In my personal battles and a whole mess of self analysis and self awareness I've come to the conclusion that dysphoria emanates from unrealistic expectations. Being a gender other than what I was born as has a major impact in my life that touches every element of my daily life. That said, I want to give more on my conclusions to those that may be in the same frame of mind as I.

Think of it like this. On a scale of 1 to 10 on the gender spectrum (1 being the opposite of what you feel inside conforming to society and 10 is 100 % full output of being a transexual/transgender) where are you? 1? 5? 10?!

I found that when I was in the "10" range I was fully obsessed with being a girl and it consumed every moment of my life and "1" was total depression near suicide.

I began to reason with myself about what it would take to find happiness. I remembered a time in the 90's I was unaware I was a transgender and just LIVED how I felt! No BS or complications! I was happy! But somewhere the works got complicated. I grew a brain and started to over anylize things.

Is ignorance truly bliss? No! I had to learn. I have this way of giving too much energy to this girl inside me which is just as disastrous as ignoring her completely. Why? Because on the gender spectrum of "10" I was giving everything I had to substantiate her existence as myself. This led to unrealistic expectations, delusional thinking amongst other things. Why this counts is because unrealistic expectations lead to disappointment and enough disappointments lead to despair! You can't change people! You can't make people love or perceive you the way you would like! And when on the scale of "10" on the gender spectrum that's what I was doing! So much like so many here complain about. They complain and are often hurt over things they are powerless to change as far as people are concerned. Happiness resides in our love of ourself and our outlook. I'm no where near perfect, but it's a start.

Take the woman or man inside of you down a peg or two and live life! I'm down at level "8" on the gender spectrum. This means I can still move mountains and have a crap load of energy to keep life in order. Yet keeping my thoughts in check as to not lead to unrealistic thinking and obsessions. Self awareness is a lot of work but gets to be automatic in the sense you begin to catch your self and make the necessary changes before your mind is too far gone on any given thought process.

Check back, I may modify this post! lol

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you're just awesome... argh society.. messing with people
its okay.. be who you are... find someone who can see the real you, they are out there, but also be open to other people, maybe they have their own 'thing' that they've been trying to do, and never could build it up, its hard to find, but i think we as beings living together on earth gotta help eachother find that stuff, and bring it out, the beautiful and free true side of ourselves... however it happens, it takes... well, what does it take, everyone has their go at it, in the end its like fishing mayhap?
i fished once, caught one boot.. stereotype or what haha then my spirit dispersed and was free and i had nothing to do with that... it was funky

im a 72

I think I understand your analysis. I think many might understand it purpose.

I am grateful to you for sharing it. But I get the feeling it's conclusions are a little all embracing, perhaps verging on dogmatism.

Each of us needs to find our own way. It is right and proper that we try to share our expereince. But equally, we need to be aware that we will each find the path that brings us the most comfort.

For many, the hope, the dreams and ambition are a necessary source of energy to keep going.

For others, their own paths, perhaps closer to their own pattern of thinking are funtioning well.

Am I allowed a different number for each day; come to think of it perhaps different numbers for each day?  Some days, I am a 2 or 3, comfortable and secure in my role in society, with hardly a thought for my other self.  Other days, I a am a full-blown 10, where practically all I can think about is putting on a dress, makeup, and letting my hair down.  Sorry, I can't maintain one level.

Rose

Quote from: scarboroughfair on May 29, 2010, 04:53:06 AM
I remembered a time in the 90's I was unaware I was a transgender and just LIVED how I felt! No BS or complications! I was happy! But somewhere the works got complicated. I grew a brain and started to over anylize things.

  I don't understand this part. I can imagine, but not in relations to myself even remotely. I've wanted to be a girl obsessively ever since I knew the difference between boy and girl. Extremely young. My mom and relatives let me go about in dresses inside when i was like 3 or something -- then when i got older it wasn't cute anymore. I can't dissociate or decrease my gender dysphoria because i don't have a safe haven in society to dip into, besides the wall i've built. I have no hair to let down-- sort of speak. In fact my gender dysphoria is the only thing I have to hold onto that keeps me sane. Isn't that ****ing ironic.


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