By that I mean, youtube gave me a reality check of just how transphobic people can be. I mean, I'm full time now, my name changed legally and all. But these people are just like
"This is a costume"
"Its not natural you are a girl"
"Get over it. Life sucks. Deal with it."
"You will never be who you want to be"
And I wonder if they're right. If I should just get over it. I can't imagine actually going back, and I know that if I'm forced to live as a girl itll be bad, hell I was numb thinking about this but...oh my god..what if theyre right?

THIS. Oh my goodness, this. Is exactly. How I feel.

Except that for me, it's not from people on Youtube. It's from my mom.

After so much time hearing her say "It's just a phase-- you're too young to know" or "It's mental illness, not a real, valid identity" or "You're just copying your friends and looking for attention-- this isn't really you," I start to wonder if she's right. I start wondering if maybe I AM brainwashing myself into doing this because I want the attention, or I'm making a mistake by coming to major conclusions when I'm so young. I know that's not the case, but sometimes it just startes to eat away at my mind and i can't stop second-guessing myself and everything I feel and do. It's like I'm brainwashing myself into thinking I'm brainwashing myself!

But then I think about it this way--

If I'm brainwashing myself into being transgender, I'm doing a darn good job of it, because it definitely feels pretty real to me. It feels real enough that I will be miserable if I try to deny that part of myself. And y'know what? If by some miniscule chance, someday down the lines, I decide I was wrong... I'll be no worse off than I am, now.

Ultimately, you're the one who has to live your life in your body. Therefore, you're the one who gets to make the final calls on what happens with that life and that body.

who were those people?.. lemme at em!!!
(I'm on youtube)

Its like..comments like this:
you can embrace your feminine (or masculine) interests and state of mind without acting like you're something you're not... you are born with the parts that you are born with. people keep mentioning how strong he is for accepting himself, but that is the exact thing transgendered people lack; acceptance.
And maybe they're right.

This comment really ticked me off though about Jazz the young mtf. this was not okay:

I think people get this mixed up, she is a he. Im not being disrespectful. Im gay and in the gay community 'she' would be a 'he'
Until he gets his penis surgically removed he will be a boy. Im gay so dont think for a second im homophobic

I doubted a lot, but I think it says something that even with no real reason to think being male is advantageous (no sexist upbringing or anything) I still went out and denied my female identity. And that has to be a sign of something. I don't think everybody does, and since I'd figured out I was transgendered/male I haven't had the urge to be female/feminine or doubted that I was male.

So, well, it's a real problem. The depressions of it aren't a mistake we've made. What about the early pioneers like Lily Elbe, Michael Dillon, Roberta Cowell and Alan Hart and all those? They faced some pretty difficult odds and still were driven to challenge their birth. In short, I think they cannot understand. Mostly because they do not want to try.

Quote from: Kvall on June 23, 2010, 01:15:44 AM
The "trans people just need to learn to accept themselves" argument is just plain stupid. You are who you are, and you need the medical treatment you need. It has nothing to do with acceptance. You can accept that your body parts and/or social role are causing you severe distress and resolve to change them. Or you can accept that for whatever reason you aren't going to change them and will have to live with the dysphoria as a result.

If there were no possible treatment for transsexuality, then yes, you would need to "accept it [that it won't change]" and move on. But---but! There are treatments. Therefore you have options for making your body and mind as happy and healthy as possible.

That's a very good point since it is treatable. That's also why I have respect for non op people. They don't let people say that just because they keep their body the same doesn't make them any less of who they are. And those who do need surgery its more for their well being.

That's just stupid. It's like saying that if you were born into a poor family, you should just accept it and never think about going higher in society. Or something of that sort.

Honestly man, just do what you believe will make you happy. This is your life. You have to live with yourself, not them. So do what you believe is right and what will make you happy. Ask yourself, "Can I live with myself if I don't go through this?"

I think pointing to David Reimer has always been the easiest way for me to demonstrate to people that gender is immutable, regardless of one's physical reality.

I guess that poor kid in the ER should just accept that he has a broken leg and not get it fixed.

My friend with diabetes should just accept that her body is messed up; forget about checking blood sugar and injecting insulin.

My old colleague with the brain tumor should have just rolled over and died. (She didn't; she got treatment and brain surgery. And she survived.)

When I first started gender therapy, I often wanted to ask my therapist if he could "fix" me. I knew that reparative therapy didn't work. I knew I was trans. I just didn't want to be. I fought it for decades. All that did was twist me up; it's taking me years to get my head straight. All of that denial and doubt very nearly ruined my life. And all because what was normal for me was freakish to other people.

You know the drill. The YouTube commenters really ARE idiots. Don't let their ignorance get to you.

Quote from: Kyle XD on June 22, 2010, 11:52:05 PM
..what if they're right?

And what if they're not?

They're a bunch of people on the internet that don't personally know you or what you're going through. Hell, so are we for that matter. Listen to yourself, and come to your own conclusions - 'cause you're the only one that has ALL the information.

It's only an act if it doesn't feel right. If it's right, then it's right. Go with your gut, not someone else's.

Those comments are nothing more than the personal opinions of random people on a topic they know nothing about, and have no first hand experience in.

I'd expect they'd be about as accurate as me giving my opinion on living in Antarctica to a penguin .

The only worthwhile things I've seen on YouTube are idiots trying to drive their truck sitting on the roof, and ending up running themselves over. Oh, and old local music videos. 
Best answer is, "MYOB!"

Youtube is an outlet for alot of f****** retards who spit hatred and transphobia. They don't give tv shows to just anyone, right? Well they essentially let anyone host their own stuff on youtube, no matter  how hairbrained it is. So ignore it.

I used to wonder if I was "legit". After being told that I was only making life hard for myself, etc. But I knew inside that there had to be some good reason I didn't feel right from an early age, and I knew I wasn't as "mad" as they all said I was. It eases up, the guilt and stupid thoughts that go through your head. Eventually. Until then, just know that they're BS.

Quote from: Muddy on June 23, 2010, 02:08:15 AMI think pointing to David Reimer has always been the easiest way for me to demonstrate to people that gender is immutable, regardless of one's physical reality.

You haven't had them spout back at you, "But HE was a REAL boy! He was BORN a boy!"?

I totally have.

Which then makes a nice segue into the fact that he was never told he'd been born a boy.
So how did he know?

He knew, in his heart, that he just WAS male, despite all evidence to the contrary.

People are born with intersex conditions every day, that cause all sorts of variation between external and internal anatomy.  Do you really think we know so much about science that its completely illogical to believe that perhaps I was born with a condition that caused my brain not to match my body?

They've conducted brain scans in Europe of transwomen, pre-hormone treatment, that revealed their brains to appear far more feminine than their cismale counterparts.

If they still aren't open to the *possibility* that perhaps there's a true medical reason for transsexuality after that?  Then they're simply bigots, and you're wasting your time even attempting to talk or respond to them.

There's some documents here which show scientific proof that transsexualism is not psychological, but physical.
http://www.mermaidsuk.org.uk/New%20Mermaids/science.htm

Quote from: Ryan on June 23, 2010, 11:42:20 AM
There's some documents here which show scientific proof that transsexualism is not psychological, but physical.
http://www.mermaidsuk.org.uk/New%20Mermaids/science.htm

Thanks for posting those Ryan. Those are very interesting so far (I'm reading each one of them, and I'm on the second one).

Youtube is notorious for idiotic comments.

I thought that was the raison d'être for Utube in the first place.  Give a million monkeys typewriters and vid camaras...

You have to remember that there are prejudice jerks everywhere. Let's take racism as an example. There are many people out there who despise black people just because they're black. Not too long ago white people would kill blacks for being black and it was O.K. Today there are still many murders due to racism.

Yet, a person can't control the colour of their skin. They were born that way and it can't be changed. Still others will hate them despite the fact it's not something a person can control. These haters are like this due to prejudice, ignorance and stupidity. We were born trans and it's something we can't control. Yes, we have haters, but many other people have their haters too. Just remember that these haters are prejudice, ignorant and stupid. Once you realize this they're opinion means nothing.

Quote from: Radar on June 23, 2010, 10:41:58 PM
You have to remember that there are prejudice jerks everywhere. Let's take racism as an example. There are many people out there who despise black people just because they're black. Not too long ago white people would kill blacks for being black and it was O.K. Today there are still many murders due to racism.

Yet, a person can't control the colour of their skin. They were born that way and it can't be changed. Still others will hate them despite the fact it's not something a person can control. These haters are like this due to prejudice, ignorance and stupidity. We were born trans and it's something we can't control. Yes, we have haters, but many other people have their haters too. Just remember that these haters are prejudice, ignorant and stupid. Once you realize this they're opinion means nothing.

The black prejudice is ironic for me. My girlfriend is black, and her adult sister knows transpeople personally, and still says their wrong and bad and that I won't be a good boyfriend. Never mind that this woman had a boyfriend who used to beat her, IM bad because I'm trans, no other reason. Yes she is a narcissist and picks out the worst in people, but her prejudice bull->-bleeped-<- was enough to brainwash her mom. Her mom is having problems and won't let us see each other even though she likes me as a person, and it's ridiculous. They didn't even acknowledge that we were biracial for a while. They would be just as pissed off if my parents said I couldn't date her cuz shes black. But no.