Okay, so today I had a "one small step in the overall view of things, one giant leap for forallittook."  I dressed up as my internal gender (female), and made myself as passable as humanly possible (the whole shebang!).  This past week my goal has been to take a drive as female, and I ended up doing just that.  I started to pull out of the garage and driveway when I saw that my neighbors were outside! I then quickly pulled back into my garage, and waited for like 15 minutes for them to go back inside.  When I regained my confidence and got back in the car, it was a success! Driving was one of the most nerve wracking experiences (more of fear someone would recognize me).  At the same time, it was also one of the most comforting driving experiences I had.  More or less like this is how it is supposed to be when I looked down at my body and saw breasts (actually breast forms) squashed by a seat belt, when I looked into the mirror and saw what I see on the inside, knowing that others would get to see the actual me, it just felt right.  At one point, I was stopped waiting to cross a street and a car passed by.  Inside was a man and a woman.  The man gave me this passing glance, which definitely got my heart racing... As it was the first time I was 'judged' (not sure if it was him deciding if I passed or whatever).  After that, I raced back to my house

I know this is a super small step, and only dabbing my feet in the water.  I was wondering, what were other's first time presenting like? Similar experience, in the sense that it was small, or was it in a bigger manner?

Actually, I went for a drive on my fist outing... I had a red Fiat Spider convertible at the time

I drove and drove, mostly on the freeway as I was afraid to stop anywhere

As I got positive responses I gained confidence and drove to a beach town and walked out on the wharf and bought fish and chips

Unfortunately, it would be over twenty years later that I would decide to actually transition

But oh how I loved that day and how happy and free I felt

Good for you!  Small steps work.  Go with what you are comfortable with.

My first time was to a GLBT dance, which unfortunately was in the basement of a small airport and I had to cross through the terminal to get there.  When I walked across the terazzo floor in my heels - tap-tap-tap - I was sure all eyes were on me.  But it was one of the most wonderful evenings of my life, because that led to all the rest.

Each time gets easier (but maybe not a whole lot easier all at once).

- Kate

Quote from: forallittook on June 02, 2010, 08:15:32 PM
    The man gave me this passing glance, which definitely got my heart racing... As it was the first time I was 'judged' (not sure if it was him deciding if I passed or whatever)

Nope! I wouldn't have thought that was why he was looking at you

Well done, and your new pic looks great My first time out was a little less brave as it was a night out in the gay village of a big city, the worst part was that my friend parked across the street, so I had to walk down my driveway and across the road to her car, fortunately it was winter so quite dark.

As for how it felt? A bit like nothing, a bit like everything, quite unspectacular, just normal, but so indefinably right, comfortable and calming, it was that night that I knew for sure that this was how it needed to be.

My first outing was with a friend.  She drag me to Walmart of all places.  I almost peed myself when she drug me into the store.  When nothing happened it opened all the doors, and I never looked back.

I had lunch with my mom at the mall. My mom ordered the food, I just sat at a table and looked pretty . I was nervous, tons of people are always at the food court in the mall, it went really well though, I actually had a really good time .

And Kate's right, it does get easier. You'll be in stores shopping, chatting with strangers, whatever it is, in no time .

So agree with what Millie said too: As for how it felt? A bit like nothing, a bit like everything, quite unspectacular, just normal, but so indefinably right, comfortable and calming.

I know exactly what you mean!  My first time out was also in the car back in 2003.  I decided at about 9pm that I really needed to get out of the house and go for a drive.  Now I own a 2003 Cobra, which in 2003 was a pretty hot car.  Not exactly a quiet car either.  Anyways, I snuck past my roommate (who knew nothing about me), got into my car and zoomed away.  This was a really hot summer day so there I was on the interstate when a car full of guys pull up next to me, give me the thumbs up and start revving.  My heart was racing and my mind was a blank.  After that I gained a smidge of confidence and it became easier. 

I hope this gives you a little bit of confidence... but not too much all at once

Its great to finally feel yourself ayee 

The first time I presented was at a party with some friends  I told them the night before the party, that I was trans. A very complicated story! I was quite lucky this time, but defiantly learned for a "could have been HUUUGGGE MISTAKE"!!! Amazingly these friends...aged about 12 to 14 were very accepting, and called me by male pronouns without mistake the whole night, although they always had been for the past 4 months, just over the internet instead  I wasnt as confident as I should have been tho, I was just so nervous to be out for the first time

But yeah, now Im fine, I dont really give it a big thought. K8 is 110% right mwhahaha! 

@Vexing; coincidence!

My first time out was at a McDondalds. :p

I hadn't got my femme voice up to scratch yet, so my then-girlfriend did everything and managed to get my order wrong. Haha.

But it felt...right. Just gratifying on a personal level, and just like I'd made some connections that were going to matter, and nobody could take it from me.

First time was....always. I had more hassle looking fem than male. I don't recall ever having a first time because it was the default way I dressed and I never took to the whole fem mannerisms thing. I did learn a few things while trying to at least not draw looks but I regret that now.  One of those 20/20 hindsight things.

Recently. (about 6 months ago?)
Went to a department store. Walked around doing our shoping (me and my wife) and not a single soul looked twice.
A complete non event.

OOOOOOHHHHH someone turned on the way back machine, It was a Halloween party of course, late 60's early 70's maybe I wore a poodle skirt, angora sweater and a beehive hairdo and at the time it was all my own hair LOL

Quote from: MillieB on June 02, 2010, 08:48:06 PM
Nope! I wouldn't have thought that was why he was looking at you
Well done, and your new pic looks great

Thank you Millie B I think that once these presenting experiences start to become more routine they will become nonchalant, and I will be more able to appreciate the glances of others... Thanks everyone for you input and experiences!! I am actually kind of surprised no one reported any bad experiences on their first time (i.e. not passing and people being violent or belligerent towards oneself).  That makes me happy about things.  It is definitely a liberating experience all in itself I just learned  

Well my first time was in high school, about one, no wait OMG almost 2 years ago. It was freaky but as the odd ball of my school it wasn't so bad. People expected it of me. I remember one of the best looking girls in the school was yelling at me "OMG you really do have boobs! Can I touch them please!? You can touch mine" and the rest folks was history. Either way though my second time was much worse to say the least prison and I man in a skirt don't mix

I'm in the dusty old closet. But refreshing to read about your she-bang car ride

Love to see a pic of the beehive Cyndi! Sounds awesome.

I was dressing male for a while before I officially presented as such.  When I got my first binder, I put it on and expected no one to notice, but straight away my flatmate was like WOAH you look just like a dude.  I was so stoked. And my first time in the mens room was such a non-event. Except that I had a bit of pee-shyness.

Oh and forallittook, you totally got checked out! Not surprised, judging by yr pic yr a babe