I'm not sure if this is the right place to put this, but since this is the general section, I figured it would be.
For some time now, my sister and my mother have both known that I'm transsexual, but they both still call me "she", "her", "daughter", "sister", my female name, ect. I've been pretty lenient knowing that (especially with my mother) it will take some getting used to before they start addressing me as Adrian (ect.). But its starting to irk me that they continuously call me by female names. Occasionally, my mother will call me her son or will tell people that she has two daughters and one son (if it comes up in conversation), but I haven't heard my sister call me anything but female names.
Should I start reminding/telling them to call me Adrian (ect) or should I just tough it out and wait until they start doing it themselves...?

hm ok well how long as it been?

I told my parents, family about 9 months ago.. and they did very bad with pronouns and name. but this summer I told my mom that I would be cracking down on them, i told my mom that I had given her 9 months w/o getting mad at her.. and now.. well they are doing much better, and most of the time when my mom calls me the wrong thing she puts her hand to her mouth.. acknowledging that she has made a mistake.

so.. If it has been a decent amount of time like you have said. tell them that they need to work on that now, and you have given them time to adjust, and now they need to try harder.  if they call you by your girl name.. dont answer.. and if they call you she.. give them a look, letting them know that you don't like it

thats what I did.

I'm struggling with the same thing. And it's starting to irk me.

What I told them way back upon coming out was that I knew it would be awkward at first, and I wouldn't mind it if they slipped up. But at some point I would mind it if it seemed like they weren't even trying.

Most of the family apparently took that as "we don't need to take this seriously." I'm still "he" and all the rest to most of them with no signs of ever changing. Ugh.

I will give you the same advice I'm telling myself in my own head but have yet to follow: It's time to make an issue of it, and explain its importance. Make it clear that the old pronouns sound like rejection. Old habits need to change because at some point - and not some theoretical distant future point -  eventually you can't take it as anything else.

I waited until I had been on T for a while and changes were kicking in.  But then, I started T and then came out (came out to my mom the day I had my T script in hand).  I don't see them often, so it was easy for them to forget.  My mother and 1 sister got it when they finally saw other people see and treat me like a guy, and at that time I explained transphobia and other potential issues.  They are doing much better now.

So it does depend on how long it has been.  Even in the best of circumstances it's hard for family to switch, as they have a long history and habit of using old names and pronouns (I know that if one of my kids asked me to call them a different name, that sometimes the brain doesn't engage until after the tongue has spoken) that it might take a while, but yeah, you should notice that they are making an effort or correcting themselves if they  misspeak.  They might need more time.


Jay

I talked to my mom about this a couple months ago

Not once has she referred to me as her son or anything Male when we're talking to people

I've just about given up on it, since I've told her about it a few times but she still doesn't do it. She either forgets, or isn't even trying. I don't know which one it is, and she gets testy when I talk about it with her (even though I try to bring it up in a somewhat friendly way) because she says she keeps forgetting

I'm just wondering "Why try since I'm getting no results"

I think one of the reasons she's not doing it is because she doesn't want my dad to hear her say it if he's around. But lately he's been evasive to the whole family so...maybe it won't be as hard anymore. But, I don't know if I should try talking to her about it again or just give it up

I talked to my mum a few weeks about the pronoun usage, and she freaked. She said she would call me her she girl, girly, daughter because thats what my two siblings know me as, and thats not gonna change anytime soon  . She also said that i shouldn't "blame her" for not using the right pronouns when I'm the one with issues. And all the while i just stared at her in disbeleif, waiting for her to finish ranting. Testy definately describes my mum. I would say, go for it! It can't hurt to ask her again. After all, other than being kicked out of the house, which i feel for something like this is not likely, what can possibly happen?

I think if you are out, as you gain confidence I think it is perfectly ok to correct people as it happens. I find myself doing that more and more with family. It does not have to be a big deal, and you can laugh about it. I sometimes roll my eyes and laugh at how manly I am, or say "I don't think I am much of a he anymore [poking out my chest]". I doubt they will do it themselves.

If you can do it in a relaxed way without being offended, just stating a fact, I think it should go well.

Aydans situation might be a little different because of the direct refusal. I think you have a right to be called what you want to be called. Perhaps a work around is to get everyone else calling you he in front of her - If you get your siblings doing it that negates her argument. A champion is a good thing.  It is funny how the ones without the issue have an issue with using the correct pronouns 

Calmly and politely correcting them every chance you get can help.

Just politely correct them. After knowing you as one name for so long, it'll be very hard to them to adjust to another.
I find that if you let people get away with it, then they don't make any effort to adjust at all. People often don't realise how much pronouns mean to us either, so if they're being particularly stubborn, just explain how you feel about it.

i have a great time if i go out with my partner and my mum. standing ina shop my partner shouts ' alex' to get my attention followed two minutes later by my mum shouting my female name. my partner consistently refers to me as he or him when we're out then mum talks about me as she or ' my daughter' i ve told her she'll sound pretty stupid when i ve got a beard but humour aside its doing my head in

I sent a picture of me to my mom every week with my name on it and politely corrected her every time she used the wrong pronoun. It took about six months and today my mom calls me her daughter.

My dad he embarrass himself by watching "the jerry springer show" one day. He was having a good time watching that show with that subject matter, when he sudden remember i was in the room watching him. He could of died right there on the spot and he never called me by wrong name or gender after that. I love my Dad.....

Great question.

At work people are doing a much better job now, 3 months later. A few people were returning employees who weren't with us when 'the memo' went out... it was funny, going up to them a month and a half after I came out at work, having no longer been hiding my boobs, and wearing my name clearly displayed on badge.

Me: Soandso
*holds up name badge, bounces in place, making boobs go up and down*
Me: I think you missed the memo. This name now.

I've been giving people a lot of rope regarding using the wrong name and pronoun. Most of these people have known me at least a year, if not 3. When someone uses the wrong name twice in a row, I discreetly remind them. If I do it on one mis-used name, EVERYONE launches into this big apology speech about how I'll have to give them time to adjust...which is what I told everyone when I transitioned in the first place. So it's not worth doing it on one slipup... yet.

Now when someone uses the wrong term/name like 5+ times in a conversation, I'll call them out on it pretty blatantly.

A lot of people catch themselves now, if they accidentally screw up. The smart don't get hung up on it and just let it roll, which is how I prefer it honestly. I don't WANT the big deal apology, I just want them to pretend it was like calling a Jason, "Mike" on accident.


Dad's called me by my girl name on and off... he used 'dear' to refer to me a few times last week. I figure once I get things completely sorted legally I'll crack down on my parents. Still no 'she' from him, and only rarely from mom. Of course, mom has a bias against me, believing that i'm not actually trans...

I would, but I'm relentless when it comes to people calling me the wrong thing. If they don't get it right and I know they're doing it on purpose, or even if they're not meaning to...I can get pretty nasty. To the point of if they do it in purpose...I don't care WHO you are, I'm not acknowledging that you exist.

But I wouldn't necessarily recommend that. Since they're family and all. Just correct relentlessly.