HA.  I just had a parcel arrive by courier and its morning so I was on the front porch in my PJs with coffee.  I went running up to grab the thing and the guy goes, "there ya go mate!" and I sorta squeaked, "thanks!" cos it was early and he goes uh oh, here you go dear and looked really embarrassed.

I went inside and CRACKED UP.  Real manly dudes can't work out if I'm a "mate" or a "dear"! I cannot wait to get some T and change this voice.

I love moments like this

I was in a shop today and I heard two guys talking about me

"look at that guys hoody!"
"dude that's a girl"
"what? no it's not"
"she has boobs"
"maybe he's just fat"

I found it hilarious

I know! I found it so funny that he thought that if I was a woman I would be OFFENDED to be called mate.  Can't mate be a gender-neutral term?  Lol.

I know right, even if I was a woman I'd prefer "mate" to "dear"...."dear" is so condescending

I know! Most of my female friends would rather be called mate, dude or bro than dear, love or missy. It's so infantalising, if that's even a word.

Quote from: elvistears on May 13, 2010, 05:18:40 PM
I know! Most of my female friends would rather be called mate, dude or bro than dear, love or missy. It's so infantalising, if that's even a word.

Really? Theyre kinda like a blessing for me I'm always like "YAY! I pass"

Those stories made me laugh, elvistears and Jeatyn.

And most of my friends call me "dude" even though I'm not out to them. I love it.

And Little Dragon, I think when you pass all the time, you'll see what we mean. But I get what you mean.

It always makes me laugh when somebody sees my name (which outs me) calls me she for a bit and turns right back around and says I'm a boy or something. It overrides the initial disappointment of being incorrectly addressed.

I always get called "sweetie".  Don't like it.

I've always used mate to refer to both males and females. I never knew it was for just dudes. Whoops! 

It also changes from country to country. Mate in Australia is male, and used by males to males. Guys is either male or female and used by both male and females for both males and females .
Dude wouldn't be used here, in my experience, for anyone.

Don't ask me why these differences exist.

Cindy

IDK but buddy in US is only between guys.

I don't usually get "dude," "mate," or "sweetie" from strangers, but my friends all use "dude" and "man" (as in "hey man, look at this!) for everybody interchangeably.  For whatever reason I don't get "ma'am" or "sir" from people in stores either.

Quote from: LordKAT on May 14, 2010, 04:12:07 AM
IDK but buddy in US is only between guys.

I've noticed that.
And, at least in my area, 'dude' is not neutral (i always thought it was, but...).

I never used to get "ma'am" or "sir," but now with short hair I get "sir" all the time. I know I'm not suddenly looking older. Maybe I just look more respectable?

As far as the other stuff..yeah, it's mostly very gendered. People never really used to call me anything except for occasionally slipping into a 'hey man' (I guess I didn't put out a 'sweetie' vibe), but now I get 'bro's and 'man's and 'dude's and 'bud's several times a day. 'Mate' isn't used here, sadly, since it's my favourite of the informal ones.

Of course, this is where the UK is awkward Pretty sure that down south, where I'm from, it would just be "mate" for a bloke, "dear", "sweetheart" etc. would be for women.

So, up in Yorkshire I'm suddenly getting "love", "sweetheart", "darling" etc. everywhere. At first I was disheartened 'cause I thought I wasn't passing, before the leader of my support group said that Yorkies call *everyone* that - men calling other men "sweetheart"?! Apparently it happens, so now I'm left wondering all the time how I get read by folk. Oh well. I also can't wait for hormones to lower this voice; it makes me pretty self-conscious when trying to pass

Quote from: Nemo on May 14, 2010, 11:10:14 AM
Of course, this is where the UK is awkward Pretty sure that down south, where I'm from, it would just be "mate" for a bloke, "dear", "sweetheart" etc. would be for women.

So, up in Yorkshire I'm suddenly getting "love", "sweetheart", "darling" etc. everywhere. At first I was disheartened 'cause I thought I wasn't passing, before the leader of my support group said that Yorkies call *everyone* that - men calling other men "sweetheart"?! Apparently it happens, so now I'm left wondering all the time how I get read by folk. Oh well. I also can't wait for hormones to lower this voice; it makes me pretty self-conscious when trying to pass

I can confirm this. I pass 100% and elderly women in particular like to call me dear, sweetie etc. I've never heard a man calling another man sweetheart though but Yorkshire is a strange place 

Dude, bro, buddy, sweetie, sweetpea....the latter two are from older women who I worked with or interacted with and they called all the guys something like that. It doesn't bother me. I even get dear. As long as it's not she...I'm cool.

Quote from: insanitylives on May 14, 2010, 05:31:20 AM
I've noticed that.
And, at least in my area, 'dude' is not neutral (i always thought it was, but...).

Lol, same here. I stopped because a bunch of girls got offended.

Haha.  I'm about 15 years behind the times, but I still use "dude" as an exclaimation.  ex- "Dude!  Look at that car!"  It sounds like I'm calling the person I'm talking to dude, but really I'm saying "Dude" meaning like "awesome" or "sweet".