The thing that's holding me up with a legal name change is the last name. From comments from some people who transitioned some time ago, they regretted not changing the last name to make it a little harder for people to bother you in the future.

My first name name has stuck (though, the only other women I meet with my name are either 10-15 years older or 10-15 years younger. And it's increasingly popular for little girls... but at this point there's no going back, since I'm living FT), I see myself relatively happy with the middle name, but I cannot for the life of me decide on a last name. My last name was already foreign, but trying to pick a name in a foreign language makes me feel retarded. Like getting a tattoo in Chinese. I don't really know what else to do about it, though. First names feel so easy compared to last.

I changed first, middle, and last names all and I'm so glad I did. I took my partner's last name, who isn't exactly my partner anymore but who is still my best friend and I kinda like the name, it's grown on me lol (it's Dutch)

If you already have names which work ok then don't bother. I kept all my initials the same and as many names as I could. My original names - I have three - had all been feminised in my youth by my mother, when I first came out aged 5, although I didn't like Jamie - so by agreement we had unofficially changed that to Jenny. So when I change my names all that happened was that that became official.

Trust me on this, people from the past have got better things to do than bother you.

The only ones who may try and get in touch are those with whom you had a friendship and as you become older that is nice. My experience was that after a few years most of them seemed to forget that I'd ever been any different from now anyway. Kind of nice being taken out on a date by an old schoolfriend.

since I'm applying roundup to the family tree might as well change to be my own me (which has nothing to do with "stealth").

(that's a yes)

Yes. It was a tough decision, but given the extreme rarity of my surname in the US, I did. It's just one less thing to worry about in terms of being outed. I did however go with a surname of special meaning to me, which I think is important. Are there any surnames in your family you're partial to?

Quote from: rejennyrated on April 26, 2010, 01:51:26 AMTrust me on this, people from the past have got better things to do than bother you.

Changing our names may have nothing to do with being "bothered" by people from the past, trust me on this. Sometimes it has to do with making a clean break from that past and not being constantly reminded of it every time we sign our names.

Quote from: Nero on April 26, 2010, 02:01:20 AM
Yes. It was a tough decision, but given the extreme rarity of my surname in the US, I did. It's just one less thing to worry about in terms of being outed. I did however go with a surname of special meaning to me, which I think is important. Are there any surnames in your family you're partial to?

Not in the slightest. I've never considered myself to have family outside of my parents.

My last name, likewise, is exceptionally uncommon as a name, but when I tell people, everyone goes "OH yeah, *well known product*"

So I don't like that.

Jenny, I mean the female names I've accepted to use are good enough. I haven't changed anything yet. My birth names are absolutely not acceptable.

Quote from: Autumn on April 26, 2010, 02:48:48 AM
Jenny, I mean the female names I've accepted to use are good enough. I haven't changed anything yet. My birth names are absolutely not acceptable.

Ah sorry Autumn, I obviously got confused there - I thought you were saying your birth names were androgynous.

I blame my strange childhood, where my mother helpfully feminised my birth names at age 5... on the ground that If I was going to go to my best friends party in a frock it would look silly if they had to call me James - so I became Jaimie etc... (which we then later altered to Jenny)

Quote from: FairyGirl on April 26, 2010, 02:47:47 AM
Changing our names may have nothing to do with being "bothered" by people from the past, trust me on this. Sometimes it has to do with making a clean break from that past and not being constantly reminded of it every time we sign our names.

And Fairygirl - yes I can understand now that that is the case for some, but I had nothing I wanted to break with so It never really occured to me. Thanks for explaining.

I changed my surname when I was 18. I did it to put some distance between myself and my family.

I have never regreted it. Even now, when I hear my family surname, which, while not common, is not rare, I feel dirty.

Being 18, I chose a surname that is very rare, and spelt not haow it sounds. My wife loves it. 

I didn't change mine. Part of it was in hopes that my family would have easier time accepting the change (didn't really work). The other reason I kept it 'cause the name is pretty cool with a pretty cool association - Morrissey! My middle name was picked via my mom, who is my main supporter in my family... the rest just do with out me.

I'm semi-stealth. Basically, I'm not out to anyone who doesn't already know me, unless I meet that person at a trans meeting of some sort.

I had a very unusual surname that I loved because it was so uncommon. But it was a link to my family, and I didn't want to have anything to do with them, so I changed my last name. My new name was kind of a package deal, anyway--the new first name actually went with a particular new last name because they were from my old alter ego, a name that my family didn't know about. Once I decided to go with the first name, the last name automatically followed.

It's just a personal choice. But one interesting side effect of this choice is that somewhere along the line, some entity appears to have linked my old first name with my new last name, as if my legally female self had married my legally male self. Let's say I was born Susan Callahan and changed my name to Fred Smith. Now when I do a people search, Susan Smith comes up with one online search agency. But that agency does not link my old name, Susan Callahan, to my new name at all.

Now it looks like my old name and new name are linked by marriage and aren't the same person. If I forget myself and mention that I was once legally married and someone looks me up, I can be vague on the details and let the person assume that my male self once married a girl. I suppose this might reinforce the notion that I've always been legally male and that I was designated male at birth. Since there's no court-ordered name change on file, even my name change is a bit stealth.

Mainly, I just wanted to sever all ties with my parents, and the full name change accomplished that.

I changed everything.  My folks never knew, so I choose my own first and middle name.  When it came to my last name, I changed it out of respect to my parents and my last ex.  I wanted a total breack for my new life.

I've changed everything. My first two initials are my dads initials but different names and my last name is now an amalgamation of mine and my partners last names

Quote from: al james on April 26, 2010, 03:53:46 PM
my last name is now an amalgamation of mine and my partners last names

That's a nice touch. 

I def. plan to change my last name

The last name I have is an adopted name and doesn't mean much to me

If I'm gonna have an adoptive name it should be one of my choosing 

I am changing all names for two reasons. First I do not want to be reminded of natures mistake and secondly I don't want the past to pop up. I am fortunate that my birth state will change my birth certificate. Shortly I am having an orci with Dr. Bowers and her letter will state I have had irreversible genital surgery. With the court ordered name change I will be able to change SS, DL and birth certificate. I am moving to Seattle where I will start my new life without worrying about the past. I have no children, no living parents and my ex really wants nothing to do with me.

Pam

I'm not changing my last name at all. For myself I just don't see a point to changing my last name, and in some ways I'm having trouble fully understanding why others would change their last names. I have no intentions of marriage ever and just plain don't think I would take my partner's name.

I like it, I'm going to keep it. I'm getting rid of my middle name and changing my first.

Yes, I will be changing my full name to include my last name.  I have already asked for my grandmother's blessing to take her maiden name as my new last name and checked with my mom.  Both said it was okay and my grandma was very supportive (although she is forgetful).

I have no emotional ties to my birth last name and planned on changing it before I knew I was trans.  Now, I have a valid reason for changing it

Quote from: Adio on April 26, 2010, 06:36:06 PM
I have no emotional ties to my birth last name and planned on changing it before I knew I was trans.  Now, I have a valid reason for changing it

It's nice to feel free to do what you wanted to do in the first place.

The weird combination name that I spoke of earlier in the thread has taken on a life of its own. If I go to, say, Intelius and type in my given birth name, middle initial (I kept that the same), and new last name, I actually get a hit--it's the right age, the right city, and no known relatives except for...me, with my new name. This gives the illusion that my new name is for a whole different person. Funky!

I wanted to change my last name when I was like 7 because I hated it. I still hate it but my parents wouldn't let me change it.

When I change it this time, I'm gonna change the whole thing.

I only share my last name with my dad whom I haven't seen in years and has been absent most of my life and his family who I don't know.

It's tempting to change it to my mums last name, but her's isn't great either.