I sometimes run from my workplace to downtown, and there is an uphill 3-lane road before a tunnel. As the uphill road is curved, it seems dangerous to run along the sideline, but the pedestrian lane is very wide. In the tunnel, there is a safe, well protected pedestrian lane. A lot of cars pass there.

Anyway, whenever I run there, a car stops in front of me and turns on the hazard lamp, waiting for me. At first, I thought one of my colleagues was going home to see me, trying to say hello to me. But, the drivers were all strange men in their 20's. They always ask me whether I need a ride. Of course, I decline by gesture. In narrower roads, they tend to ask me for direction.

As I wear athletic short pants, it seems apparent to them that I am running for exercise. They are too kind, but stopping the car there is very dangerous as the road is curved. Actually other cars behind angrily honk as the car suddenly blocks their way.

And in the tunnel, some young guys on motorcycle looked back at me. This also looks dangerous.

When I told these episodes to my colleagues, women tend to express their envy of me, saying like "I actually wish to get such offers, but nobody asked me. It is sad." Men tend to say like I may be guilty for possible traffic accident, as I intentionally induced it. And all agreed that I seem to enjoy it. I just smiled.

Barbie~~

Hey, if you've got it, flaunt it I say   

Quote from: barbie on May 26, 2010, 10:46:50 AM
I sometimes run from my workplace to downtown, and there is an uphill 3-lane road before a tunnel. As the uphill road is curved, it seems dangerous to run along the sideline, but the pedestrian lane is very wide. In the tunnel, there is a safe, well protected pedestrian lane. A lot of cars pass there.

Anyway, whenever I run there, a car stops in front of me and turns on the hazard lamp, waiting for me. At first, I thought one of my colleagues was going home to see me, trying to say hello to me. But, the drivers were all strange men in their 20's. They always ask me whether I need a ride. Of course, I decline by gesture. In narrower roads, they tend to ask me for direction.

As I wear athletic short pants, it seems apparent to them that I am running for exercise. They are too kind, but stopping the car there is very dangerous as the road is curved. Actually other cars behind angrily honk as the car suddenly blocks their way.

And in the tunnel, some young guys on motorcycle looked back at me. This also looks dangerous.

When I told these episodes to my colleagues, women tend to express their envy of me, saying like "I actually wish to get such offers, but nobody asked me. It is sad." Men tend to say like I may be guilty for possible traffic accident, as I intentionally induced it. And all agreed that I seem to enjoy it. I just smiled.

Barbie~~

Barbie,
I think if a group of guys in a car stop to offer a person who presents as a women for a ride, they are doing so for their own sexual gratification. I suggest that they would rape you. This is not an occurrence that any one would want to go through, I assure you of that.
Obviously things may be different in South Korea but I think males are males anywhere.
Be careful. If you present as female you need to protect yourself as females do, no matter how unfair that appears.

Cindy

I'm having trouble trusting any men right now and have been trying to present male as much as possible all this past week

I definitely would not accept a ride from any strange young men

Quote from: Virginia Marie on May 28, 2010, 04:22:17 AM
I'm having trouble trusting any men right now and have been trying to present male as much as possible all this past week

I definitely would not accept a ride from any strange young men

Virginia,
I saw this after I pm'd you. DON'T give in to the bastards. Be yourself. Why try and present as male after you have come so far. Win the battle my sister. DON'T let the creeps rule your life.

Hugs and Hugs

Cindy

Cindy and Virginia,

Thanks for your concern on my safety.

Of course, I never accept such offers, as I do not want to shock and disappoint them.

This country was once shocked by a horrible serial killer arrested last year. One of victims accepted the killer's proposal of a ride.
http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/opinon/2010/05/164_39291.html

The victim's parents lamented and questioned how she could be such a stupid gril who accepts the ride offer because the car was luxury and very expensive.

However, actually such incidents are very rare despite media frenzy. A fact is that statistics showes most rapes are committed by victims' aquaintances, not by strangers, at least here in my country.

Many young women here can walk alone in the street even at midnight, but they never accept ride offers. Even they hesitate to ride in a cab because of the safey issue introduced in the above news article.

I can say that I am always safe as long as I am in the street. I can enjoy running outdoors even at midnight. But riding in a car of any stranger can be very dangerous. Probably those young guys who offered me a ride also know well this. When I was in male mode, nobody offered a ride, or asked a direction.

As so many cars pass everyday in the uphill road, if 1 among 1,000 drivers tries to offer me a ride, it can happen everyday. And in the beach, as many as 1 million people come here on a peak summer day. This means that if there is a psychopath per 1,000, I can potentially face as many as 1,000 psychopaths in the beach  .

Barbie~~

If it happens by chance: Feel flattered.
If it happens on a very regular basis, at the same place, with the same people, then something's amiss, I'd say... And I'd start worrying.

Men aren't nasty sex-offenders by default. If these people were women, I'd tell you exactly the same. It'd probably be safe if they were fish.

considerate people!

As I've stated in another thread recently, just be aware of your surroundings. I've had people ask me for rides, too. It is flattering but suspicious at the same time. It is suspicious because these drivers are failing to pick up on very obvious cues. If you actually wanted a ride you would be walking slowly down the street and looking at the traffic or waving your hands to try to get someone to give you a lift. The fact that you are purposely walking down the street and ignoring the traffic is proof that you clearly do not want or need a ride. The fact that they still stop and try to insist on a ride is for a simple reason: they don't want to give you a ride, they want you.

It is purely a sexual thing. I would go so far as to say it is misogynistic. You don't see women pulling over trying to pick up men who are walking down the street. Again, it is not because they think that a woman "needs" a ride. It is a form of predatory stalking disguised as help and assistance.

In any case, it is flattering to have men who are interested in and attracted to you. Regardless, don't get in the car and do your best to ignore them. If it is random I wouldn't worry to much. As someone else said, if the same people are constantly trying to give you a ride or you feel you are being followed, I'd be concerned at that point.

It is a shame society is like this and I'm sure this element of it is worse in the U.S. than in S. Korea. It is very rare in the U.S. to see women walking around alone late at night because of the danger. I am a strong advocate for freedom and the biggest freedom is the right to be left alone. You have the right to walk down the street for any purpose including exercise and not be bothered by people. You are not required to associate with anyone you don't choose to and nobody has a right to tell you what you can and cannot do. Good luck.

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Post Merge: May 31, 2010, 01:02:38 AM

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Quote from: Virginia Marie on May 28, 2010, 04:22:17 AM
I'm having trouble trusting any men right now and have been trying to present male as much as possible all this past week

Sorry to hear and I don't recommend this. The solution is to empower yourself by taking proper steps to live out your life on your terms, not someone else's, and taking the necessary measures to protect that. Living life as a victim accomplishes nothing. Good luck.

Quote from: Britney_413 on May 31, 2010, 12:56:24 AM
In any case, it is flattering to have men who are interested in and attracted to you. Regardless, don't get in the car and do your best to ignore them. If it is random I wouldn't worry to much. As someone else said, if the same people are constantly trying to give you a ride or you feel you are being followed, I'd be concerned at that point.

Right, Britney.

It is just interesting to see and feel in women's perspective. I did not know how ordinary women feel, see and face men in their everyday's life. Most men are kind and orindary, but some men look like wolves.

Today night, I started my running at a park and a strange man in a car behind me again suddenly asked me for a direction. Of course, I just ignored it, and he tried again to call me, but again I ignored it. The place is where people stroll and sightsee, and it is obvious that nobody there needs a direction. He did not ask any more, or probably he thought I were a foreign woman who does not understand Korean.

Men who offer me a ride are typically at their 20's whereas those asking me for a direction are at their 40 or 50's. Men at 40 or 50's know very well that no woman will accept their offer of a ride whereas young men seem to be confident, as they believe they would not disgust women. Old men just offer very trivial things whereas young men aks for something requring a serious decision by a woman. In any case, they just test a woman without violating social rules or laws. In this sense, they are very smart and reasonable.

An interesting thing I recently observed is that a couple can show interest in me.  When I run in a park, a couple behind try to pass me, and sometimes I run fast to pass them again. Occasionally man glances at me, despite the presence of his female mate or wife. It is mysterious how a woman would feel when her male partner shows interested in a strange woman in the street. Sometimes the guy try to sport with me, and his girl friend just giggles.

In any case, those men who stare at me all the time are mostly at their 50's or more. I do not like their look. It is rather disgusting, but I try to ignore it. Fortunately, some beautiful women also look at me, and I can enjoy such attention regardless of their age.

In the park today, I saw a tall, well-shaped foreign woman and I passed her. When I was turning back the way, I saw her sit  and read a book in a bench. Surprisingly, she was an old woman, and she also looked at me. We could exchange smiles, and simply I like it. It is certain I enjoy attention of women.

Barbie~~