hey guys.. i need to get some words out...

I just had a bit of an identity crisis.  I had been watching some makeup tutirials and stuff, the kind with really pretty smokey eye makeup.. and I was thinking, i want that pretty eye makeup.. and then I thought of my old skirt.. its a black gothic short pleeated one..

and I was thinking, i want to wear that skirt.. I want to wear it with my big black boots and eye makeup.. so I decide I would go out in public with the skirt and my binder, and a black wife beater

then I thought OH ->-bleeped-<-, AM I A GIRL NOW?

so i went out for a smoke and talked to myself(yea crazy) anyway.. I decided.. that, Im not a girl.. I dont want to be a female.. I just want to look pretty.  i want to look pretty and handsome.  I want to wear a skirt, and not have these gross boobs, and have a flat chest and no gross hips.. and I want a deep voice and stubble.

so..I have figured out.. i am just a ->-bleeped-<-got.  I can wear a skirt if I want to.  I need to do what will make me happy.  and if I want to be a pretty BOY then I can.

Im sorry.. is this confusing for you too? Its just.. Im so confused.  i still feel trans, and I still feel dysphoria.. so, is this ok?  maybe I am genderqueer.. or maybe an androg.. but maybe not.. becuase I still want to be male, and I want to be called HE.

please respond back.. I need some people..

I'm not sure if I can help you on this one, all I can say is do what you feel good doing. There are many people on this board that feel the same way you do.

A close friend of mine, male born and identified, regularly wears dresses and makeup because he thinks it's fun and likes how it looks. It's not a sexual thing for him, either, he just enjoys doing it.

It's perfectly okay to be a guy and want to dress in drag. It doesn't magically make you a girl; we're not born wearing clothing or makeup, after all.

If a cis-boy can dress up in a skirt and makeup but still be a boy, then so can you!
Really, I don't blame you. Skirts are fun, I'll admit that. And playing with makeup can just be a lot of fun and really cool. But do I consider myself any less male because sometimes I feel like playing with eyeshadow? No, I don't.
Crossdressing is fun to a lot of people. But it doesn't change who they are. 'Oh, hey, I feel like wearing a skirt!' doesn't have to mean 'Oh, hey, I'm a girl!' Sometimes a skirt is just a skirt.
Besides, boys in skirts are cute.
Basic summary: If you don't feel female, then you're not female. If you feel trans, then you're trans. If you feel like a he, then you're a he. Regardless of whether you feel like wearing pants or a skirt that day. You are who you are, and no one else can tell you who that is or what that means.

Very well put.

Eye makeup and skirts don't automatically make you a girl. They make you a hot guy.

Though this is coming from another super gay guy who likes guys in skirts/eye makeup.

I don't want to wear just any skirt though. I want my slinky black one with slits up to the knees with my big stompy boots. I want to wear it while packing/binding. I want to be he. It's those silly goth tendencies. 

The first thing I'm buying after transition, is a Utilikilt! (google it if you don't know it) and then I think I'll wear it... oh... every day that's warm enough.
And my steel toed boots...

And a collar with a cat bell.

Going topless when weather allows, but otherwise in a simple sleeveless shirt of some kind.

With long long hair.. Blue.. maybe in dreads..

And... maybe... sometimes...
I'll wear something in lace... and pretty...

Cause... I like to be "pretty"...

Screw social norms and conventions!

Quote from: MihaelKai on May 12, 2010, 03:49:45 AM
If a cis-boy can dress up in a skirt and makeup but still be a boy, then so can you!

I agree! I personally hate make up and stuff but after googling utilikilt I want one!

Utilikilts are fantastic things. My husband wears them during hot months. He has a spare, but it's a leetle big on me. Can't wait to have the money to buy myself one.

I've wanted a Utilikilt for years!  I love those things.

@Elijah:  Like the guys before me have said, wearing skirts or makeup doesn't make you a girl.  Enjoying it doesn't make you a girl.  There are plenty of men who like crossdressing who do not transition.  Just because you were born differently than most of those guys doesn't exclude you from having some fun yourself.

If I remember correctly, it was your dad (might have been step-dad?) who said that guys don't care about their looks.  That's such bs.  Wanting to feel attractive in whatever way that means to you is not just a feminine ideal.  Men have the right to look and feel pretty just as much as women do. 

So wear that skirt or put on that makeup.  Like you said, you don't want to be female, so it's not about that.  You're just expressing another side of yourself and there's nothing wrong with that.

There's a transguy in the UK who is a part time drag queen. Doesn't make him less male. Search for Adrian Dalton on youtube and you'll find his videos.

Guys in skirts are hot.  Guys in kilts are hot.

Nothing wrong with that dude. While I don't think I'd ever catch myself dead in a skirt, pre-T Or even after the T works its magic...I absolutely love tight shirts, black nail polish, tight jeans (I'll love those even more once T redistributes all my fat to a male's pattern), gothic makeup...but none of that makes me not a man. Those are just stereotypes.  Do you, and you'll be happier being you than fitting a stereotype.

Maybe you might even want to try out being a drag queen? I personally never would, I'm not comfortable with looking feminine at all. But I'm a male entertainer and I love it.

What's wrong with cross dressing, again?

I admit on occasion i like it, however not in skirts (er... i don't like my legs exposed to the point where i wear pants in the summer) but if it's fun why not?

Doesn't mean your a girl.

Don't sweat it. I went to a middle school for TAG kids with behavioral issues, which is basically code for we're too weird for traditionally-minded teachers to handle. ^_^ One of our Spirit Week days was cross-dressing day, and I knew biofemales who wore dresses, biomales who wore suits...
But I stray from my topic. Being, it is fully chill for a guy to like to dress up. I don't think it makes you any less of a dude.
In terms of wondering if you're an androgyne or whatever - from what I can tell, you feel wrong enough in your body to want, desperately, to be a biomale. Forget clothing, forget makeup, you know on the inside you're a guy and you need your body to reflect that. But I don't see why you can't put whatever you damn well please on it, too.
In conclusion:

QuoteIf a cis-boy can dress up in a skirt and makeup but still be a boy, then so can you!

(I hope that made sense.)

i feel the same exact way - i know i am male but i want to dress up in female clothes sometimes. Doesn't make us any less male though, i just call it crossdressing 8P

thanks everyone.. I feel alot better about my fem side now.

I mad a youtube video.. where i said something that I think actually makes a lot of sense.

"becuase I am trans, anytime I do something feminine, it contradicts my trans status, but when gay guys do something girly, it doesnt make them wonder if they are a girl, but when i do something girly it makes me unsure of my identity"

Very well said, Vexing.

Yeah, don't worry dude.  I used to have an uber girly girlfriend who was a bit of a ->-bleeped-<- hag, so always wanted to go to these gay club nights that I HATED.  Basically it was all cute ->-bleeped-<-s going crazy over her outfits.  So I started dressing up for those nights too and discovered I actually enjoyed it, especially the cute ->-bleeped-<-s fawning over me.

So I have sold most of those clothes, but I am saving this dress, coat and shoe combo, which I used for dressing up like Courtney Love circa Live Through This.  Once I look more MANLY I can't wait to do Courtney Love drag, maybe slur Doll Parts at Karaoke!

Also if my cisboy best mate can dance around in his fluoro pink y-fronts THEN SO CAN I!

I know exactly how you feel! I wish I could wear a skirt or a dress and feel comfortable enough with myself to do it. I don't wear skirts or dresses now because I look like a girl in a dress, and that's what makes me really uncomfortable. I think once I start looking like a guy in a skirt, I'd wear one once in awhile

Like others have said, it most definitely doesn't make you a girl! I understand how it is really hard to wrap your brain around it sometimes! If only life was simple and everything was black and white!

I think what makes it hard is that generally in society, men who wear skirts/dresses, makeup, etc are not as easily accepted, whereas women can wear jeans, t-shirts, hoodies, sneakers, etc and usually nobody even bats an eye! Even my (at one point) therapist tried to tell me "Masculine women are more accepted then feminine men" and to consider just presenting as a masculine woman... What I told her was that it's  NOT about making 'society' happy with me, it's about ME being comfortable with myself! I've kind of stopped seeing her, needless to say she wasn't helping much! LOL

As I see it, I've tried so hard to try to 'fit in' as a woman in the past, I'm done trying to 'fit in' or conform to someone's stereotype! I think the reason we all chose to take on this journey of transition was to BE OURSELVES and be comfortable with ourselves, and trying to conform to a whole new set of guidelines is just defeating the purpose!