I want to go to the pool with one my friends who identifies as ftm. I'm not sure if he/she is ftm because he/she doesnt want any male characteristics and is comfortable with there body being female.

Any way he doesnt ever pass, I on the other had would prolly get slapped if I went in the womens, even if all i wear is a sports bra under my T-shirt. Which locker room should I use?

I'm worried because I can't pee standing up and it's rather hard to pull down wet and sticky trunks to use the toilet whereas if used the womens they wouldnt think anything of it, but would prolly kick me out of the pool center for "using the wrong restroom".

you can use either. no one will kick you out of the women's locker room, but why go there if you pass as a guy in the first place? men don't care what you're doing or wearing in the changing room and there's always actual toilets next to the urinals which you can use. it's not a problem at all. they're not monsters. it's not like a jail bathroom...

well ive almost been kicked out because i used the womens room in another area. I mean i can go in the toilet but dont most guys go in the urnals at the pool, to avoid the hastle of having to pull down there sticky trunks?

Also i dont want my friend to feel left out, but i also dont want to use the womens because its uncomfortable and akward for everyone. Also what if I know someone that knows my bio gender in the mens, wont that be kinda akward to?

It's all about what you feel comfortable doing.

Personally, I don't give a rats behind about going in the mens room. I just go in do my business and get out. The only time I don't use the mens restroom is during school which is because I don't use those restrooms.

From my experience men don't care, they just go in and do their stuff. It's not a chatroom or a social hangout if anything you will get a glance. I think the only way someone would really look hard at you is if it is a homosexual male checking you out, someone that you know (ie old friend), or you REALLY don't pass - as in you are wearing bright red lipstick, chest flying out, eye shadow, pink nails, and long hair with a headband.

Quote from: mcalistershaun on May 23, 2010, 06:11:36 PM
well ive almost been kicked out because i used the womens room in another area. I mean i can go in the toilet but dont most guys go in the urnals at the pool, to avoid the hastle of having to pull down there sticky trunks?

Not if they have to take a dump or if they can't pee standing up because of an injury.

True you cant take a dump standing up.

But what about my friend? He does not pass at all. I mean he wears his pants up to his chest and you can clearly see his very feminine figure not to mention he has a very feminine face. He doesn't no how to act in the bathroom either at least not to my knowledge.

What if someone I know is in there and confronts me?

Your friend can use whatever bathroom they feel comfortable with. You say that your friend is FTM but that you don't know if they are FTM.

Me, I just avoid using public locker rooms.

I don't go swimming, partially because of this stuff.

actually, not partially... but entirely

This person is rather akword last year he was a cat and went around biting ppl and meowing at them. He feels that he is trans but when I talk to him about it he says he doesn't want any male characteristics. He just doesn't like his chest, butbis comfortable with everything else. He's okay with having female organs it don't bother him. That's why I think he not really trans.

But if he knows who he is I will respect that and refer to him as he and his preffered name.

Ehrm...I don't think that being comfortable with your lower parts or not necessarily wanting more masculine charactaristics means you're not trans...

Eh, use whatever bathroom or locker room you want...or don't use 'em.

Social convention for peeing as a guy.
1: Silence.
2: Don't look at another guy.
3: Choose the furthest away unoccupied urinal... Cubicle's don't matter.
4: NEVER look at another guys thing.

It dosen't matter what you look like, Even if you have make-up long hair girl clothes as long as you follow those rules they will be innately abided by all other guys in the toilet.

True but I thought or I believe that if ur trans you feel that you are the other gender. Maybe he is trans IDK.

To me I feel that if you are comfortable being female then I feel your not trans, no direspect to anyone. But if living as a female doesn't bother someone then that person is a female in my eyes.

If a man claming to be MTF said he never wanted boobs and likes his penis and that he didn't want any female characteristics and was comfortable with being male, I would think he was just a man and wouldnt believe him to be trans. At the same time if he wanted to be refered to as she and a female name i would do it out of respect and i would treat her as a lady.

I really mean no disrestpect but ppl that dont want to take hormones or ever get surgery and are comfortable with being there gender dont seem trans to me. I can understand the surgery part because the results arnt that great.

Quote from: mcalistershaun on May 23, 2010, 07:17:52 PM
True but I thought or I believe that if ur trans you feel that you are the other gender. Maybe he is trans IDK.

To me I feel that if you are comfortable being female then I feel your not trans, no direspect to anyone. But if living as a female doesn't bother someone then that person is a female in my eyes.

If a man claming to be MTF said he never wanted boobs and likes his penis and that he didn't want any female characteristics and was comfortable with being male, I would think he was just a man and wouldnt believe him to be trans. At the same time if he wanted to be refered to as she and a female name i would do it out of respect and i would treat her as a lady.

I really mean no disrestpect but ppl that dont want to take hormones or ever get surgery and are comfortable with being there gender dont seem trans to me. I can understand the surgery part because the results arnt that great.

Gender and sex are not the same thing.

exactly true (referring to pebbles). at my favorite bar they wave the girls into the guys bathroom because the line for the girls bathroom is always so ridiculously long. the guys don't mind.

you and your friend can just split up. after all that's what a guy does when he goes swimming with a female friend.

if there's someone in the locker room that knows you they probably won't even recognize you because they're busy changing. if someone recognizes you they most likely won't confront you because they probably won't care much.

i feel so much more comfortable in the guys bathroom actually, because no one looks at you and judges you..

I know that but if say a FTM would rather use the womens room and wear womens clothes and be treated as a female then arnt they female. Im not talking about organs I mean if someone said they were comfortable with there gender being female then it doesnt seem that they are trans.

IDK, to me if you are comfortable with your sex and gender but maybe dont like ur boobs but want ppl to refer to you as the opposite gender, it's seems like you'd be doing it just for ->-bleeped-<-s and giggles. Which to me would be rather disrespectful.

I don't think my friend is like that though, I think he just want to fit it and figured if he went around as male ppl would want to be friends with him, IDK.

Quote from: mcalistershaun on May 23, 2010, 07:29:58 PM
I know that but if say a FTM would rather use the womens room and wear womens clothes and be treated as a female then arnt they female. Im not talking about organs I mean if someone said they were comfortable with there gender being female then it doesnt seem that they are trans.

IDK, to me if you are comfortable with your sex and gender but maybe dont like ur boobs but want ppl to refer to you as the opposite gender, it's seems like you'd be doing it just for ->-bleeped-<-s and giggles. Which to me would be rather disrespectful.

I don't think my friend is like that though, I think he just want to fit it and figured if he went around as male ppl would want to be friends with him, IDK.

Not necessarily. A person's gender isn't female. Their sex is female. I know trans identified people that were female assigned at birth who do wear dresses on occasion because that's what they want to wear, do clothes define the person's gender? I don't really think so. I know this one trans guy who pre-T had amazing long hair and wore dresses...does that mean he isn't a man? Nope...it's about identity.
There are plenty of people that I know are trans but can't/don't go on hormones or get surgery. It doesn't mean they're not what they truly are.

(to Kvall and Nygeel)
That makes sense thanxs. I just need to open my mind up. I know several cis men and women and there just like transmen and women there all diverse. Some cis men like to dress in drag but that doesnt make them more or less of a man.

It's people like you that open the minds of people to let them understand in another way. Wish there was more like you.

i'm not sure what your friend's gender identity has to do with which locker room you use

if you present male, feel you are male,  and have gotten weird looks and almost kicked out of the women's before, it seems obvious that you would use the men's.

Quote from: mcalistershaun on May 23, 2010, 06:59:55 PM
This person is rather akword last year he was a cat and went around biting ppl and meowing at them. He feels that he is trans but when I talk to him about it he says he doesn't want any male characteristics. He just doesn't like his chest, butbis comfortable with everything else. He's okay with having female organs it don't bother him. That's why I think he not really trans.

But if he knows who he is I will respect that and refer to him as he and his preffered name.

Whether your friend is ftm, Idk but he sure is interesting and maybe a little confused. 

If I were you, try to avoid the locker room as much as possible unless you've really got to go.

But on the other hand, it's good to face your fears and just go in there, when nothing happens as in weird looks, you've conquered your fear and will be okay to use them more frequently without a second thought.

Personally I'd never be caught dead in the women's bathroom. If anyone questions you, just give them an odd look and be like dude...I'm a guy. that's all. I'd recommend packing if you're swimming. Lots of guys use the toilet...we all gotta poop!