'm thinking I'll just say I have really rare, irregular periods. A friend's girlfriend has them only about once a year, she's got a hormone imbalance.

How do periods on hormonal BC really work, anyway?

It's a very good idea if you are wanting to cover your tracks...

Fortunately, (or not), I have genuinely had occasion to need a tampon or a pad on the odd occassion - (it's a long story...) so I always do carry a couple in my bag anyway and there is a big box of them in the bathroom at home too. (for which the odd visiting woman has been most grateful.)

...and Arch - yes I think it may indeed have been their way of creating an "opening," but the nice thing about people who are tactful like that is that if you don't want to take the opening and fess up they mostly take the hint, let it drop and let you preserve your anonymity.

Welcome to the club  Tampax should be fine. I've had friends who know about my trans past ask me before, and then actually ask me about my period or ask me questions about periods and if this or that is normal, and if I've ever experienced such and such period (they forgot about my trans past, believe it or not... happens often, actually. I usually don't remind them, although. ).

As for PMS, I get that majorly. It's noticeable with me. It can very girl to girl about PMS (trans or not). I know girls that get really, really nasty, others who hide, others who cry, or get angry and cry at the same time, or really, not much happens. I also know a lot of women who don't have periods, or have very irregular periods, or regular periods. Not every woman has tampoons in their purse, either (thus, they ask around).

What's worse, for some reason I start synching with women who have periods around me, too (ones I live with). At one time, I lived with 3 other women -- think 4 women being PMSy all at the same time. It wasn't a pretty picture.

My newest roomie and I have been roomies for about 3 months, and we've just started synching up. o_0 Her poor boyfriend (who also lives with is). LOL

O.B. is the tampon I used when I used 'em.
They have a cute little carry box now, you can get it as a free trial apparently.

Could you not just say, 'Sorry, I don't have periods.'?

It's the way you were born. You've seen a Dr and there is nothing that can be done to change it.

No, sadly, you will never get pregnant.

I'm just making this point because it seems that carrying tampons so you can give 'a spare' to a friend is just being dishonest.

You were born a woman. You had some problems but sadly, the pleasures of monthly inconvienence and the ouch of child birth are somethings you will not enjoy.

All perfectly honest. You only need to give anyone as much information as you choose.

Quote from: Arch on April 22, 2010, 02:55:40 AMThe remark about PMS struck me as odd, but I didn't see this possibility. I thought it was strange because, first, tons of women don't get PMS; and second, I would have expected the friend to ask a question and say, "Don't you ever get PMS?" instead of comment that she had never seen any PMS symptoms.

I've had women ask me before do I ever or why don't I get PMS or have PMS symptoms (way before transition). Maybe some women are just jealous?

Inoutallabout, it sounds to me like it was just innocent conversations about girl stuff. I wouldn't worry.

Quote from: Arch on April 22, 2010, 02:07:23 AMThe box should last you a long time if you only carry around a couple of units for other gals in need.

I transitioned at 24 and used to keep some in the bathroom, a couple in my purse, and a couple in the desk drawer at work. One box lasted me a decade.

QuoteIf someone comments on your lack of PMS, just say that you've never had a problem with it. Some women just don't.

The topic came up at a house party some 5 years into my second marriage and I commented that I never had a problem with PMS but my husband advised me otherwise and explained the little x's on the kitchen calendar ..... apparently I was wrong!  (One of the VERY rare occasions when I was wrong LOL!)

Quote from: spacial on April 22, 2010, 09:17:06 AM
Could you not just say, 'Sorry, I don't have periods.'?

It's the way you were born. You've seen a Dr and there is nothing that can be done to change it.

No, sadly, you will never get pregnant.

I'm just making this point because it seems that carrying tampons so you can give 'a spare' to a friend is just being dishonest.

You were born a woman. You had some problems but sadly, the pleasures of monthly inconvienence and the ouch of child birth are somethings you will not enjoy.

All perfectly honest. You only need to give anyone as much information as you choose.

If you wanted to be completely honest, and are going to do this (and uhm, I'm sorry, we're 'dishonest' about enough as is that I don't think a puss-plug really matters here), tell them you're blessed without them but you carry spares for friends in need. Paying it forward.

Quote from: Arch on April 22, 2010, 02:07:23 AM
If someone comments on your lack of PMS, just say that you've never had a problem with it. Some women just don't.

I get the idea, but I believe she was referring to the bloody menstruating moonblood part, asking if I was pregnant.  I'm not worried about being, "uncovered," more so that I go to great lengths to always have an appropriate response to a wide variety of situations, and due to not having such a response for this one, I was left flabbergasted. 

Thanks for the Tampax suggestions.  I may also say it's a genetic abnormality.  I am sure that while many things may be suspected, my gender related history isn't a part of it.  Genetic disorder:)

I'll stick to both.  There's nothing wrong with carrying something around for friends, it's no different from a flashlight, pocket knife, baby wipes, an extra cell phone, bandages, etc. 

It is interesting that it's widespread, more so in post-ops?

Quote from: spacial on April 22, 2010, 09:17:06 AM
I'm just making this point because it seems that carrying tampons so you can give 'a spare' to a friend is just being dishonest.

Let me step in and play the devil's advocate here. In what way is this dishonest? I know a guy who carries a "survival kit" in his car. Band-aids, first aid cream, stuff for upset tummies, Ibuprofen, a few tampons. He sure as heck doesn't need the tampons, but he was able to help a gal in need at Pride last year when she needed a tampon and couldn't find one.

I went through menopause years ago, well before I started transition in early 2009. Yet I carried a few tampons around in my car (and had some in the survival kit in my office) up until December of last year. I didn't need them anymore; was it a lie to have them? Was I tacitly saying, "Yes, I still bleed"? I kept them just in case someone else needed them. Lately, I've decided that it looks a little odd for a guy to have them (my buddy got a few raised eyebrows at Pride), but it's perfectly natural for a gal to have them, even if she doesn't menstruate (or doesn't anymore) or only uses pads. Seems to me it's nice to have a couple of tampons on hand if you are a woman and hang around with women and frequent women's restrooms.

Let's take this a little farther. Am I dishonest to go to a gay men's group and not say that my ex-partner is straight? I pack, so men think I have male genitals. Is that dishonest? Trans women often wear breastforms and pad their fannies and tuck their genitals. Is that dishonest?

Think about it.

My brand of choice is playtex  but tampax is good too. Just get whatever is on sale as long as it's not the cheap dollar store kind. I made that mistake once, never again my friend...

Remember to get the regular absorbency especially if you're carrying it for others, because too much absorbency will end up being painful and too little will cause leaks. Regular is a good middle ground.

Quote from: spacial on April 22, 2010, 09:17:06 AM
I'm just making this point because it seems that carrying tampons so you can give 'a spare' to a friend is just being dishonest.

I would like to point out that I have already stated that I do occassionally need them myself and I suspect I may not be the only one.

But even if that is not true I can not really see that there is anything wrong with this, particularly given that the only consequence is that you are then in a position to help someone else.

I like Tampax Pearl or Playtex Gentle Glide (the ones with the plastic applicators), which are godawful terrible for the environment but less painful to use than the cardboard or no-applicator kind. But I have to assume that a woman who's caught without won't be so picky (don't know, honestly never found myself in that situation because while mine are painful and miserable they're very short and light).

OK I'm weird, not once have I had anyone ask for any hygeine product. nor can I imagine ever doing so.