Quote from: Arch on May 05, 2010, 01:42:59 AM
It seems so weird to me that many trans women wish they had a period.

I'm sure you do understand that it's only because of what it represents in terms of fertility in our chosen role...

From the point of view of the smell, the mess the discomfort, and the whole rigmarole of the actual process itself then no, of course we are lucky not to have to bother.

I mean I could say that transmen are weird wanting to have errections and ejaculations - two things about masculinity that I found deeply offensive and revolting, but I get the idea. I understand that to you it is a symbol of everthing you are striving to express.

Quote from: rejennyrated on May 05, 2010, 02:10:56 AM
I'm sure you do understand that it's only because of what it represents in terms of fertility in our chosen role...

I hope I did not phrase that offensively. Yes, I do get this on an intellectual level. And I've tried to find an analog for us guys--that is, a parallel that helps me to "get it" on a gut level. Your comparison of erections and ejaculations doesn't quite go there for me. I'm not just talking about disgust level here or this-isn't-rightness; I'm mainly talking about symptoms that don't occur to all female bodies (from what I understand)--mood dips that interfered with my ability to function, constant pain for days, dizzying nausea, days of diarrhea...and a lot of other people have it worse than I did. The period is a physical manifestation that lots of cisgender women would gladly do without, even though it is a persistent signifier of a womanhood that they completely embrace. I really think that menstruation is sui generis in these respects. But that could just be my bias talking.

BTW, just for the record--I did say it seemed weird to me that trans women want it, not that trans women are weird for wanting it.

Heck no Arch!  No offense at all. I was just trying to find something as an analogy and the errections thing was one of the best I could find.

you might not think it compares and on a purely physical level perhaps it doesn't but the psychological can be devastating. I used to spend days literally unable to function for fear of an errection or worse, and it certainly didn't help that I was hugely physically dysphoric but with a sex drive somewhere in the stratosphere. For some reason for me my sex drive doesn't seem to correlate to my T level - because my postop t is only 0.7 and yet my sex drive is still pretty good.

I suppose on the level of the physical discomforts you describe I would have viewed them as the price I happily paid for the miracle of being able to carry a child, but I can well understand that you might feel it wasn't worth it. For me, personally, it would have been, but we are all different.

As this is also where I think we come to that point of desperately wanting what the other has. I understand the beauty of carrying a child, but if I myself where to become preggers, I would be devestated beyond belief. I think we can all understand mentally why the person on the oposite spectrum wants what we have, but emotionally its harder. No matter how much I understand mentally at the end of the day it doesn't change that I am utterly revolted my my body. If I could yank out my unterus and give it to you I would happily do so.

Here is where I differ from the masses.

Being pregnant was cool about the 5th month when you could first feel the baby move. The rest sucked. I got lucky in having mostly painless labors. I wouldn't give up my kids for anything. Red death was gone thanks to carrying a baby and that was a big plus.


Sucky part was the female hormones caused other things to happen which wasn't cool. Details I'm not going into atm, too lazy.

Quote from: rejennyrated on May 05, 2010, 12:21:26 PMyou might not think it compares and on a purely physical level perhaps it doesn't but the psychological can be devastating.

This I can definitely see...in fact, I also see a direct parallel. In high school and my first year of college, I wasn't on the Pill. I had terribly irregular periods that would come any time they wanted--sometimes I would get one a week after the previous one, and sometimes I would skip a month. Skipping a month sounds wonderful, but I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I knew it would happen soon...well, pretty soon, well, it had to happen any day now...well...

Then, when I was actually bleeding, I was always convinced that I was leaking and that everyone would see the stain between my legs. In four and a half years, something like that only happened once, and I ran to the nurse's office and rinsed out my underwear in the sink. I had caught it in time. But the girl there just HAD to know what I had spilled on myself. I looked her straight in the eye and without hesitation said, "I didn't spill anything. My period came early." You should have seen the look on her face. For a second or two, she was more mortified than I was.

Gah. The appalling things that my body did and my inability to predict them was nasty. I was always scared spitless.

I had that happen to me once...It was in 6th grade math class, ms. Winnicks room. I had to walk all the way to the front of the class hoping I wouldn't bleed too much. Then she wouldn't let me leave so I had to whisper to her what had happened with the whole class staring...and she says aloud. "AT LEAST YOU"RE WEARING BLACK EH?" hahahahaha...I wanted to kill her.

Keep your bloody menstrual cycles, and the cramps, all to yourselves.  I'd rather have an erection here and there, than be leeking from the holiest place on Earth.

Quote from: inoutallabout on May 07, 2010, 03:53:17 AM
Keep your bloody menstrual cycles, and the cramps, all to yourselves.  I'd rather have an erection here and there, than be leeking from the holiest place on Earth.

I don't see nothing holy about it. I think I get your point but if not, grrr.

Quote from: LordKAT on May 07, 2010, 04:26:51 AM
I don't see nothing holy about it. I think I get your point but if not, grrr.

Everyone idolizes their nether regions in some fashion.  Instead of referring to mine as huge, or constrictingly tight, I'm simply making it known that mine is nothing less than heavenly, holy, and all that jazzy pot of life.

Then I was wrong and GRRR.

 

I always hear how this is a big concern for transladies.  It's always the little things that everyone else takes for granted that end up seeming suspicious.

I once heard that story of a woman who was so committed that she, uh... how to put this delicately... she used chicken blood to throw off any suspicions.

Umm, even without actually menstruating there are many post-op trans-women who are practically major stockholders in Procter & Gamble (manufacturer of Always).

As for the what to tell your freinds, you could tell them you have PCOS and therefore dont have periods.

Unfortunately my periods are awful, just plain hell:
When I was 8 i started my period it was hell I had to change a pad every 2 hours and all I was just doing was laying there.

Well my period never stopped it slowed up and lightened but it was still there and then the red stuff would come and then it go back to its brown state, old blood. I have had to wear a pad every single day for
8 1/2 yrs and no doctor can figure out whats wrong and they refuse to do anything about it because of my age. They are extremely painful, sometimes to the point I can barely walk and apperently I just have to deal with according to the doctors.

Free and high quality:  http://instoresnow.walmart.com/enhancedrendercontent_ektid87034.aspx

If you're trying to live in stealth, getting free feminine products through the mail isn't a bad thing.

Shaun, that really sucks. I hope you can see a better doctor some day.

Before I got my period my mum gave me this 70s feminist hippy book about menstruation.  It had abstract paintings of all the different shades your blood might come in.  I was horrified.

Kotax is what I use and carry

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Post Merge: June 07, 2010, 06:44:20 AM

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Quote from: mcalistershaun on May 25, 2010, 09:45:16 AM
As for the what to tell your freinds, you could tell them you have PCOS and therefore dont have periods.

Unfortunately my periods are awful, just plain hell:
When I was 8 i started my period it was hell I had to change a pad every 2 hours and all I was just doing was laying there.

Well my period never stopped it slowed up and lightened but it was still there and then the red stuff would come and then it go back to its brown state, old blood. I have had to wear a pad every single day for
8 1/2 yrs and no doctor can figure out whats wrong and they refuse to do anything about it because of my age. They are extremely painful, sometimes to the point I can barely walk and apperently I just have to deal with according to the doctors.

My friend has the same thing experience and now she has to undergo surgery to have her tubes removed

You could always say you're on a birth control. Therefor don't have a period and that you just never was one that had PMS. I never had PMS and when I was on birth control, I didn't have periods. I never had anyone ask me for a tampon though, but then I wasn't a normal kind of girl that other girls felt girly around. I never got to play those reindeer games LOL

There was a girl at my apt.s who asked (near demanded) me to go to the store and buy some for her

She had the money and the tab from the box in hand and looked rather stressed out

So I was like, "okay"... Hopped on my bike and went and got them

A few days or so later... There's a gift with a thank you note at my door...
I unwrap it and there's a box of tampons for me