Quote from: ƃuıxǝʌ on June 01, 2010, 09:19:59 PM
If it's any consolation, my parents are fundies in the opposite direction. They're atheists and biological essentialists who believe that I'm just crazy and need to be fixed with therapy - no matter how extreme that therapy may be.
Fortunately I signed my enduring power of attorney over to my boyfriend, so that they can't commit me to a mental institute.

While what you had to do is understandable it is absolutely apaling that it is sometimes necessary. The science religion types are, if anything, even more dangerous as they can sometimes get the law on their side.

Squirrel.

I normally avoid criticising the religious beliefs of others. But what these people are doing is completely self centred. They are behaving as if they are the ones sufferring. Woe to them.

Please take care of yursef and your family. Grab your husband and tell him that no matter what, you need his absolute support now and he has yours.

Seems like you might need to cleanse yourself after so much bad energy. What I mean is maybe having no contact at all (not even emails) until they disappear, and then maybe something symbolic with you and your kids to move forward. 

You're very brave.. I don't know how you are doing this.  It makes me sick just reading about it.  Your mom is ill.. if I were you I would not engage at all. Nothing. 

But hey man, stay strong.  You have no reason for shame, and you don't have to take that kind of ->-bleeped-<-.

See, here's the thing.
Based on what you've told us, I would think that there is some chance that she will take legal action to try and take the kids.
IF she attempts to do so, she might lie and lie big.

What you should do is be honest in that case, and I do believe it will help if you keep track of "everything" that she tells you. Be it in email, mail, over the phone et cetera.
Get a folder going.
Document the madness!
Just in case you have to prove just how much madness you've had to deal with at her hands, the sort of madness your kids would have to deal with if she'd have her way.
So that you're perfectly equipped to show, clear as day, that they are better off with you.

Also, I'd make sure they aren't ever left unwatched.

You never know just how far extremists will go.
I'd hate to read a quick message on the forum where you're telling us that you'll be afk a while due to your mum kidnapping her grandchildren.

That has to be hard, someone being damaging to you out of love for you. Like a stream being directed the wrong way.

Thanks for your concern Miniar and everyone else.  I am actually worried about the same thing.  Kidnapping or using the state against me.  My partner and I both are.  We have changed the locks and the electrical key punch system on the garage.  Believe me we have saved every insane email.  We have altered the schools to keep their eye out and we are keeping a close eye on the boys. 

I would like to say that in these last few weeks she has become a different person, but that wouldn't quite be true.  She has always been manipulative and controlling of me.  This is just the first time I have actually fought back.  The more I resist the worse it gets as she can't take losing her hold on me.  This is only because I really don't think I have a choice.  I need to be who I am.  There is no other option.  I've had some hardships in my life that prepared me for this I suppose.  Just something else to get through but I can do it.  I know I can.

Quote from: Squirrel698 on June 02, 2010, 05:51:56 PM
I know I can.

Yep

I would be seriously tempted to move and not leave a forwarding address.

Quote from: jmaxley on June 02, 2010, 09:08:18 PM
I would be seriously tempted to move and not leave a forwarding address.

Thats how I would handle it

Quote from: Squirrel698 on June 02, 2010, 05:51:56 PM
Thanks for your concern Miniar and everyone else.  I am actually worried about the same thing.  Kidnapping or using the state against me.  My partner and I both are.  We have changed the locks and the electrical key punch system on the garage.  Believe me we have saved every insane email.  We have altered the schools to keep their eye out and we are keeping a close eye on the boys. 

I would like to say that in these last few weeks she has become a different person, but that wouldn't quite be true.  She has always been manipulative and controlling of me.  This is just the first time I have actually fought back.  The more I resist the worse it gets as she can't take losing her hold on me.  This is only because I really don't think I have a choice.  I need to be who I am.  There is no other option.  I've had some hardships in my life that prepared me for this I suppose.  Just something else to get through but I can do it.  I know I can.

our mothers are the same. My mom has serious control issues. I compare her to the mother in Mommie Dearest. Everything about her is superficial so all of her emotional BS is thrown on me. People like us always have to remember that we are not owned by our parents. God is the Father. Yes, our parents bring us into this world but we're all spirits. We're a giant family. Going through this transition won't be a lesson just for you but also for her.

I am still having hell with my mom. She's now getting her friends to email me. Apparently everyone thinks I need serious psychological help. haha well good thing I'm 8 1/2 weeks on T. Nothing is stopping from moving forward now no matter how hard it may be.

keep moving forward!!!!

What has me worried is the concept some of the fanatics have that as long as they save your soul anything and everything they do to attain that is justified and god sanctioned. That is a dangerous brew.

Please dude, if you have the time to go get a restraining order do so. Soon.

Quote from: Squirrel698 on June 02, 2010, 05:51:56 PM
Thanks for your concern Miniar and everyone else.  I am actually worried about the same thing.  Kidnapping or using the state against me.  My partner and I both are.  We have changed the locks and the electrical key punch system on the garage.  Believe me we have saved every insane email.  We have altered the schools to keep their eye out and we are keeping a close eye on the boys. 

-.- Good. I do hope the precautions aren't "needed".


*hugs*

Thanks everyone.  I am actually feeling better today.  I went to visit my own church and my own paster last night.  I live about an hour away from my parents so we attend different churches.  Which is another reason this whole thing is so messed up.  I haven't even meant the people who are fasting for my benefit.  They don't even know me. 

Any rate with my own paster he was bewildered but willing to listen to me.  Interested in my position and the journey I have been on to reach this conclusion.  He didn't condemn me and says I am welcome to continue to visit the church.  He can't promise every one of the members would be as open but that's to be expected among the older generation.  He referred me to a man who works with the GLBT community to help build bridges and not walls between parents and GLBT children.  Right now I want nothing to do with my parents but perhaps some point in the distant future I might give him a call.       

You're a strong man Squirrel. Just do as everyone says and document all her madness and threats. That way if legal action needs to be taken you have your arsenal. I have a feeling that the courts would take you more seriously if you can prove your mother and her friends' threats, manipulation and fear mongering (yes, that's what it is).

It's good you alerted your children's school and took safety measures. If you feel you need to issue a restraining order don't hesitate. There have been much less controversial situations where the children were kidnapped by family and never seen again. Don't let that happen- no matter what.

maybe instead of playing defense with you parents you should start playing offense.. here in Fl if you've told someone to stop calling/emailing you and they continue to that's harassment, and grounds for a restraining order/harassment charge.. if you not only have harassing emails, but police documentation, even just an incident report... then God forbid if they do take you to court for custody you'd be in much better standing (then again this is just what I'm finding out from helping my sister with her ex-bf sperm donor). either way best of luck to you.

Quote from: jmaxley on June 02, 2010, 09:08:18 PM
I would be seriously tempted to move and not leave a forwarding address.

That's what I did when I was 16. It wasn't even gender issues that triggered my mother's manipulative-control-freak meltdown, and it wasn't even complicated by religion. Some people are just like that. It's toxic. At least you're an adult, you can avoid being sucked in.