Society, whatever that is, and I would love a definition, does not accept people outside of that society. For example religious intolerance, racial intolerance, habit intolerance, sexual intolerance, I just don't like you intolerance. These are prime societal factors and have been throughout evolution, in all animals. We are perceived as different, therefore we are rejected by the majority. Why? Because we are different and therefore an evolutionary hazard to the majority in that society.

Cindy

The philosophy of General Semantics points out that people's image of themselves can be very fragile, and if anything affects their Self-Image they take it as a threat to their actual existence.  They confuse image with reality.

By inference the people in question regard anything that they can observe, that changes without their approval, as a threat to that self image. Even if it is not.  Effectively they want to have a veto over everyone they have contact with. If you change, then maybe they will change, and they won't be them any more.  It in many ways is a question of ego, and the wish to control.

For me, it wasn't about living as the "other gender".  It was about living in my correct gender, female.  It was before transition when I was living "in the wrong gender" because everyone saw "a bloke" and that was the biggest lie that ever existed.  I was never a bloke in spite of what my physical appearance showed.  Now my outside is female and matches what I've always been on the inside.  So for me transition and GRS were a way to affirm my real gender not "changing" it.

Quote from: justme19 on May 21, 2010, 01:44:52 AM
Title really says it all, i was just thinking today... what is really the big deal??? I can't think of any reason why?

Maybe because it's not the norm? But who really cares, life is it short, you should be living it how you want to....

i have no idea, people just are raised to believe that "toying" with your gender is a capital crime.

The most difficult thing for me was to accept myself.  One of the tools I used to keep this part of myself hidden was to convince myself how bad it was.   

Once I got past that, the occasional person that takes issue is easier to deal with.  (And it only took a little over 50years!)

People are raised to think that boys have penises and girls have vaginas.
Since that is true, most of the time, people can't imagine that it's possible for a boy to have a vagina or a girl to have a penis. They think we should just get over it because they are comfortable with their bodies and don't realize it doesn't work that way.

Quote from: Janet Lynn on May 21, 2010, 02:03:54 AM
And that makes it a big deal.  As I always say "No one in their sane mind would go through this on purpose"

OMG, I think I said this exact thing to my therapist last week.  I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

(Hypothetical)
My parents had a son.
My friends see me as one of the guys.
My wife married a man.
My children know me as dad.

When I change that I mess it up.  It is painful for them - like losing someone they loved.  I know, having transitioned I've seen the pain in their eyes.  Call it societal bias, but it doesn't change the pain it causes them.

Most men want to marry a GG and are repulsed at the idea of marrying someone who doesn't fit that mold.  Call that homophobia, but it doesn't change the reality of we are attracted to those whom we are attracted to.

or maybe because gender is viewed as a major part of our identities, and people shun someone who is changing theirs, because they feel like it makes them a bigger person, when really, they can't be feeling to confident in their own identities if they have to seek people like us out, and torment.

Quote from: interalia on May 23, 2010, 09:42:37 AM
(Hypothetical)
My parents had a son.
My friends see me as one of the guys.
My wife married a man.
My children know me as dad.

When I change that I mess it up.  It is painful for them - like losing someone they loved.  I know, having transitioned I've seen the pain in their eyes.  Call it societal bias, but it doesn't change the pain it causes them.

Most men want to marry a GG and are repulsed at the idea of marrying someone who doesn't fit that mold.  Call that homophobia, but it doesn't change the reality of we are attracted to those whom we are attracted to.

Do they see the pain in your eyes?

I still am waiting for the first person from my past ask me about my feelings.  All anybody wants to talk about is how this will theoretically affect everybody else.  I put myself through so much misery vainly trying to play the role I was assigned because I cared about these people's feelings.  When I reached the end of my rope and had to start caring about mine, however, I found out nobody was willing to return the favor.

I won't make the same mistake with these people again, and I certainly am not going to be worrying myself with the feelings of people that feel repulsed by me, for goodness sakes.  I find such people repulsive in their own right.

I am a girl. I always was a girl and now that I am living as one I feel natural and at peace. Many people don't understand that our condition is not chosen but hard wired and since they are happy in their physical gender they cannot understand why others are not so it is a big deal to them. I think it is a man issue because every woman I know is very supportive of my transition. Fortunately times are changing and although there will always be those who dislike us things are much better now.

Pam

My family is fairly religious, with both my parents having been raised as Catholics.  My Wife's family is even more so, with her grandfather being a (now deceased) ultra-conservative protestant minister (the type where Bush part deux was too liberal).  For all of them, this will be a huge huge huge deal.  My mom already knows, and has for about a decade but went into total denial for a really long time.  For all of these people, it really comes down to screwing with God's work.  (of course they don't know that my wife was a lesbian before we met.  How ironic.)

For me, I'm hoping to correct God's mistake.  Growing up, my mom always said "when it came time to get in line for common sense, you got in the wrong line."  Turns out I got in the wrong line for a vagina too.

Quote from: Jen on May 23, 2010, 04:42:34 PM
Do they see the pain in your eyes?

I still am waiting for the first person from my past ask me about my feelings.  All anybody wants to talk about is how this will theoretically affect everybody else.  I put myself through so much misery vainly trying to play the role I was assigned because I cared about these people's feelings.  When I reached the end of my rope and had to start caring about mine, however, I found out nobody was willing to return the favor.

I won't make the same mistake with these people again, and I certainly am not going to be worrying myself with the feelings of people that feel repulsed by me, for goodness sakes.  I find such people repulsive in their own right.

I didn't say they were right or wrong, but the OP wanted to know what the big deal was about changing sex - I listed a few very poignant reasons why someone might be against it.

EDIT:  As for me, most of the people in my life are keenly aware of my feelings.  I could be at a party, suddenly get down from my GID and start to shy away from others.  No sooner than that happens than a friend will come sit down next to me and ask, "Hey, Alex, are you alright?  Is your GID getting to you again?  Wanna talk about it?"  I'm lucky though to have surrounded myself with such people - but then again I've always been considerate of them and they are equally considerate of me.

Quote from: interalia on May 23, 2010, 09:29:11 PM
I didn't say they were right or wrong, but the OP wanted to know what the big deal was about changing sex - I listed a few very poignant reasons why someone might be against it.

I already gave an answer to the OP's question.  I was addressing your post, where I saw a familiar line of reasoning that has been used in many conversations that left me in tears.

I am just so finished with hearing about how I'm hurting people by just being myself.  I think it's only fair to weigh that supposed pain against my own.  I'm pretty sure the truth about me isn't taking anybody to the dark places it has taken me.

Anyway, yes I guess it struck a nerve with me is all.