I know I am a guy. I know that I am a gay guy.

How will I explain to everyone how that works? They will just say "Well, if you like guys, then you are a straight girl." Is this true? I feel like no one will believe me. I guess you can't understand it until you've been there.

I have had a break through though. I now have no doubts (at least in my mindset). I AM a gay MALE! Now if I could just tell everyone else...

I waited to tell people until I had a diagnosis. Then I just said I'd been diagnosed with GID. I dunno about the gay issue though. I'd probably just say "right, and there's no such thing as gay men?".

I just found that having the diagnosis helped people put it into a scientific framework.

Dennis

Yeah, people get a little confused with me, especially if they know that I use what I've got for sex and everything. I try to tell them that life is not about who you have sex with, but then I get ever more incredulous looks...meh

But yeah, here's another gay FTM rootin' for ya 

Hey there brady...I honestly have only two words for you:

Patrick Califia

Read his books...all of them....the ones he wrote when he identified as a lesbian/bisexual woman are just as compelling as the ones since his transition!  His writing has helped rid me of A LOT of gender/sexuality shame and maybe he can help you too!  The thing I like about him is that he knows his ->-bleeped-<- (academically/theoretically speaking) and has all the pertinent references but speaks in an accessible language....not psycho-analytic, post-structuralist, deconstructionist bull->-bleeped-<-....seriously check out Sex Changes: The Politics of ->-bleeped-<-, Speaking Sex to Power, & Public Sex: The Culture of Radical Sex.....all three are fantastic at speaking to/for/about people who's sexuality/gender identity do not quite fit into normative ideas of society!

Cheers: Pat

P.S. For a kinky read....check out his book of short S&M stories.....Macho Sluts

Brady:

Gender identity and sexual orientation are two completely different things.  Changing your gender doesn't necessarily mean you will (or must) change your orientation.

Take it from me, hon, I'm a lesbian.  Once I came to terms with that things got a lot easier.  I'm comfortable with that.  It's the rest of the world that has the problem.

Don't let your gayness confuse your gender issues.  You'll have enough of those.  Go with what feels right and everything will be fine.

-Sandy

Hey, I'm a little boy of the rainbow persuasion, too. Gayer than the candy Skittles. Taste <i>that</i> rainbow! 
Don't worry Brady-boy, you're not alone!

But I do know where you're coming from with that "straight girl" statement. It makes my hackles raise every time.

In fact everyone, I'm a little ashamed to admit it... But I actually punched a guy for calling me a girly girly she girl and continuing to use my female name after I calmly explained to him my "proper" gender situation over eleven times.
I floored him <i>hard.</i>
I'm kind of proud of it in a sad way, but um... Yes. Machismo issues? *Coughs*  *Sweatdrop*

Thanks guys n gals, really. Sandy, I've never met you before? I'm Brady, glad to know ya. 

Another gay transguy here.  I had the same problem forever.  Now I usually just explain the two aspects, gender and sexual orientation, separately.  Like, when I come out I tell people first that I'm a guy, and then if they ask (they usually do) I'll tell them I'm gay.  But I don't give it in the same sentence, that's just too much for most people.  I think it's actually a little easier for them to understand that they can't pretend to understand you (does that make any sense?) when you're a gay transguy - straight people, in my experience, have kinda stopped at that and said "Oh.  Uh.  Ok."  I mean, they wonder why I would "choose" to not only be transsexual, but gay too - to them it's two steps down.  But they have mostly said they can't pretend to understand and so they'll take it how I explain it.  Whereas I know a lot of straight transguys get the "You're becoming a guy because you're ashamed to admit you're a lesbian" response because that's something the average oblivious straight person might have heard of before.

So I dunno.  As with everything in life, there's a downside and an upside.

Quote from: Brady on December 04, 2006, 07:46:45 AM
Thanks guys n gals, really. Sandy, I've never met you before? I'm Brady, glad to know ya. 

Nice meeting you to, Brad.  I'm kinda new around here, but I like it here.

Take care, hon!

-Sandy

Its a crazy world, it really is and a seemingly un-accepting one.  Hopefully as we spread the world and the love we'll all change the world one day.  Ok ok, maybe that is having high hopes but one can dream right?

How do you explain it?  Anyway you know how.  What is important is that you at least try.  You are in a female body but you are definitely a man.  You are attracted to men making you gay.  Its really as simple as that, what is not simple is taking a closed minded individual and having them open up to the concept.  Keep trucking, hopefully it'll get easier.

For the record, I feel more Androgynous.  So really if I date a male or female I wouldn't consider that homosexual as I feel neither but as I also feel like I'm both I would consider it homosexual.  I know, seems strange.  To make matters more interesting I am attracted to FTM.  So where does that leave me?  It leaves me gay because I'm physically male attracted to someone who is mentally male.  Yet I'm not because I feel I am androgynous and can be either.  Interesting hrm?

Very interesting. I do understand what you are saying though. Haven't seen ya around, Mayfair. Welcome to Susan's As you know, I'm Brady. Thanks for the advice

Thanks for the welcome Brady, I lurk mostly.  I just recently decided to start positing.  Nice to meet you.

If ya need anything Mayfair, I'm here to help when I can. You should keep postin, these people are fantastic. Once again, welcome. 

I will definitely post when I feel I have something to add.  I'm really new to this arena so I'm sure I'll be slow in coming.

Brady, I understand, completely.  How you feel is how you feel.  All it means is this is who you are, nothing more.  We get so stuck on categorizing ourselves we forget we are all as unique as our fingerprint.

It's a nutty world in which we live.  Say one thing, do another.  Preach one thing, teach another.  It's no wonder so many people seek therapy.  And the poor therapists have to live in this world too. 

It's gotta make one wonder what is normal?  What is sane?  What is the purpose of conformity?  Why does it matter to someone else what makes you happy?  Why do you have to live your life in a way that makes everyone else comfortable even though it makes you miserable?

I've never heard a logical response to those questions.  But I'm waiting.

Julie

Hehe Julie, no matter what you say/post you always put a smile on my face. You are truly an amazing woman. Just thought you should know that.   

believe me i feel like im a gay guy trapped in a female body, ive felt like this for over 20 years.

I'm a straight guy trapped in a female body...so I get the "so you're ashamed to admit you're a lesbian, eh?"...&^%&#@$#!%!#  "no." People are hardheaded and egotistic...so if they decide you are something, sometimes they won't budge their thoughts of you. Get use to it, I guess.