My mom says I'm obsessing over being trans.  I do admit, it's on my mind constantly.  And I have been diagnosed with OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) in the past.  I don't know if this is normal.  I thought, well, maybe I should take a break from the internet for a couple of days.  It's there all the time though...getting dressed, peeing, cringing when I get called m'am.  Even when I forget about it, a plethora of reminders crop up during the day.  Anyone else experience this?

I've been through that, and I'm sure several people here have and still do go through that. It can be easy to obsess over it especially when you're starting out figuring out who you are and what you want to do with your life. But over time it should dissipate.

For a time it kind of consumed me and I started spending more time researching hormones and surgeries as well as hanging out here and other sites where I was known as a dude instead of actually getting out of the house and doing stuff. That's not a great place to be. Even if people aren't seeing you for who you are right now you can't let that stop you from being you and working towards your goals.

I find the more I just be myself the less I think about needing to transition to do what I want.

dont worry dude.. I am ALWAYS thinking about it

remember in mean girls.. when Cady says "I could feel people getting annoyed with me, bu I couldnt stop" I am ALWAYS talking to people about being trans, I try to keep it to a minimum, but I cant stop talking about it.

I always find myself thinking about it, thinkign about my future.. I just kinda wish I could get it off my mind.. but I cant.


I used to have very servere OCD.. and I think its still pretty bad.. Im just so used to it, that it doesnt seem bad.

anyway, Im glad there are other people who feel obsessed too though.

The whole coming out/transition process is very consuming.  It's normal.  Once you've transitioned and are pretty much living as your true gender, you tend to forget about it and just go about your regularly scheduled life.

The only part I think about now is my impending lower surgery.  Excited but also scared ->-bleeped-<-less.


Jay

I do that.

...but then, I have a bit of an obsessive personality. I always have. I zone in on one thing and focus on it until I feel I've focused on it enough (which may be in a day, or may be in a number of years, depending on the topic). I usually have one or two very specific things I obsess over at any given point in time-- for much of elementary school, it was bugs and Pokemon. Currently, it's trans issues. When the "obsession" stage ends, the topic is still an important part of my life, but it becomes more integrated and less CONSTANT. I still love bugs, for example-- a favorite summertime hobby of mine is looking for and photographing them-- but it's been a long time since the days when people couldn't carry on a conversation with me for more than 5 minutes without bugs coming up. XD

And I don't think that's an altogether unusual way for human minds to work. It's not an "everyone does this" type thing, but it seems to be one of many fairly ordinary, functional ways for brains to work. I'm sure once things settle down and I figure out what I'm doing with myself, trans issues will take a back-burner in my life as well. For now, I'm fine with focusing on whatever is most prevalent in my life (in this case, trans issues) and getting that sorted out. As long as I'm able to keep enough of a balance that i don't interfere with the rest of my life (college, in particular) or drive the people around me completely bonkers, I see no harm in letting my brain do it's thing.

That being said, I do feel like I'm irritating people, sometimes... but I've always felt that way when I catch myself talking for a liiiittle too long about an obsession of mine. When I get that feeling, all i have to do is shift the conversation to a different subject so my conversational partner's eyes don't glaze over. x3


EDIT//

Oh, and as Jay pointed out-- the coming out/transition process IS a pretty all-consuming process, which just adds to the obsession-complex. Still, though, it's not permanent. Eventually, things settle down and become more a part of the natural flow of life.

I think it is perfectly normal.  I am always thinking about trans issues and gender, and I have been on fulltime for a few years.  I view my trans experience as a part of me.  Growing up I had to deal with crushing dysphoria so I thought about being a girl and people not seeing me that way nonstop.  I couldn't escape that feeling.  Now that I have transitioned, the dysphoria is gone but that experience occupied a large chunk of my life that it is a part of me.

Sometimes I worry that I think about trans issues and the like so much, because I feel like I have been in transition too long.  I wonder if I will feel differently if I took hormones and had the surgery in a span of only two years if I would think about transgender stuff all the time. 

I also think this is totally normal. In many ways the feelings are at the core of our lives. The desire to be is very strong.

It might sound daft, but don't worry about it. Many people who are not TG won't get it.

Cindy, Now where did I put my bra? Ooops it's on my boobs

Quote from: jmaxley on May 31, 2010, 08:43:36 PM
My mom says I'm obsessing over being trans.  I do admit, it's on my mind constantly.  And I have been diagnosed with OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) in the past.  I don't know if this is normal.  I thought, well, maybe I should take a break from the internet for a couple of days.  It's there all the time though...getting dressed, peeing, cringing when I get called m'am.  Even when I forget about it, a plethora of reminders crop up during the day.  Anyone else experience this?

That is basically just another dismissal. In the same category as, 'You're too young', 'You'll get over it', 'You're a pervert' and so on.

As for being diagnosed with OCD. I've worked with people suffering from OCD. The features of this condition are that they continually obscess on a specific issue to the absolute neglect of all other. They frequently don't wash, don't eat, don't drink, they can't concentrate on anything.

A published case study, for example, a woman who continually washed her hands. Her skin was raw. She was unable to sit of the toilet long enough and was covered in what have you. She wasn't eating except what her husband fed her while she stood there.

Another published case study was a man who couldn't walk more than a few feet from his front door without going back to check if it was locked. He was OK if he went back inside. But some others like this, even inside, they are continually checking to make sure they locked the door.

So, unless you had symptoms, even a mild version of this, then take my word for it, you don't have OCD.

What you did have was a charlitan psychotheripist who saw a bunch of mugs with money to spend.

So, relax. You're fine. Concentrate on the isue at hand. Think about your life and how you want to live.

And remember, it's your life. You don't need permission from anyone. Least of all a mdeicine show charlitan who would sell their parents to get some cash.

Relieved to know I'm not the only one. 

Quote from: CindyJames on June 01, 2010, 04:25:08 AM

Cindy, Now where did I put my bra? Ooops it's on my boobs

Ha.  I've done that with my glasses.

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Post Merge: June 01, 2010, 09:39:40 PM

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Quote from: spacial on June 01, 2010, 05:43:27 AM
That is basically just another dismissal. In the same category as, 'You're too young', 'You'll get over it', 'You're a pervert' and so on.

Yeah, my mom keeps telling me it's just a phase.   

When I was working in a lab we had a true obsessive. He had to check the temperature of every incubator and water bath before he could leave. Sadly some evil people would wait until he was at the door ready to leave and then open an incubator  . He would start all over again.
He is now a psychiatrist 

Cindy

Mine is symmetry. I am bugged really bad by things that are asymmetrical, so I have to redo my walls or let them be nakey. I also comb carpet fringes, they have to lay straight.

I've gotten better tho. The cure was a tad painful however and I don't recommend it.

I was wondering what are good obsessions?

Bill Gates: I must keep my bank account above $50,000000000000000000000000?

Young son: I must keep my room clean?

Teen daughter: I love short showers!

Cindy: I hate clothes shopping.

Hee Hee
Cindy

Quote from: CindyJames on June 02, 2010, 04:33:32 AM
I was wondering what are good obsessions?

/quote]

Managing your bank account while saving for SRS?

as an artist I am quite obsessive over my work. I've always believed that even minute details are important. I think being a bit obsessive in that way is actually a good thing. I prefer however to think if it as being "perfectionist"

Quote from: FairyGirl on June 02, 2010, 05:01:12 AM
as an artist I am quite obsessive over my work. I've always believed that even minute details are important. I think being a bit obsessive in that way is actually a good thing. I prefer however to think if it as being "perfectionist"

There are times when perfectionist and obsessing are the same thing just seen from 2 different points of view. It is not necessarily a bad thing as it results in some beautiful artwork in your case.

Quote from: FairyGirl on June 02, 2010, 05:01:12 AM
as an artist I am quite obsessive over my work. I've always believed that even minute details are important. I think being a bit obsessive in that way is actually a good thing. I prefer however to think if it as being "perfectionist"

Being a perfectionist and being obsessive are 180 degree different. One wants to improve the other cannot.

?
Cindy

??

I'm obsessively perfectionist

I see what you mean Cindy, and you're right. Sometimes I feel being obsessive is required though in order to maintain a certain level of quality.

When I developed software systems, I was obsessive.  One of my evaluations said I was slow but accurate (or something ).  Case in point – I took twice as long as they expected to develop a system, but it was still being used without revisions 10 years later, even keeping a stock of older computers to run it on.

I sometimes think it is good that I retired, though, because as Kate I am far less obsessive.  (I'm unobsessive?)  I think that before I was just wrapped so tightly because it was such effort pretending to be a man that I carried that into other areas of my life.  But now the wrappings have come loose.

But to get back to jmaxley (sorry for the hijack), I think it is perfectly normal for transition to take up most of your emotional energy.  This is a BIG DEAL and takes a lot of work and affects your whole life.  Of course you are obsessing about it.

- Kate

Quote from: K8 on June 03, 2010, 07:31:59 AM
I think it is perfectly normal for transition to take up most of your emotional energy.  This is a BIG DEAL and takes a lot of work and affects your whole life.  Of course you are obsessing about it.

- Kate

That's a really really good point.

I think that being obsessive and being trans go hand in hand... It is not something that getting off the internet will change; though it is always good to take a break from it for other reasons.  Being trans is, in my opinion, a persistent feeling or knowledge that one's core being is the opposite gender.  Being persistent, in this regard, comes pretty close to being obsessive.  The point is, what one would label as "obsessiveness" is in fact what comes hand in hand with being trans in most cases.  If you get off the internet and suddenly feel different, like your mother wants you to do, I think that would be a very rare occurrence indeed!