So next school semester I was thinking about joining the school softball team because I REALLY love the sport although I haven't officially played it, and my friends keep telling me how good I am at it.

The problem is that it is an all girls team. I feel like I'd be contradicting myself if I identify as male, but play on the girls team (I am not out at school so most everyone there knows me as female). I'm growing my hair out a little and have a bit of an androgynous look, but I also don't want that moment "There's a boy on their team!".

Really confused about my decision, this is something I really want to do....can you give me some advice please?

Don't worry so much about it.  I think you should do what you enjoy doing; go ahead and join the team.  Just because you'll be playing with girls, that doesn't mean you need to change how you identify or present.  I know I'm being really cheesy or corny or whatever, but I mean it.  Stay true to yourself.

I can totally see myself at your skin.
I live in a house just for girls. Sometimes I want to leave this place, but I wouldn't have other place to live.
And I probably wouldn't be accept in a boy's house.
Wouldn't be fair to lose my right to have a home paid by the University just 'cause I'm transgender.
I guess it's kinda the same with you.
You wouldn't be accepted in a boy's team, so you can't lose your right to be on a team just 'cause you're transgender.
Well, I just think you should go forward and play, have some fun.

I personally wouldn't do it.
Cause the thought of being called a girl whilst playing makes me crawl in my skin.
Then again, I've refused housing in a shelter while I was homeless cause I refused to be grouped with females.
But if you're ok with it...go for it.
But don't you have facial hair and stuff like in your pic?

Zombie, I totally understand your point.
You just have to see case by case and do what seems to fit better.
I wouldn't do most of the things I do if i just thought the way you do.
But I totally get you.

Quote from: zombiesarepeaceful on June 10, 2010, 03:42:45 PM
I personally wouldn't do it.
Cause the thought of being called a girl whilst playing makes me crawl in my skin.
Then again, I've refused housing in a shelter while I was homeless cause I refused to be grouped with females.
But if you're ok with it...go for it.
But don't you have facial hair and stuff like in your pic?

I was just messing around with makeup in that pic

I plan on doing sports next year to. Are you on hormones? I'll be on hormones so I plan to compete with the guys, it would be illegal for me to compete with girls on hormones anyhow.

You said you weren't out at school yet, so I guess do whatever. I will not compete with females because I am not one. If you really wanna play then I guess do it.

not on hormones

If there's no BOYS softball no one can say boo about you joining, even if they do read you as male

But you could try baseball if you're not crazy about being on the 'girls' team. Again, can't say no for having a "girl" on the team if there's no girls baseball.
[as far as I know they're very similar sports]

is there a co-ed intramural league you could play in?  I played in one in my college with a team all from my dorm.  Lots of fun

I always felt insulted playing softball, whether with females or co-ed. I feel like "I'm a big boy and I can hit a smaller ball just fine thank you. I don't need your bigger gloves either." I've always equated that softball=women's sport. I'm a baseball fan all the way though. It's probably narrow thinking but it's how I've always felt.

Well, you're female-bodied and you aren't on T, so you're certainly eligible. You're also female at school, so it sounds like being on the team wouldn't add to your dysphoria. You may identify as male, but you're in a gray area at the moment. If you really want to play and there aren't reasonable alternatives, it's up to you.

If you're worried about what other people think, I can certainly understand that. But you have to go with what makes you comfortable. If you're thinking, "Am I a hypocrite?" then that's a bit different from, "What if other people think I'm a hypocrite?"

FWIW, I wouldn't think any less of you. It would be an odd choice FOR ME, but this isn't about me, is it? I figure it's your business and you'll do what you're happy with. Trans folks get few enough advantages without having our own community pointing fingers at each other. But do be prepared for people to do a double-take and some loud opining if they know that you identify as male.

I know how you feel man. I'm playing softball this summer on an all-girls team. I'm a little uneasy about it because I do pass well as male, but these are people from my home town that have always known me as female and I'm not out to them yet. Yeah, I don't want to be seen as female, but I played last year and it was a great time. So I just suck it up and enjoy the sport and try to forget they're calling me by my girl name. It's really your call, if you think you can handle the female aspects, it's lots of fun. Good luck!