"Act like a woman"
By Dyssonance
06 June, 2010


http://www.dyssonance.com/?p=1861


That phrase is getting some airtime among the online trans community of late.

Let me say something rather pointed and direct regarding the meaning of that phrase and the way it's being used a lot.

You are being a [edited language] when you say that.

First off, "act like a woman" contains a simile.  A simile is when you take two things that are NOT similar and they are compared.  That contains, inherently, a statement that the two things being compared are not a like (and, if you don't specifiy the nature of it, can mean that you make the wrong comparison).

So to say that someone should act like a woman is saying that they aren't. Ever said that to a trans person and gotten a good response from them?

Yeah, this world is full of contradiction and catch phrases

First they tell you to be yourself, then they tell you how to act... Gee, free acting lessons... Who'd a guessed?

So, act like a man or act like a woman or just be yourself and see what your told to act like

What's most fun is asking folks "Can you act it out for me?" and see how many times they'll do it 

It's an effin command to conform to gender stereotypes.  Just tell them to stuff it.  And if they are your boss or coworker in the USA, tell them it's a violation of Title VII.

The Debrahlee Lorenzana: Too Sexy for Her Job? adds another dimension to this topic.  And if you can find a discussion of someone not doing a enough to present as a woman (even if she's born with the proper bits), it all heads in the direction of carving out a specific presentation: cute (but not too sexy!) and well-mannered/behaved.  Men have certain expectations on them as well (you better believe "act like a man" gets trotted out).  In all, though, this topic points to the idea that gender roles have more to do with role-play than nature, and the people clamoring for people to conform are trying to cover for the fact they either wussed-out (because they don't naturally conform) or are enjoying privilege (because they naturally conform).

That's not a simile.

Quote from: ƃuıxǝʌ on June 07, 2010, 08:38:56 PM
And on that note, why is Toni's blog considered 'news'?

This section of the News Forum is Opinions and Editorials, thus Toni's blog posts can fit here as opinion pieces (this is regardless whether or not readers agree with her opinions).

Z

Act like who you really are, otherwise you're just faking it.

Quote from: tekla on June 08, 2010, 01:25:19 AM
Act like who you really are, otherwise you're just faking it.

And even if you're faking it, why is it anyone's business? 

Toni has pretty strong opinions -- and the one's she writes as Dyssonance are even stronger, lol.

Not that I have any insight into the matter, mind you

And it is a simile -- just not a great one, as the comparative isn't stated but implied.  Implicature is a rather interesting field all in itself.

The great thing is that people disagree with Toni all the time -- and sometimes Toni even learns from them (if they explain their disagreement).

And ever notice that talking in third person about yourself requires you to do a lot of editing?

lol

Quote from: dyssonance on June 08, 2010, 09:12:04 PMAnd it is a simile -- just not a great one, as the comparative isn't stated but implied. 

I know what you mean, and I agree that in the context provided later in the post, the people who said that are conveying that they see the person in question as dissimilar to "a woman"--not necessarily that the topless trans people aren't women but that they aren't behaving "like women." And I think you're spot-on when you say that it's merely opinion as to how women should act.

What I meant was that when the quotation is presented by itself, without the conversational context, we can't tell whether it really is a simile. In some situations, it wouldn't be.

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Post Merge: June 08, 2010, 10:43:46 PM

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Quote from: dyssonance on June 08, 2010, 09:12:04 PMAnd ever notice that talking in third person about yourself requires you to do a lot of editing?

Heh. This person has no experience with that, so he has no idea what you mean.

Quote from: Arch on June 08, 2010, 10:42:29 PM
I know what you mean, and I agree that in the context provided later in the post, the people who said that are conveying that they see the person in question as dissimilar to "a woman"--not necessarily that the topless trans people aren't women but that they aren't behaving "like women." And I think you're spot-on when you say that it's merely opinion as to how women should act.

What I meant was that when the quotation is presented by itself, without the conversational context, we can't tell whether it really is a simile. In some situations, it wouldn't be.

Ah -- yes, absolutely!  Entirely contextual in nature, and also highly cultural as well.

Quote from: dyssonance on June 08, 2010, 09:12:04 PM
And ever notice that talking in third person about yourself requires you to do a lot of editing?

lol

Likewise, writing about oneself without using any gender pronouns requires some extra work 

Z

I see the problem as being one of 'acting'- I'd prefer to just - be.

Which brings up our old buddy Hamlet ---"To be, or not to be-----"  (sheesh -- thats a question?? )

Quote from: ƃuıxǝʌ on June 07, 2010, 05:18:51 PM
"No. I'll act how I please."

I agree with this.

Quote from: tekla on June 08, 2010, 01:25:19 AM
Act like who you really are, otherwise you're just faking it.

And I agree with this.

Uh oh! Did Tek and Vex just agree on something?! lol!! 

Hey, my boss tells me all the time "even a broken watch is right twice a day."  To which I remind him that it's the third time he told me that today.  To which he says "STFU Kat." 

Hey, at least we agree to disagree, I don't need to hang with people who agree with me, sh*t, I know what I think and why it's right, I don't need reinforcement.  In the real world that's not friendship, that's a sycophant.

On of my best friends, for over 3.5 decades now, is a Roman Catholic priest.  We've had people who know both of us ask what the hell we can possibly agree on and we say - in unison - "Beer."

modified slightly for language