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Being trans and going to pride

Started by Nygeel, June 09, 2010, 01:10:50 AM

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Kristyn

Quote from: glendagladwitch on June 11, 2010, 08:07:51 PM
Well, in most areas, and most controversially in Texas now, Pride is excluding anything that does not look normal and present that non-threatening, squeaky clean gay couple family image that is carefully calculated to appeal to straights. Anything transgender, genderqueer, or even HIV is getting the boot.  Here's an article on it.

http://www.dallasvoice.com/instant-tea/2010/06/03/dropping-a-queerbomb-on-austin-pride/

So the question is, do you go to Pride and support the sanitized GLB, or go the the alternative "Queerbomb" event that was created?  You decide.

This is exactly the point I am trying to instill here--the closer G&L's get to the straight community, the more they want to distance themselves from us--and it's proven right in the article.  They've forgotten everything that they have ever had to fight for.  "->-bleeped-<-s?"  The f**King day anyone, be they gay, bi, les, straight or whatever calls me a ->-bleeped-<- is the day they put a warrant out for my arrest!  If there were a similar event as queerbomb in my area, I would probably consider going
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katgirl74

I would be careful about broad generalizations based off a one sided article in the Dallas Voice. Many in the Austin LGBT community, yes even the LG's, were upset about the perception that Pride was much more corporate this year. But this does not mean that trans people were left out or HIV programs were left out. As a co-chair of Transgender Education Network of Texas, I can assure you that we were not only there, but that we were very welcome at Pride. Our executive director was a grand marshal for the parade.
    I will admit that the current Pride foundation does try and promote a little too mainstream of an image, but that does not mean that anyone was excluded from Pride. To say that people were excluded is inaccurate and simply not true. By the way, even as a trans person I fit into a very heteronormative image, and I am fine with that. That is who I am, I don't stand out as trans or as a lesbian, but that does not diminish my identity.
   As for the issue with the "quote' from De Humphries, we have discussed the issue with the Pride Foundation. A little background, De is a straight ally, not G, not L, not B, and not T, so don't use her quote to paint the GLB. I think the issue is that she is part of an organization that calls itself the Gay and Lesbian Pride Foundation, and as a straight person she does not understand that Pride is inclusive of the LGBT and that trans people were at Stonewall. She doesn't understand the history. In fact, many LGB people forget the history too.
    Be careful about jumping to conclusions without having all the facts.
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glendagladwitch

Quote from: katgirl74 on June 11, 2010, 08:49:38 PM
I would be careful about broad generalizations based off a one sided article in the Dallas Voice. Many in the Austin LGBT community, yes even the LG's, were upset about the perception that Pride was much more corporate this year. But this does not mean that trans people were left out or HIV programs were left out. As a co-chair of Transgender Education Network of Texas, I can assure you that we were not only there, but that we were very welcome at Pride. Our executive director was a grand marshal for the parade.
    I will admit that the current Pride foundation does try and promote a little too mainstream of an image, but that does not mean that anyone was excluded from Pride. To say that people were excluded is inaccurate and simply not true. By the way, even as a trans person I fit into a very heteronormative image, and I am fine with that. That is who I am, I don't stand out as trans or as a lesbian, but that does not diminish my identity.
   As for the issue with the "quote' from De Humphries, we have discussed the issue with the Pride Foundation. A little background, De is a straight ally, not G, not L, not B, and not T, so don't use her quote to paint the GLB. I think the issue is that she is part of an organization that calls itself the Gay and Lesbian Pride Foundation, and as a straight person she does not understand that Pride is inclusive of the LGBT and that trans people were at Stonewall. She doesn't understand the history. In fact, many LGB people forget the history too.
    Be careful about jumping to conclusions without having all the facts.

Good to know.  I've noticed the Dallas Voice does seem to have a bit of a bias problem.  I think there is a lack of editorial control over the people who contribute to the twisted tea blog, and some of those contributors seem to be rather extreme and destructive.  But I've also noticed there are some good ones.  I'm trying to figure out who's who but I wish there were a more reliable news source for the area.
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tekla

in Texas now, Pride is excluding anything that does not look normal

And the rest of the US considers Texas like the retard cousin we keep in the attic.  Wonder why?
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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Autumn

Quote from: Kristyn on June 10, 2010, 10:40:09 PM
I really can't understand the difficulty in being gay--really, I can't!  They're covered under almost every human right and they are excepted by far more people than we are.  As a matter of fact, it's kind of hip to be gay, no?  I mean, I hear of so many straight people talking about their cool gay/les friend(s).  There's tv shows which revolve around homosexuality.  It's everywhere.  It's ok.  It's tolerated and excepted.  No difficulties here, absolutely none!  You don't hear of a near 50% suicide rate with gays and lesbians.

It's the "really, I can't!" line here that makes you sound like some sort of naive churchgoer. "I really cant understand why a man would want to have sex with another man--really, I can't!" A great example is how Iran has state-sponsored sex changes, but homosexuals are sort of... not tolerated.

They're not covered. It's still legal to fire gays for being gay in most states of the US. Also in the rest of the world a lot of places will still KILL YOU DEAD whether you're trans or gay. It's maybe tolerated, but hardly accepted. I've still gotten the "I don't agree with my gay/queer friends, or condone what they're doing, but I still love them." Or as a friend's mother who refused to help her when she was homeless, because she has gay friends said, "I LOVE THE GAYS, but i don't like what they do."

Also, hi, i'm pretty gay, my girlfriend and I feel pretty uncomfortable showing our affection in most places and when my customers start talking about family life and all to me, I have to keep quiet for fear of offending them with my life.

Post Merge: June 14, 2010, 02:37:39 PM

you know, really, that post is so aggravating.

It's as if you have no concept of families disowning their gay children, or at least abusing them heavily. Or not letting people know you're gay so you actually get raises. Or discrimination in your neighborhood. Or raping the gay away. Or a laundry list of things that just goes on forever.

How far in the sand do you have to stick your head to get to that point, being trans yourself? For the average population, trans = gay anyway.
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Nygeel

So many replies that I didn't see. I ended up ditching the parade and went to the post-pride festivities. I ended up facing more crap than I did last year. More "shes" more of my old name...even after correcting people. There were also people handing out cards about some sort of experiment or survey for men. Although I knew it was likely I wasn't going to get a card for this (they'd pay $400 and I really could use the money) I still had a bit of a frown/bummed out reaction for not being pounced on for it.
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Kristyn

Quote from: Nygeel on June 14, 2010, 06:59:30 PM
So many replies that I didn't see. I ended up ditching the parade and went to the post-pride festivities. I ended up facing more crap than I did last year. More "shes" more of my old name...even after correcting people. There were also people handing out cards about some sort of experiment or survey for men. Although I knew it was likely I wasn't going to get a card for this (they'd pay $400 and I really could use the money) I still had a bit of a frown/bummed out reaction for not being pounced on for it.

Geez!  I'm really sorry to hear that Nygeel.  Judging from your avatar you look male enough to me.  Are you on T?  Is there anything you could possibly think of as to why people would be referring to you inappropriately?  Are you from NYC or upstate?  If this is happening in NYC, I'm doubly shocked at the level of ignorance.  Try and hang in there, hun! 
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Nygeel

Quote from: Kristyn on June 14, 2010, 07:35:25 PM
Geez!  I'm really sorry to hear that Nygeel.  Judging from your avatar you look male enough to me.  Are you on T?  Is there anything you could possibly think of as to why people would be referring to you inappropriately?  Are you from NYC or upstate?  If this is happening in NYC, I'm doubly shocked at the level of ignorance.  Try and hang in there, hun!
Not on T, been out as male for a few years. There are probably things with my personality, the way I talk, walk, and my body shape that could be making people think "masculine woman" as opposed to trans dude. I am from the suburbs...so almost NYC.
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Kristyn

Quote from: Nygeel on June 14, 2010, 07:45:25 PM
Not on T, been out as male for a few years. There are probably things with my personality, the way I talk, walk, and my body shape that could be making people think "masculine woman" as opposed to trans dude. I am from the suburbs...so almost NYC.

I think that once you get on T things will definitely change and, overtime, so will peoples attitudes.  For now, just work what you got, hun, and try hard to rise above it.  Use that negativity as fuel to make change--it will happen!
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Nygeel

Quote from: Kristyn on June 14, 2010, 07:52:36 PM
I think that once you get on T things will definitely change and, overtime, so will peoples attitudes.  For now, just work what you got, hun, and try hard to rise above it.  Use that negativity as fuel to make change--it will happen!
I'm not entirely sure if the risks involved with being on T out weigh the benefits...so I'd rather not look at it with the perspective that I will be going on T and it will change a lot of things.
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Kristyn

Quote from: Nygeel on June 14, 2010, 07:56:04 PM
I'm not entirely sure if the risks involved with being on T out weigh the benefits...so I'd rather not look at it with the perspective that I will be going on T and it will change a lot of things.

Do your research do what feels right.  Either way, I'm sure it will happen for you as we have the ability within us to bring about change.  It will work for you!  Just don't give up and don't let anyone tear you down.  ;)
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Farm Boy

Quote from: Autumn on June 14, 2010, 02:25:39 PMIt's the "really, I can't!" line here that makes you sound like some sort of naive churchgoer. "I really cant understand why a man would want to have sex with another man--really, I can't!" A great example is how Iran has state-sponsored sex changes, but homosexuals are sort of... not tolerated.

They're not covered. It's still legal to fire gays for being gay in most states of the US. Also in the rest of the world a lot of places will still KILL YOU DEAD whether you're trans or gay. It's maybe tolerated, but hardly accepted. I've still gotten the "I don't agree with my gay/queer friends, or condone what they're doing, but I still love them." Or as a friend's mother who refused to help her when she was homeless, because she has gay friends said, "I LOVE THE GAYS, but i don't like what they do."

^ This.  Being gay may be tolerated better than being trans, but it certainly isn't tolerated well.  At least, not from what I've seen.  Just last year, on the military base I was living on, a man was beaten to death in the barracks after some of the other soldiers found out he was gay.  How's that for acceptance?

For myself, I'd love to go to Pride for the experience.  However, I'm not out yet, and as a result I haven't faced any direct discrimination to date, from TS folks or otherwise.  (Of course, I've not met any TS folks in person, either...)
Started T - Sept. 19, 2012
Top surgery - Jan. 16, 2017
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tekla

Of course, I've not met any TS folks in person, either...

Well, it does lower the odds of having any sort of direct discrimination ... from TS folks.  And I do so love a winning strategy.  But TGs tend to cross all spectrums so, just like the rest of life, you're going to meet all kinds. 
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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Nygeel

A bit of an update.

This year I decided to go to the NYC Trans Day of Action (aka Trans March). I felt genuinely accepted, everybody was trans-friendly and pro-trans/gender non-conforming rights. It was about an hour by public transportation but I felt as if it was worth it.
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Icephoenyx

Nygeel, that's really too bad, but I'm not surprised you were treated that way. Many GLB's aren't fans of transgenders, and Pride is a gay-only event for sure. I would say forget about it, you're better than that.
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Miniar




"Everyone who has ever built anywhere a new heaven first found the power thereto in his own hell" - Nietzsche
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Nygeel

Quote from: Icephoenyx on June 26, 2010, 10:41:32 AM
Nygeel, that's really too bad, but I'm not surprised you were treated that way. Many GLB's aren't fans of transgenders, and Pride is a gay-only event for sure. I would say forget about it, you're better than that.
Many trans folks aren't fans of other trans folks, either.

I just feel as if gay pride is very commercialized and it's great if you fit into the "mainstream" type of LGBT person but if you're queer, a person of color, or non-gender conforming (or even all three) then it isn't exactly the place to be.
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Arch

Quote from: Nygeel on June 26, 2010, 01:41:22 PMI just feel as if gay pride is very commercialized

Our Pride festival is so boring...and commercial...I don't know about other festivals, but I'm there to be GAY, not to buy aluminum siding or a new kitchen remodel. Sheesh.

ETA: Come to think of it, maybe the whole kitchen thing is pretty gay...:P
"The hammer is my penis." --Captain Hammer

"When all you have is a hammer . . ." --Anonymous carpenter
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Nygeel

I originally went to pride to be in a place where I can be myself but I haven't really been able to do that at the pride parade. Trans march I felt way more comfortable.
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Miss LXC 2.0

I didn't go to pride as its early in my recovery to be around alcohol and such. I do not do well with big crowds because I get claustrophobic easily. Its always interesting to see what the town looks like afterwards.
Hugs
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