Elijah, my heart goes out to you right now. I know how hard this can all be, and I also know that hearing that others have gone through it doesn't often help either. The only thing I think I'd want to hear in a time like this is:
This rough patch won't last. You've been through rough patches like this before and they've always gone away again. When you are feeling like yourself again, you'll be so glad that you didn't do anything dangerous, as you really do know that overall (even with its lumps) life is worth living.
Think of the person you'll be in 5 years or 10 years (whichever is more comforting) and think of how he'd feel knowing that he wasn't going to be given the chance to exist. Tough out this rough spot, and someday you'll look back through his eyes and go "wow, I'm so glad I made it this far".
I know it's not easy, and I know there's no simple answer. Do what you need to do to (safely) vent your feelings, whether crying, punching a punching bag or pillow, yelling, talking about it, whatever it takes. Also do what you need to do to keep yourself healthy, make sure to eat (at least a little), make sure you get some sleep, keep away from drugs/alcohol/self-harm.
You'll get through this bro, just take it one little step at a time and it'll be better before you know it.
Take care