Hi every one I hope your all well today.

today has been a bit of a nightmare filling out forms and the like regarding long standing non trans related health issues,

I guess I'd like to know how everyone else dealt with the blue/down days in their early transition bearing in mind I haven,t started HRT yet and with the last therapy session at my local gender clinic it seems like it will be a long way off before they recommend me to which is a sad thought personally I just want to get things moving quicker I guess.

I think it's a cruel joke having to be 3 months into your RLE before you can begin hrt especially as I could really do with being further along the road before entering into full time. the two therapists I've seen have both seem to have a view that all male to females need to be in dresses and skirts all of the time as that's what a real women wears. regardless of how many people in "real life" actual wear dresses and skirts I think their expectations are unrealistic and un-fair especially to people that have very little or no chance of presenting as female.

Does anyone have any advice or anything that could help anything would be greatly appreciated.

Jess xXx

That must be very frustrating trying to pass in skirts and dresses when your body doesn't match just yet. It's kinda like me trying to pass with "boobs" but the rest of me looks male (a binder can only do so much). I have frustrations in my pre HRT transition, but I just get angry and more motivated to prove my therapist wrong. It helps me and has brought about some good things.

jessica rose that position is not the position of all therapist i would consider getting anouther therapist rle when you cant even pass can also be dangerous making that position even more ludicris. pm me i have some suggestions for you if you want them.
jessica

It's a test of your will and determination at this point more than a test of if you can live as a woman. I started my RLE and HRT on the same day and even then it was very tough at first. What was even worse though was before that, after having made the decision to transition then remaining in the closet, searching for a therapist, not being able to find one, and feeling eventually like the whole world was coming down around my ears. But I hung on somehow, even if it was only by a thread. It's very hard at first for a lot of people.

I agree though that 3 months RLE before hormones is cruel and unusual. Last I recall the SoC suggest 12 therapy sessions first, but even then those are only guidelines. Perhaps you would do better in the meantime to do as Jessica suggested and find another therapist, preferably one that can read. You can download a free copy of the Standards of Care here: http://www.wpath.org/publications_standards.cfm (also available to order)

Hi Jesse I am one post short of being able to send PMs at the moment but I would appreciate any advice to be honest. since my last meeting I've barely left my house.

Hi Hurtfulsplash I agree forcing people to measure up to unrealistic perception of what they think is normal! when I left my last session and travelled the 15 miles home I didn't see a single woman wearing a skirt or dress. I am really trying to leave the anger part of my life well behind after a couple of really bad experience,like when I was escorted out of a shop by security after asking a question when I didn't even raise my voice or do anything remotely aggressive to anyone.

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Post Merge: May 11, 2010, 07:14:39 AM

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I Think changing therapists is a wise move the one I met with the last time wasn't really any good and I left disappointed and frustrated  after He told me the only option for people that have lost some hair is a wig and losing 92 lbs in a year was no great achievement despite not being able to any cardio work to help.

there Is a Private therapist in London but the cost is high £350 with travel and other things and I'm not sure I can afford this currently but hopefully that will change in July

oh my goodness i know exacty how you feel im in pretty much the same boat. My psychologists are EXACTLY the same hun if you wanna talk about it or anythinggg PM me

xx

There is nothing in the current Standards of Care that requires you to be full time in your RLE before starting HRT. That alone would concern me. The insistence upon styles of dress which don't seem to conform to actual women in your area would be a flashing red alarm signal.

I have been on HRT for about 7 months (not counting the Spiro alone time). And I'm just now beginning the RLE part of my transition. My therapist has never mentioned anything about my sense of style other than to compliment a particular outfit. And she's never seen me in a skirt.

You need better professional help.

Hi Diana

Your so right I do think a change to more professional  people would be a wise move and an investment in my future to I have heard lot's of positive things about Dr. Richard Curtis in London I am looking to co and see him in July after my final exams I hope he's as good as I've heard.

Jess xXx

Hello Jess,
It's just cruel to demand 3 months of RLE before starting on hormones, and I don't even think there can be a medical reason for it (like making irreversible changes before you may find out it's not what you want after all)
Probably it's a good idea to find another therapist.
From my own situation, I just started on hormones last week, and while I try to do as much as possible as a woman, the situation at home still prevents me from starting RLE. My therapist is fully aware of this, and one of the reasons I was allowed to start hormones anyway, was to make passing somewhat easier once RLE starts - which will be around the end of august.
Hope you find a solution to your situation,
Love,
Marleen

I agree with FairyGirl's thinking – this sounds more like a test of your resolve.  The always-in-a-skirt seems a bit silly to me, but I live where most women don't wear skirts.  If you are in the UK going through NHS, my understanding is that you will have to jump through certain hoops that those of us in the States don't.  In the beginning, this is especially tough.  Will the therapists be available to you to help you through the difficulties of walking about male-bodied in women's clothes?

I think too often some of us think that hormones and surgery are the magic pills that will make us into the people we need to be.  It is much more complicated than that and a lot of work has to be done within each of us, but this requirement sounds like the opposite extreme. 

Perhaps you can negotiate a compromise.  There are many obviously-female outfits that don't include a skirt.  RLE in my understanding is full time, so perhaps they feel that if you walk around androgynously in jeans you aren't full time?

Is there a support group in your area?  How do the other gals in your area handle this?

- Kate

I know my insurance wants 2 years living full time as a female before they pay for they srs and Hormones.

Quote from: koolstacy on June 07, 2010, 06:58:51 AM
I know my insurance wants 2 years living full time as a female before they pay for they srs and Hormones.

If so, consider yourself lucky, most times insurance won't pay for it at all. Well, hormones maybe but not the surgery.