Hi all.  I'm a bio female engaged to a FTM, I've heard from a few of you before.  Love the site, I'm on here reguarly.

My SO has encountered so much discrimination in the health care field.  He has a psychiatrist who is obviously biased and doesn't want to be treating him; she's blown off his appointments, accused him of using drugs (which he never has in his life) and when we tried to find a new one who was 'accepting' of trans-gendered issues, we've hit a brick wall.  And this is in a supposedly "liberal", large city.

Not long ago, my SO was hospitalized and he was forced to share a room with a woman.  He has been on T for several years, and has had the top surgery, but nothing on the bottom.  His driver's license, etc. says he is male.  We can't change his birth certificate until he has had "completed genital reconstruction" which I think is a crock of ->-bleeped-<-.  Anyway, when the hospital refused to move him to a single room or a room with a male, he left against medical advice.

I don't really have a question - I guess I'm just venting more than anything.  This world of discrimination is somewhat new to me and extremely frustrating.  I'm also afraid of professional ramifications it might have on me.  I wish the world was different.  I bet it is in other countries.

Di

Vent away.

I totally understand the problem.

Sarah L.

Wow. I am in the same place as your guy. Still need bottom surgery. All I can hope is I never need to be hospitalized until then

                                        Marco

Di, first you need to find out what the laws are in your state regarding transgender discrimination.  Right now I think there's 13 states that protect TGs from discrimination, Illinois is one of them.  Discrimination can sometimes be hard to prove so you have to be on your toes at all times to identify those things that will strengthen your case.  Many times, once you know the laws, all you have to do is inform the prejudiced individual what the laws are and that stops the discrimination. 

I need to ask why your SO is seeing a psychiatrist who is biased and doesn't want to treat him.  It would seem no treatment is better than abusive treatment.  But if this psychiatrist is in fact discriminating why not file a complaint?  Anything would be better than putting up with the abuse.

When I admitted to myself I was TS I too entered a world of discrimination I previously didn't have to deal with.  It's pretty eye-opening when you realize how bad it is.  I'm doing whatever I can to educate those I encounter but I know I will never see an end to discrimination in my life time.  It's one of those things you need to learn how to deal with and especially how to respond to so you can put the ignorant and narrow minded in their place.

I wish I had better advice but society doesn't give us much to work with. 

Julie

Wow, you'd think the woman in the room with him would complain about being roomed with a guy. And if they told her, that's sharing confidential medical information with her.

That really sucks. I hope he finds a decent health care team.

Dennis

Tinkerbell is right!
That's bs...
The health system i am involved with does not discriminate based on anything, that does not reslove the employees from being human but the policy is a non-negotiable policy.  employees have been fired for not handwashing cause its a non-negotiable policy with 100% enforcement!
That's a shame! Hurah for hospitals with private rooms!  that is easier!
DLT 0410:  what is your thinking or position with your signifigant other?  are you guys in love what will happen when he finally has surgery?  Is this what you want or are you supporting what he wants?
Just curious?
r

Quote from: Julie Marie on October 27, 2006, 04:53:06 PM

I need to ask why your SO is seeing a psychiatrist who is biased and doesn't want to treat him.  It would seem no treatment is better than abusive treatment.  But if this psychiatrist is in fact discriminating why not file a complaint?  Anything would be better than putting up with the abuse.

Julie,

Thanks for your comments.  We have fired that psychiatrist and recently found a new one.  Prior to his being seen, I called this provider and specifically asked him if he had any "qualms" about treating a TG patient.  He said he did not, but at the same time, had no experience with it.  As it is, my SO needs him for medications so it's not an issue.  We are working on finding a good therapist that will deal with the TG stuff.

I also reported that psychiatrist to the licensing board and the local behavioral intake service.


Posted on: November 15, 2006, 02:31:05 PM

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Quote from: Tinkerbell on October 27, 2006, 10:56:53 PM

BTW you can PM me or email me these answers if you wish.

QuoteAnd this is in a supposedly "liberal", large city

....and which city in which state is this???

Bell,

Thanks for all the great information.  I'm referring to Madison, Wisconsin

Posted on: November 15, 2006, 02:35:45 PM

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Quote from: Ricki on October 28, 2006, 09:35:22 AM
DLT 0410:  what is your thinking or position with your signifigant other?  are you guys in love what will happen when he finally has surgery?  Is this what you want or are you supporting what he wants?
Just curious?
r

Ricki,

I'm so glad there are health care systems like that out there.  I am also in the health care field, and have never come across even one TG person ever, nor have I heard about anyone else either.  The experience I described is the only one I know of.

To address your other question, Tony and I are very much in love and recently got engaged.  We started dating 6 years ago.  What will happen when he finally has his surgery?  Well, nothing... other than we can formally 'legalize' our vows.  The surgery is something he wants.  I would be happy spending the rest of our lives the way things are now, but it is very important to him.  We just don't have that kind of money at the moment.

Haha... no, I'm not "just curious".  I fell in love with him long before I found out he was TG.  It was early on in the process, and once I found out, he and I "hung out" as females early on.  I even told my mom I was in a lesbian relationship (I wasn't, but I wanted to have him/her around and it was the easiest explanation at the time).  I am very much a heterosexual female and have never been bi-curious.  Bottom line is this...I totally love the PERSON - what's inside - I couldn't care less about the exterior - and I would have loved him and stayed with him as a female, male, or anything in between.  I just want him to be happy.

We're going to try getting me pregnant early next year.  We found a place that matched all of his traits and characteristics, and will provide sperm and home insemination supplies, so we will be able to concieve in an intimate, private setting that only involves us.  I'm so grateful this opportunity exists.  Hope that answers all your questions.

Take care.

Diana

QuoteI am also in the health care field, and have never come across even one TG person ever, nor have I heard about anyone else either.

While chasing down a few biological curiosities/problems a few years back I ended up seeing a rather prominent local liver specialist.  His nurse did the pre-screen in his office and of course I had to answer the question on meds.  At this point my hair was pretty long, I had shaved that day, and had my hoop earrings in (they are small, not 80s like).  So when I rattled off my meds she asked why I was on estradiol and a couple of others.  I told her up front that I was transsexual.  She finished the pre-screen and said she would be right back.  She rushed out to find the doctor and dragged him back inside of the small office.

Then the three of us sat there while I answered a wide variety of questions about being TS.  They had never, ever met someone that they knew was transsexual before and this was in an area with a healthy T population.  It was fun in a way and I got to do the education thing with them.  The next T person who goes in there will find a doctor who has at least a basic understanding.  Then they stuck needles in me.

Good luck with trying to conceive and I hope that the new shrink does a better job.

Thanks DLT...
that is soo great and i am glad to hear you are happy and your relationship will hold!  Truly wonderful!
A shinning star shooting through the night air.....
and bye-the-way i get a huge HUGE laugh out of how you stated you fired your psychiatrist!  No offense to doctors here, but that field in itself is a biggoted system and they do not look at it normally as if they are providing a service, it's true you are a number and social security line item to a lot of doctors (not all there are special ones but..) and not a customer, simply a patient.  I fortunately got to fire one pcp and when i had called their office i made sure to tell the nurse that i said he was "fired" she said excuse me what? i said you heard me i am firing him as my doctor for imcompetance! 
I'm sure she did not relay the message that way but it felt good to say it and if the prick would of gotten on the phone i would of told him myself! the short version-  Years, many years back i changed pcp's and stupidly told him right away of my issues without me even being that informed and he reacted poorly and basically said he would not prescribe me any meds but my blood thinner for hypertension?  I was like jerk.. and left right in the middle of the exam and later the next day called and said that.. Yes i called my benefits hotline and filed a complaint lot of bit it probably did though!
good for you DLT........
ricki