I mentioned to my mum about cutting my hair, and my dad.. well. He doesn't like that idea. He said that it was 'short enough' and that if I cut it he would leave me with no internet. He kept saying 'not good, not good' a number of times. My mum said to him something like 'let her cut her hair if she wants, no big deal. she'll either come around or she won't' and then I heard my dad say 'okay then, give me a gun, I'll either shoot somebody or I won't' like that is a good comparison.
He also said I talked to 'weirdos on the internet' and that it was 'the Internet's fault'. He really doesn't like the idea of me becoming male at all, and my mum just keeps hitting me with 'well what if you regret it?/you will regret it' and 'because you're young you don't have any experience of the world, you don't know how to pay bills so you obviously don't know what you're talking about'. If my dad is so against this why did he even bother to buy my binder for me? I really want to start going out more too, but I'll only do that as male, and my parents won't let me look how I want to right now. I don't really have anyone off-line that I can talk to about this (who is understanding and supporting) so I'm kind of stumped and lonely. I'd like to go see a psychiatrist/gender-specialist about this but I have no means of transport/no money and I'm sure my dad wouldn't take me there just so they could confirm it.

Honestly, it's just hair. I think you should just cut it off.

But I do not know your parents or how they would react, so you have to do what you feel is best

Find a picture of an androgynous haircut on a woman. Say you want it cut in that style. He may be more receptive if he thinks it's a "feminine" cut.

Quote from: Osiris on June 02, 2010, 05:29:28 PM
Find a picture of an androgynous haircut on a woman. Say you want it cut in that style. He may be more receptive if he thinks it's a "feminine" cut.

Agreed.
They tend to not care as much when the haircut is on a female and I'm sure you could find a picture of a boyish cut on a girl.

The fact that he bought you the binder is a good sign though, hopefully things will get better with your parents.

This is about more than just hair. I agree with ƃuıxǝʌ that the best thing you can do is to move out and become financially independent then transition. Some people are so against transition that they will fight anything you do about it. Maybe they will come around, but why take the risk when waiting a couple of years will make it easier on you. Transition is hard so why make it harder?

I agree both with vexing and greg. However I know it can be especially hard having to conform your look to what other people want when something as simple as cutting your hair can really help with the dysphoria.

Definitely don't rush your transition if you're in a bad environment to do so. Make sure you can get to a stable place so that you can undertake such a thing. As Greg said, transition is hard enough as it is you don't need other external factors making it more difficult.

Quote from: Osiris on June 02, 2010, 05:53:36 PM
I agree both with vexing and greg. However I know it can be especially hard having to conform your look to what other people want when something as simple as cutting your hair can really help with the dysphoria.

Actually I was quite dismissive of getting your hair cut and I apologise for that. I know that for me having my hair short for the first time was a very big deal for me and it did ease my dysphoria considerably.

I dunno. Things have gone pretty fast since actually telling them. If they do come around, they would only end up getting abuse from my sister for 'encouraging it'. Moving out isn't an option for at least another year, and not having any qualifications won't help me get a job. Plus my dad tends to play down how wrong he feels this is for me.

My hair isn't too long at the moment though, but it doesn't help.

I just realised that ƃuıxǝʌ is vexing upsidedown. Don't I feel like a dumbass

Some possible options that could help are things like what has been said about looking for an androgynous or somewhat feminine short cut (a pixie cut is pretty short and can be made more masculine). The other option...which is something I wanted to do to give my parents good reason for me to shave my head was to do it as a way to fund raise for cancer research. I know it's a really hard buy and a completely shaven head isn't so wonderful but it's one way to go about getting a short hair cut (namely a shaved head) and can help others, too.

My parents would never buy that, seriously. Plus I'm bad at enforcing things, and I don't really want it /that/ short..

You could get a ballcap to tuck your hair under when you go out.  I did that for awhile.

Slowly trim the edges of your hair. Do it slowly so they don't notice.

Yeah, I know it's bad advice but I wanted to throw it out there anyway. Ignore it.

My mum and dad still think the same thing! They are blaming some very nice friends I made over the internet for "changing me". Over time they became really good friends, some of the best friends I actually have and my mum and dad rarely let me see them because they hate my friends for nothing!!! 

Your situation kinda sounds similar to mine, kinda! I had the haircut problem too, it sucked! One day I just pretended to be sick, stayed home from school, rode my bike down to the hairdresser and just got it cut how I wanted it for once in my life, hair dye (my mum said I couldnt get my hair dyed till I was 18 grrr) and all When my parents came home, there was nothing they could do. They were kinda angry, and again I lost their trust...which I still havent "earnt back", who cares. But its not like they could glue back my hair on or anything My mum was just like "itll grow back in 3 weeks" but I think she got used to and liked it, cause I was allowed to get it cut again when the style kinda grew out 

I agree with the idea of the Androgynous hair cut idea! I can just imagine how frustrating you must feel right now It really does get better, it does 

the androgynous haircut is a great idea.. or if all else fails you could "accidentally" fall asleep while chewing gum. 

do you really have to tell them why you'd be seeing a therapist? if you have insurance, why not just find a therapist that's has trans exp and is covered, and then tell your parents you're depressed or having problems at school or something? just having someone to talk to face to face helps.