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Birthday and feeling low

Started by tori319, May 22, 2010, 04:38:25 PM

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tori319

I turned 19 today, and I feel like its another year I've accomplished absolutely nothing,I'm still trying to find the right therapist and I still worry about about what people are going to say about me once I've transitioned I feel like time is running out and I'll never look passable.I'm just feeling really low.
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Janet_Girl

Ah to be having my 19th birthday.  ;D  Find the right therapist is a good goal.  But what others think is  plain their problem not yours.  Time is on your side and you have the rest of your life to enjoy the new and improved you.

Passably is all in the mind.  Your mind.  Makeup, FFS and everything else will never help if you first don't think you pass.  Do you think I pass?  You know what I could care less if you do or don't.  I DO!  and that is the difference.  I could care less if others think I pass or not.  I live for ME and no one else.

You are so young  and have such a long time to be you, try it at 54.  That was how old I was when I started.  So get up off your butt and DO SOMETHING about it.

Do I sound Bitchy?  Yes I do.  Only you can achieve what you want.  So get at it!

By the way it is all in love that I approached the subject this way.

Just do it already.

By the way  :icon_birthday:
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Robyn

Happy Birthday, Tori.

Wow! So young.

I know you and all the other younguns are anxious to transition, but, in truth, you have lots of time to spare. And you may need to use some of that unless you already have $50 to $75K or more in your SRS piggy bank.

Many of us transitioned later in life. I had my surgery at age 63 and pass just fine. No one believes I'm 73, and no one clocks me, either.

The big things are to enjoy the journey, to savor the relatively rare experience of living in two genders, and to save money like crazy, avoiding the wasters of smoking and drinking/clubbing.

As far as what people might say, remember this: What other people think or say about you is none of your business.

Robyn
When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take the step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for us to stand on or we will be taught to fly. — Patrick Overton
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confused

happy birth day
but wait till you turn 24 or 25
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sarahm

Quote from: tori319 on May 22, 2010, 04:38:25 PM
I turned 19 today, and I feel like its another year I've accomplished absolutely nothing,I'm still trying to find the right therapist and I still worry about about what people are going to say about me once I've transitioned I feel like time is running out and I'll never look passable.I'm just feeling really low.
I went through that same thing for pretty much all of my birthdays during my first puberty, I felt disconnected, would spend maybe 30 minutes around people then I would go into my room and get on my computer to escape life. It's very sad. But you know what? Once you go through the bad, you appreciate to good much more!
Keep your chin up!

BTW: Happy Birthday!!!
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V M

Happy Birthday Tori  :icon_birthday:

The current struggles you are dealing with now will only add to the sweet victory when the day is yours  :icon_chick:
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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tori319

Thanks everybody I feel better.
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rejennyrated

I hope you had a great day yesterday, and I wish you every success in finding the right therapist. My first one (whom I saw when I was 17) wasn't great either!

It took me until I was 24 to find one that was any good and as a result I ended up doing pretty well all of my transition (including my HRT - which these days even I would not recommend doing DIY on) without any support - but thankfully things worked out ok.

So don't worry you'll get there soon enough.
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Asfsd4214

Quote from: Janet Lynn on May 22, 2010, 04:55:14 PM
Passably is all in the mind.  Your mind.  Makeup, FFS and everything else will never help if you first don't think you pass.  Do you think I pass?  You know what I could care less if you do or don't.  I DO!  and that is the difference.  I could care less if others think I pass or not.  I live for ME and no one else.

That's great (and I'm not being sarcastic, I really think it's great), but I think you might be demeaning the term 'passing' to the point that it may as well not exist.

Reality does not always bend to our will. Pretending it does won't change it and neither will 'creative reinterpretations'.

It's a bit like saying "I'm a billionaire because I say I'm a billionaire". That's all well and good, but fact is you still only have a few grand in real peoples money.

Sorry to be so blunt, if you're happy with who you are, then there's nothing more important than that.

I just don't think redefining words to fit your desires is helpful IMO.

Passing is in every way a visual and audible thing. The way you look and the way you sound. It is at its very core, entirely superficial. That's my opinion anyway.

However, getting back on topic, tori319, I really understand what you're going through, I cried on my 18th birthday.

I know you didn't ask for advice, but my advice would be that with every action you do, make sure that you're taking the best course of action you can with the opportunities you have going on what you know at the time.

What I will say is HRT is pretty damn effective most of the time with people our age (I was 2 years older than you when was at the point you are now).

You'll never know unless you try, it's a gamble, a huge one, and I honestly wish you luck.  ;D
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justmeinoz

Happy Birthday!  Only one more year to go and you won't be a teenager any more!!! ;D
"Don't ask me, it was on fire when I lay down on it"
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jill610



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Rock_chick

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Janet_Girl

Quote from: Ashley4214 on May 23, 2010, 04:06:47 AM
That's great (and I'm not being sarcastic, I really think it's great), but I think you might be demeaning the term 'passing' to the point that it may as well not exist.

Reality does not always bend to our will. Pretending it does won't change it and neither will 'creative reinterpretations'.

It's a bit like saying "I'm a billionaire because I say I'm a billionaire". That's all well and good, but fact is you still only have a few grand in real peoples money.

Sorry to be so blunt, if you're happy with who you are, then there's nothing more important than that.

I just don't think redefining words to fit your desires is helpful IMO.

Passing is in every way a visual and audible thing. The way you look and the way you sound. It is at its very core, entirely superficial. That's my opinion anyway.

However, getting back on topic, tori319, I really understand what you're going through, I cried on my 18th birthday.

I know you didn't ask for advice, but my advice would be that with every action you do, make sure that you're taking the best course of action you can with the opportunities you have going on what you know at the time.

What I will say is HRT is pretty damn effective most of the time with people our age (I was 2 years older than you when was at the point you are now).

You'll never know unless you try, it's a gamble, a huge one, and I honestly wish you luck.  ;D

Emphasis is mine.

Actually I hate the word "passing", Ashley.  "Blending" is a lot better word.  And I will agree that passing is in every way a visual and audible thing.  And we must do all we can to make it happen and the most important is a mind set.  20 years ago I tried to transition and quit because I though I would never pass.  But this time I have little problems and the difference is the mind set.

I at least hope you had a decent birthday, Tori.  :D
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blackMamba

Quote from: tori319 on May 22, 2010, 04:38:25 PM
I turned 19 today, and I feel like its another year I've accomplished absolutely nothing,I'm still trying to find the right therapist and I still worry about about what people are going to say about me once I've transitioned I feel like time is running out and I'll never look passable.I'm just feeling really low.
Happy Birthday Tori!  I know it's hard to be patient with transition once you decide to do it, but that's the nature of the beast.  It really is a waiting game.  You have youth on your side, you may surprise yourself at how well you can pass.  Rome cannot be conquered in a day.  I hope you got to enjoy some birthday cake  :)

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MeghanAndrews

Happy Birthday Tori :)

I know you are going through a really, really hard time right now but try to do a lot of research and find examples of people (at all ages) that have accomplished EXACTLY what you are trying to accomplish. One thing I've found is that it probably won't do much good just trying to not listen to things your head is telling you. Become a student of transition, apply yourself, DO NOT let where you are now hinder you and prevent you from getting where you want to be. Would you be willing to work really hard toward something for five years to really put yourself in a position where you are happy? That's the kind of aptitude you'll need. You can pull this off with the right outlook, perseverance and sweat :) Meghan
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tori319

Thanks mamba and Mehgan yes I am willing to work on this however long it takes.
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MeghanAndrews

There's our girl :) Stay strong Tori, lean on all of us when you need to. Stand on the shoulders of those who came before you, just like we all did when we were transitioning :)
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