It's been creeping up on me for a while, and recently it's hit me in full: I don't truly feel male or female.  That's right.  I don't identify with either binary concept of gender...and I'm still kind of surprised that I don't.

Until a few days ago I thought I was just androgynous, i.e, I looked a certain way but identified as male.  Before that even, I felt I was obligated to be as manly as possible--which didn't work and I wasn't comfortable with it.  Now I've come clean to myself on this issue, mostly, but I still have bothersome misconceptions in my head which I need to get rid of.

Thing One: I have body issues.  To be specific, I can't stand having breasts and a vagina instead of a penis.  Even so, I don't feel like it's something I'm doing to be male, if that makes any sense--it's something I'm doing because on a purely functional level, those happen to be the body parts I'm comfortable with.  If I was born with that physical configuration, I'd still feel the same as I do now in all the other ways.  Does this invalidate my gender identity, because I'm not okay with my body the way it is and I'm not partially transitioning?

Thing Two: I'm not calm or peaceful or gentle in temperament.  I know this is a blatant stereotype, and not all are like this, but I've got it stuck in my head that "OMG you're not, you're too angry!"  This isn't accurate, right?

*crosses fingers and posts*

There are plenty of androgynes on here that are fine with their bodies as they are, eg. Pica Pica, and some that fully transitioned in the past, eg. rejennyrated. In fact, before this recent influx of people (past year or so) who are partially transitioning or planning to, I think I remember that quite a lot of people here had either a male or female body (whether they had fully transitioned in the past or not) and were happy that way. So it's perfectly possible to approach androgyny as your gender identity from a body that is either one or the other, you're not unusual. 
And yes, as you know, stereotypes are just that, stereotypes. Am I female because I'm female-bodied and hate football? I think not entirely! 

I noticed Fen was already replying to this and so waited for them to be done. Quite frankly, they said it all... 
Not all androgynes are dysphoric about their bodies, not all androgynes who are dysphoric about their bodies transition to male, female, something in between or something more neutral/androgynous (which is more of an attempt really since there is no androgynous (not female or male) body). I think one of the things that ties most together is; if we'd wake up in the body of the opposite sex quite frankly we'd still feel the same way...

As for stereotypes... Give them a pat on the back... They've existed throughout the centuries.. That's hard work! Especially since they're far from meaningful.

I also imagine that there are very few people who are peaceful when they are are trying to work out who they are - and we always need angry androgynes for the forthcoming androgyne army.

Quote from: Fenrir on June 04, 2010, 03:42:24 AM
There are plenty of androgynes on here that are fine with their bodies as they are, eg. Pica Pica, and some that fully transitioned in the past, eg. rejennyrated. In fact, before this recent influx of people (past year or so) who are partially transitioning or planning to, I think I remember that quite a lot of people here had either a male or female body (whether they had fully transitioned in the past or not) and were happy that way. So it's perfectly possible to approach androgyny as your gender identity from a body that is either one or the other, you're not unusual. 
And yes, as you know, stereotypes are just that, stereotypes. Am I female because I'm female-bodied and hate football? I think not entirely! 

yeah pretty much what fen said... What I always say is don't let anyone enforce a set of rules on you. I am here more because I embrace the principle of freedom of self expression in relationship to gender than because I personally see my self as seeking to necessarily remain in some sort of middle ground.

If I am an androgyne, and as people here know I actually describe myself more as a gender geek girl, it is because I see no reason, after taking the trouble to transition fully to get as close to a female body as is humanly possible for me to have, to simply swap one set of outmoded ill fitting and constricted gender rules and stereotypes for another.

Fully transitioning is like having a bespoke tailored set of cothes individually handmade for you. Why buy a set that don't fit exactly? You may as well make up your own rules.

I suppose my presence here is basically a rejection of the whole concept of rigid gender rules. As to my physical SEX I am female and always will be. I do NOT wish to be in any way physically androgynous. As to my psychological sex, underneath it all I am actually also basically female but I simply do not acknowledge the need to be constrained and defined by that, so I do also frequently stray outside that territory.

That and the fact the AG's seem to have more fun and make better tea and cakes than the rest of the forum  

It's all about the fruit cake and the ninja squirrels.

Quote from: Pica Pica on June 04, 2010, 04:33:50 AM
and we always need angry androgynes for the forthcoming androgyne army.

Does the secret androgyne army have a secret volcano lair? It's practically regulation you know.

Quote from: rejennyrated on June 05, 2010, 02:28:15 AM
I actually describe myself more as a gender geek girl

Yeah, I'm sorry, I couldn't think of anyone else off the top of my head who had fully transitioned and was androgyne-ish. 
And I agree totally with there being no point in swapping one set of rules for another equally restrictive set. After all, this whole thing is about becoming more yourself, not shooting from one end of the binary, past where you naturally lie to the very other side of the binary. Define yourself!
As as for better tea and cakes? We certainly don't serve fruitcake here, though we could have a secret store in the volcano lair to lob at enemies when the revolution comes. I'm sure they could do quite a bit of damage, being rather solid objects. 

Quote from: Pica Pica on June 04, 2010, 04:33:50 AM
and we always need angry androgynes for the forthcoming androgyne army.

That certainly brings up some mental images..... 

Quote from: Fenrir on June 06, 2010, 08:10:14 AM
Yeah, I'm sorry, I couldn't think of anyone else off the top of my head who had fully transitioned and was

prepared to give us the time of day

Quote from: Fenrir on June 06, 2010, 08:10:14 AM
Yeah, I'm sorry, I couldn't think of anyone else off the top of my head who had fully transitioned and was androgyne-ish. 

Apologies are entirely unneccessary Fen - I am very happy to be an honorary AG

I was just slightly clarifying for Xren - as it seemed to enhance the point which is that we are thankfully a broad church in this section!

Now I'm off to the volcanic lair to train another division of our best crack assault troops for the day when we take over...

first susans then the world mwahahaha - they will never see us comming until its too late!

 



                                     


                                                                                           



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