Any genealogy experts out there? I'm trying to find out my mother's birth name, but I'm not on speaking terms with my parents. Do you know of a really good and accurate genealogy site that might be the best to use to search for census records and the like?

I consulted a couple of sites like ancestry.com. My mother was born in 1929. I thought that the 1930 census records would give me the info I need, but the search results are all over the place. Say I typed in John Smith of Flushing, New York; I got everything from John Smith of Miami to Joan Smythe of Pittsburgh. I tried all of the family members I could find but got no definite hits for that census. Ditto for 1940. I'm reluctant to sign up for one of these services if they don't have the info I want.

It's possible that the entire family is missing from that census. And maybe even from the 1940 census, for all I know. I understand that the crash hit my mother's family pretty hard, so they might have been living in the backwoods or something.

My mother's birth name is definitely incorrect on my birth certificate, and I'm trying to fix it. But I'm not sure what to fix it to because of lies and/or errors. I recently obtained a copy of my parents' marriage certificate from the 1950s and was surprised to find that my mother lied to me about her birth name. And for some reason she was spelling her last name differently from her parents' and siblings' spelling...unless my father filled out BOTH my birth cert AND their marriage cert and misspelled my mother's last name both times--and she didn't catch it. Seems like a pretty big if.

Help?

Hi Arch,
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I've done my own family genealogy back to around 1800, and have a few insanely large books that I published for my family a couple years ago. 
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The 1940 Census won't be available until April 1, 2012.
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For the 1930 Census (or any of them really), you don't need to get a subscription to Ancestry.  Just go to your local library.  Most of them have the service in-house that you can access.  Some even have remote access from home to Ancestry or Heritage Quest for those who carry a library card. 
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There are a lot of local resources available depending on the state, city, county, etc...but to go much further than the SSDI death index, a state death/birth/marriage index, Census docs, local newspaper clippings, and historical city/county directories or phone books...a little more information is needed to identify the resources that are available in the location and timeframe that you're researching. 
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Send me a PM with as much info as you care to share...even if it's just a city and state that she was born/married/etc in.  While researching the living can be difficult, I'm no stranger to it (I know most of the descentants of my G-G-G-Grandparents up through 1990).  I'm fairly adept at finding online and off-line genealogy resources.  There are never any guarantees, but I'll do what I can to help.

Thanks for the advice, Kay. I can do online research at home through my local library and my uni library, so I'll see what databases they have on hand. I didn't think of it. So I'll try it on my own before I ask for more help.

I didn't know that the 1940 Census wasn't available. When I was searching, I checked some option that related to 1940 Census and voting records (something like that), so I assumed that the 1940 Census was included. Apparently not; it seems that lots of people are eagerly awaiting the release of those records.

Interesting.

It will be difficult to find records if she is still alive.  Best thing to do is track down the county of her birth and search there.  2nd best thing to do (but easier) is to find her parents' information.  Sometimes children are listed with the parents.  Does your mom not have any living siblings who ARE on talking terms with you?

www.familysearch.org is free - official LDS database.

Quote from: interalia on April 23, 2010, 04:26:36 AM
It will be difficult to find records if she is still alive.  Best thing to do is track down the county of her birth and search there.  2nd best thing to do (but easier) is to find her parents' information.  Sometimes children are listed with the parents.  Does your mom not have any living siblings who ARE on talking terms with you?

She is still living and probably will be for another twenty years. Nice for her, I guess.

With regard to my mother's parents, I don't have much to go on, but I do have my grandmother's full married name, birth and death dates, and last city of residence. I also have my grandfather's first name and middle initial, plus the year and place of his demise.

I'm not on talking terms with anyone in my family except my brother, whom I've been corresponding with for a few months via Facebook. I'm crafting a letter for him about this subject, but the recession seems to have made him very busy (he's in real estate), so he's not so good about writing back. I don't think he would know, anyway. Not to mention that he isn't very informative in the first place, when it comes to our parents. You can tell that he doesn't like to talk about them; his whole tone changes, even in written communication. He gets so angry-sounding that I hesitate to ask. It's like poking an open wound.

At least I talk about my folks in therapy. Sounds like he doesn't do it at all, even to his only sib, who lived through the same mess and is clearly sympathetic. Not a very happy situation.

A friend recently suggested that when I renew my passport I just go with what's already on the birth certificate and forget the matter. I might just do that--after all, the incorrect name has been given official status--but I'm a notorious problem solver, and little mysteries like this one just drive me nuts. I like for everything to be correct and accurate.

Yes, my curiosity is piqued now. I am doomed.

P.S. Thanks for the LDS suggestion--I had forgotten about them. Sort of silly of me, considering that one of my cousins converted many years ago.

Quote from: Arch on April 23, 2010, 07:46:54 PM
With regard to my mother's parents, I don't have much to go on, but I do have my grandmother's full married name, birth and death dates, and last city of residence. I also have my grandfather's first name and middle initial, plus the year and place of his demise.

That should be more than enough to get the answers you need.  Look up their obituaries, they may give you some clues.
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It may be possible that your mom changed her birth name.  I had a great-aunt that was named "Daisy."  She hated that name...really...really...hated it.  Changed it as soon as she was 18.
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I also had a distant cousin who changed their last name when they were about 20.  Had a very bad falling out with their family.
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Some things to consider.  It may not be technically "wrong" on the cert...there may just be more to the story.  (Of course, that said, I had many ancestors who openly lied about their age, ethnicity, etc... so you can't really rule anything out yet)

Quote from: Kay on April 23, 2010, 10:58:29 PM
It may not be technically "wrong" on the cert...there may just be more to the story. 

Well, the certificate asked for "mother's name at birth." I have a photostat of the original, and it gives the first and middle name that she adopted later. That's definitely not her birth name. Plus the last name (maiden name) with the missing letter.

It looks like she was born with a first and middle, neither of which she liked. But the middle name wasn't so hateful as the first name, so at some point she started going by the middle name. Then she got married. Maybe she changed her name to eliminate the first name and take the middle name as her given name. Then she changed both first and middle to what they are now. But a lot of this is speculation. What a mess.

She rarely talked about her childhood, and she very much disliked her family. I know that she was eager to escape her past and any associations with it. I think it's interesting that in the course of her life she changed first, middle, and last--and so did I.