It's been 3 weeks and 2 days now since my surgery. I'm almost done with my first week back at work. The routine of dilation and the other things have taken over my life. I am unable to stop from the moment I wake up until late evening, and I'm not even able to do everything I should be doing, although I'm only skipping the icing of the area which shouldn't be too bad.
I got back home exactly 2 weeks ago and since then things have changed dramatically. When I first got home I was still very sore and swollen down there and it was still difficult to walk. It was necessary to always sit on the donut, and I couldn't sit or stand for too long without having to shift myself constantly. As the days have gone by I've noticed the rapid healing process the body is undertaking. Looking at it now, I can hardly believe that it's only been a few weeks since I was lying in a hospital bed after having major surgery. These days walking is much easier, although there is still some slight discomfort. I can sit down without having to hold on to something, and do not need my donut most of the time (unless I'm sitting on a hard chair). The bruises made a quick comeback but are receding once again. The overall appearance is becoming more natural looking. I think it'll actually turn out exactly as I had hoped.
The first month is definitely the hardest. My life now revolves around dilation. I must do it first thing in the morning, right when I get home at lunch time, first thing when I get home after work, and a final time before bed. Mix into that the need to douche, sitz bath and ice and there's hardly time for anything else. However, in less than 2 weeks I go down to 3 dilations a day. That totally opens up my options, since now I'll be able to choose whether to do a dilation at lunch and one after work, or keep my lunch free and do two after work. In a month and a half I'll be able to stop the douche and sitz bath, freeing up more time. Then, a month after that I'll be able to go down to 2 dilations a day.
That's July 5th. I figure at that point life will seem pretty much back to normal. I won't have to rush anymore to get all the dilations in throughout the day, and won't have the other things on top of that to do anymore either, like the sitz bath. By then it should be healed up very well and I should have pretty much full mobility back again. At that point I will be able to start having sex again, which I must say is testing the patience of my boyfriend. The best part about it is that it's pretty much the beginning of Summer and I can finally fully enjoy the SoCal Summer without any hesitation, tucking, or anything. I've been waiting for this day for so long.
It's strange to think sometimes that after everything I've been through, after years of going through the process of transition and everything that entails, from electrolysis, to going full-time, to coming out, to surgery, that it's all now behind me. I have nothing left to do, nothing looming on the horizon. I can hardly remember what life was like before, and I can't even imagine where I'd be had I not started this journey. It's like I can finally take a breath for once. I've been so wound up with everything for so long now that it feels strange to be able to look into the future with wide eyes and open skies.
~Sarah
