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the other morning

Started by Phoenix, July 24, 2006, 10:29:44 AM

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Phoenix

i'd stayed up all night, and it was about 5/6 in the morning, and i felt like going out so i put on my new wedges, a brown skirt a purple hat and my pink backpack....i walked out of the house and aorund the block, it felt strange but extremeley good at the same.....and when i got back i didnt want to change i wanted to stay like it all day.....i thought that was the 4th time i've gone out like a girl and i wish i could do it more and not just in th early morning
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Robyn

Reminds me of my first trip to the mailbox - in the dark.  And my first walk around the block - at night.  Then there was the trip to the high school as a football game was getting out - in the dark.  Sigh

I'm glad they were in the dark, because I wasn't very well-dressed or believable back then.

My lord, that was only 10 years ago.  A diiferent lifetime. 

Happiness is being comfortable in your own skin.

Robyn

When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take the step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for us to stand on or we will be taught to fly. — Patrick Overton
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sheila18

is amazing how it begins,  there has been so many firsts ...and a wonderful journey.
I think th biggest thing is to do it  without the shame tht naasty emotional guilt hangoever. JOy, joy to be myself ...simple ...so powerful ... ;)
good for you phoenix
sheila18
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Buffy

Congrats...Phoenix

My first time out was a nightmare, I arranged to meet to girlfriends at a shopping centre and went by car. My nice start was ruined by having the car break down and the auto repair guy laughing at me, while taking me back home...

My friends eventually came and picked me up...

Buffy
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LynnER

Well, not counting the few times I was very poorly dressed useing garments I found in my grandmothers house (and that were extreemly dated) either wandering around the house or yard in my adolessance....

My first time actualy out I was terrified.... My GF (before she proposed to me so wasnt fience yet) took me shopping.... I was in guy mode but we went to the mall and she was going around clothing racks and grabbing things... looking at me and moveing on....

Turns out she was shopping for me LoL... ended up with some very nice outfits I still have and cherrish...

Anyways we went home and basicly I got ready and went out as me for the first time... My hair was a mess and I had no wig... so I wore a fuzzy hat..... I wore a long red skirt and a really nice top (which one I dont remember)  and one of those "natural bra" things to try and fake some semblance of cleavage on my skinny frame.  (Naturaly there bigger than those things now)

Well we went to this semi gay bar and as I said I was terrified.... And the security at the door totaly freaked me out looking me over when I presented my ID.  <Look for "Scarry" post to see that pic>  We ended up haveing a nice quiet evening in public and at the end of the night a really nice old guy came up to me and asked how I identified... CD or TS.... 

I was honest and he smiled and said  "Good for you, that takes guts"  He bought me a rose.  "A pretty flower for a pretty girl"

After that night stopping wasnt an option.... even though Ive had some less than pleasurable experiances sence then.
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sheila18

after all the experiences, sweet and sour and whatever  I still like to go out early in hte morning and enjoy the peace, specially when i've done it several mornings in a row. cup of coffee and a scone or cashmir chai
sheila18
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Phoenix

i would really love to live somewhere where theres a pavement outside and no other houses, so i can walk aorund looking like i want to and not have to worry about getting changed or abused.....

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Ricki

I've sneaked out but am no where near a rate of thinking i could pass, looks and voice, etc..Especially with people.
I did get busted a few times the one time years and years back i was in a tiny little out of the way motel and i without really thinking or assuming someone would be on the other side of the door i opened the door to the room and HOLY COW there was an older guy standing right there 2 feet from me I think i gave him a heart attack slamming the door shut my heart was racing i was scared, then worried, excited a whole rush of emotions ensued!
but that does not mean dressing up is not fun i guess we all can easily lose ourselves in a mere 24 hours that way i have... then the next day comes and i wonder what happened to the last...
I used to get away a lot more but work, time contraints, money and other vital hobbies prevent the weekend getaways i used to do!  Had a bad experience in a big hotel one time really was a mess that should be another post like most embarrassing moment ever!
Ciao~
R
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ssindysmith

I was home alone, everyone was in another state visiting family I could not get out of work so two weeks by myself. After about two days of lounging about in different outfits, I decided I was tired of cooking, hooped in the car and went to the drive thru, that went well so later that night I tried to do some grocery shopping, that too went well, as the evening progressed I found myself in the downtown area clubbing I had a blast, turned some heads (my red mini dress will do that :) ) I was on clouds until back to work........ and back to drag (when I dress male I consider myself to be in drag)
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Ricki

Even though I'm not transitioning I've wanted to but would be terrified, god thing i am not an adreneline junkie or i'd be running to the sheets at 3:00am in drag looking for coffee and a young clerk to acknowledge me! HAH.....
Mayeb i'm better off with my dogs?
r
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Laurry

I understand...I went out the other night for the first time without my beard (no wig, but breast forms, makeup, nails polished--I just love it!)...just couldn't work up the courage to get out of the car and do my shopping.  I did go in the drive-thru lane at McDonalds.  The guy at the window ma'am'd me...I was feeling pretty good until I got sir'd as I got my food...sheesh

I know wearing the breast forms in public scares me (but I'm not giving up), and for some reason, wearing lipstick seems to push me over the edge...not sure why that is, but I think it is the fact that with my hair longer and no beard, the lipstick makes me look very feminine (to me) and knowing I stand no hope of passing, it seems kinda pointless.  Anyway, that is how I feel about it today, but things have been changing lately and I like the way they are going...more freedom to be me and less worry about what other people think.

I still, however, only go out my front door in the dark when I am dressed as Laurie.  Some problems I just don't need to deal with right now.

This thread is very interesting, as it seems a lot of us are in similar places on our journies.  It 's nice to hear of the successes of the others, but also to hear from those of us that are not as far along and struggling with just what "right" is for "me".  What makes each of us feel best and takes care of our needs?  What problems or issues MIGHT we face along the way, (the old fear of the unknown thing)?  It's nice to know that there are lots of us in the same boat...makes me feel a little better about things.

Just a wandering soul on the road to happiness, wishing it came in the form of unlimited calories

....Laurie     
Ya put your right foot in.  You put your right foot out.  You put your right foot in and you shake it all about.  You do the Andro-gyney and you turn yourself around.  That's what it's all about.
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Ricki

Laurie i agree nice comment at the end... 4-ever looking or searching!
Breast forms speaking of one of my wanna buy things(i have inserts and cheaper foamies-not the good 200.00 ones) but i want to get good ones $$ Cha-Ching!  even though i will not be publicly wearing them much.  I want to mimick the realness as much as possible to see what its like........
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