Ok so it's fathers day soon and my mum thinks I should send a card to my dad but I don't want to. I'm asking your opinions because i'm pretty angry now about the fact my dad wont really speak to me since coming out so my judgment is a bit clouded. My mum feels that sending a card and signing it Nathan might help a little bit she also thinks that I shouldn't push it untill i'm on T and have had some obvious changes.

Yeah so what should I do send a card or not?

I think sending a card signed Nathan seems like a good idea.

Sending him nothing might worsen an already sh*tty situation.

Send him something. You can only control your own actions and reactions. His are on him. At the end of the day, you'll know you did what you could to mend the relationship, regardless of what he does. That in itself sometimes lessens the anger or hurt. You'll know you tried.

Quote from: Nero on June 15, 2010, 03:55:28 PM
Send him something. You can only control your own actions and reactions. His are on him. At the end of the day, you'll know you did what you could to mend the relationship, regardless of what he does. That in itself sometimes lessens the anger or hurt. You'll know you tried.

This.


Jay

Quote from: Nero on June 15, 2010, 03:55:28 PM
Send him something. You can only control your own actions and reactions. His are on him. At the end of the day, you'll know you did what you could to mend the relationship, regardless of what he does. That in itself sometimes lessens the anger or hurt. You'll know you tried.

x2!!!

What's the card for? Oh fathers day. Depends on how much importance you place on the day. If you think it is important I would send a card. But then, will it actually help anything? If he is struggling with the whole nathan thing, perhaps a card would just push him over the edge?  Mmmm,

Although... I would send it.

Agree with others though saying you can't control his reaction, only your own. You're more likely to regret not sending it than sending it. It would be better if his lack of communication is all from him so at least you can say "I did my best"

If he has been a good father, I think you should send the card, and let the ball be in his court.
Him being obstinate shouldn't be punished at this point I think.
Father's Day is about celebrating the man who reared you to be who you are, you can't dismiss it that easily because of a bad judgment that he is making, which may be a temporary thing.
My 2 cents. 

send him the card sign it nathan but if he really is anti about the whole thing be prepared for him to throw it back in your face and tell you he doesnt have a son called nathan. thats just the worse case scenario tho you might get a diferent outcome hopefully

I think you should send the card. It will show him that you're the bigger person. Ask yourself this; do you really want to stoop the same level of someone that would turn their back on their child?

Sending a card, signing it 'Nathan' or not, suggests you still want to have a decent relationship with your father and aren't ready to resign yourself and him to be another case of estrangement. I think you should send one, since its a little effort that could go a long way in the long term. Yes, it might vex him a little to begin with should you sign it with your REAL name, but I think eventually, whether it by his own mind or not, he should hopefully be able to overlook that and take to heart that you still want him in your life whatever happens.

Hope that made sense. xD

Agree with all,

Send the card from Nathan. His problem not yours. Never has been, never will be.

Cindy

If he is just in the not talking stage, I would send a card if for no other reason than to show that you do wish to continue having a relationship with him.  In fact, my dad is kind of in that same place and I do intend to make some gesture or another for that same reason.

I wouldn't do anything out of the ordinary, nothing more or less than you did last year.  I would keep making these kinds of simple gestures until he makes his next move.

I sent the card. I'm now worried that it will make him even more angry. 

I got him a blank card with a random picture on because it would feel weird sending him a card saying he's been a great dad. The worst part is the not knowing if he will come around or not. Part of me wants to tell him it's up to you if you want a relationship with me or not i'm transitioning either way but I know that's a bad idea right now.