I think most transsexuals have body-image issues, and I'm no exception. I'm really pleased with the way HRRT has changed my body, for the most part. I now have a curvy waist and hips, 27 inch waist, and 37.5 inch hips / butt, which puts me nicely into the female hip/waist ratio.
Unfortunately, my upper body just doesn't want to cooperate! When look at myself from the chest down, I really love what I see. Then when I look at myself from the chest up, I think I look like the incredible hulk. There are days when I think I look fine, but there are days when that hulk feeling overcomes me. I think I have quite chunky arm, lat, and shoulder muscles, which make me look out of proportion. I'll do a most-muscular pose in the mirror, and all I'll see is this nice female torso and hips, with these hard muscles which most teenage boys would envy lol. OK so I am not as huge as incredible hulk, but it does still look out of proportion.
The other day my wife told me that my butt is looking big and bouncy. This pleased me no end! However, I feel that the only way to lose the muscles in my arms, shoulders, and back is to blitz them with ultra-low calories, and lots of cardio, but it isn't really doing that much, and my face ends up looking gaunt, whereas I usually have a chubby, feminine face. I am happy to lose muscle and gain it back as fat, but I never realized it would be soooo difficult to lose these muscles. I used to train with weights - nothing heavy, just keeping fit - and I thought that losing muscle was just a matter of doing the exact opposite of what I did when I was working out, but that doesn't seem to be the case.
I have been on HRT for a bit over 11 months, and I am really frustrated by this upper-body issue. I want to go full time in Jan 2011 after FFS. Do these muscles go away??? My T levels are already really low, well within female range, and my E levels are within female range too.
